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Thread: Roughhousing?

  1. #1


    I just opened my home daycare one month ago. I have a 2 almost 3 year old and a 6 yr old after school who are brothers. I also have 3 2 year olds. The brothers are constantly trying to roughhouse. I always say no and that they have to do that at their homes because I don't want the other kids learning that behaviour. Wondering what you guys think. I feel like a boring daycare lol I am constantly saying no climbjng this, no jumping on that. Is this normal for daycare? I have no idea what I'm doing. But, kids are happy and parents are happy. I don't know, any insight? Suggestions?

  2. #2
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    May 2016
    57 Times in 42 Posts
    I don't allow any play fighting (even between toy figures), inside or out. It's not realistic-in real life, people get very hurt from fighting. Even police try to talk it out first, and only chase/fight if provoked. If they respond that they can do it at home, I explain that they may have different rules at home, but at school (preschool) they follow school rules.

    No climbing, jumping or running inside the house. On a storm day I put a hopscotch mat in an empty hall, and they can jump there. We go out everyday, rain or shine, where they have opportunities to jump, climb, turn upside down, etc. Inside, when they do those things, I say the positive "we will run outside, inside we need to walk", or "the couch is for sitting, we can climb the tree when we go out". It cuts down on the 'no' and reminds them that the behaviour is not bad, but it is not appropriate everywhere.

    I have a younger sibling (2.5yo, have his 4yo brother now) starting next week, and I anticipate having this conversation many, many times in my future!

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    751 Times in 483 Posts
    Gahhh. I had 2.5 and 3.5yr old brothers. They were constantly trying to rough house. Drove me bonkers. They would literally walk up behind each other, grab the other and throw them to the floor then land on them. Just not acceptable in my mind. Especially with a 2.5yr old that does not have the coordination for such things. I also felt that if I was going to allow them to do it with each other then letting my daughter in on the action was only fair game. She is 4, pure muscle, 43", 49lbs and in Jiu Jistu lol. No way I was letting her go at a 2.5 year old.

    I have a very firm hands to yourself rule. It is just not acceptable anywhere outside of their own home and therefore not acceptable in my home.

    Also no running. no standing/jumping on furniture, no sitting on the coffee table etc. It's just common sense. I provide plenty of time for being active and using gross motor skills outside there is no reason they need to do such things inside.

    But I also find that I seem like no fun. I find myself constantly reminding them to sit and play with a toy (other wise they start running and throwing things).

  4. #4
    Thanks for all the information guys! I am in a battle (with myself I guess) that I'm a boring daycare. We have free play inside and outside and stuff and I do play with them as much as I can, but I find I'm mostly saying "don't claim on there you don't want to fall, don't hit, don't throw that, please be quiet there's babies sleeping " etc.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    182 Times in 161 Posts
    you can try and control when they have the gross motor activities inside such as trying hopping like a bunny, and hopping on one leg etc till they are tired out

  6. #6
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    486 Times in 369 Posts
    Although it common esp with siblings, it not permitted here. It always leads to someone get hurt and other children picking up this behaviour. I will separate children who do this, the second it occurs. If it on-going issue, I speak to parents and find out if this common at home too - for very small children, it often something Dad or Uncle do with children at home. So I clear that while it seem innocent enough, the child not understand that this unacceptable outside the home. It cannot happen here, it will not happen here so either parent get on board with either not doing at home or making sure consistent message given that this family activity isn't okay outside home, then they can go elsewhere. It one thing having a child get accidentally hurt on my watch but I not being liable for the aggressive play that a family has taught when someone else's child might be the one who gets caught up and hurt.

  7. #7
    Starting to feel at home...
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    48 Times in 35 Posts
    Carrielind...you can become in-boring AND curb the roughhousing. Keep enforcing your rules, but have a couple structured activities a day. Playdoh time, cut and tape projects, felt story time, garbage art (toilet tubes, food boxes, milk containers)... When that 6yr old makes his way over, have something more age appropriate for him to do. But...as the bigger kid...he needs to take the lead on not roughhousing.
    Hang in there. you may be feeling a loss of your creative mojo. Time to suss out some new resources and learn to love your caregiving again!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    78 Times in 74 Posts
    I know this is a common behaviour between boys, but also I found out that this behaviour is learned (from fathers or older peers); it turned to be dangerous when years ago an older kid almost chocked his little brother and I had a serious conversation with their father. It stopped!

    A six years old coming from school I'm sure he is full of energy; try to wait ready for him to stay and play outdoors (get his snacks ready to go), school ages are more active and they creave for physical activities y did work with them and I used to keep them pretty much really busy mostly in the parks or going for nature walks to collect things, etc. I have designed areas just for children (so I do not have to say "no" constantly); areas to dance, jump, areas to do arts and crafts, areas to read and be quiet, areas to choose and work independently with different little projects for them (it really attracts their attention and keeps them busy even parents cannot believe how quiet it is when they arrive at pick up time). Over the years I have mostly boy groups, and there is a big difference when taking care of them, I realized that actually it was me who had to change; get all my energy and wait for them ready to enjoy our active days. Even painting with water with big paint brushe's our fence will be entertaining for them or big card board.boxes (found during recycle time); Giving them real nut and bolts and other grown up tools (hAndy husband's idea) worked; my little ones will be so ancious to do what the big Kids where doing, we baked outdoors, they did bird feeders, they builted breaches, cars, boats, etc. All using recycled materials.

    My program is based on hands on. And a probably 80% outdoors, the feedback from parents are that their children have good sleeps, they're happy to start the next day, they have good appetites and overall happy kids.

    Also in winter, I just wear extra pants and we're out, we bundle the babies a.bit more and they're out. Only in harsh days we keep indoors but also I have already set big projects for them for those days.

    Try the best to enjoy it with them, they will appreciate it and you'll be less stressed. If your furniture is to inviting for them to jump then probably you can set and area to do so. If you say no, the teachers say no, the parents say no, what is left for them to do?

    Start thinking in all kinds of activities that you'll be happy to say "yes". It will absolutely change your day. Good luck.

  9. #9
    I had problems with the children wanting to run constantly in the house so this summer I turned the garage into a 'gross motor' room. I'm in a bit of a unique situation that allowed me this freedom (no hubbie/kids!). I put cushioned mats down on the floor and a small trampoline, a small slide, a tent, some large cardboard 'bricks', some large trucks, a sand table and painted a huge magnetic chalkboard on the wall and put a gate across the exit to the driveway and propped open the door to the house... The kids loved it! and instead of telling them they couldn't run/jump in the house I could tell them to go to the garage if they had excess energy. We spent the majority of the summer outside! I realize not many people can go to this extreme but I thought it might give you some ideas on how to adapt the space you have. The other thing I did was change the indoor layout so they couldn't run because of furniture layout while still giving them adequate floor space to play.

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