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Thread: Naps

  1. #1

    Naps

    Okay so I have a 2 yr old dck who has been with me for four months. At the beginning heíd only nap for 45 mind, but clearly tired after waking. Well I talked to his mom about it and she says oh ya thatís what he does then we bring him to the living room and he falls back asleep on couch for another hour. So I have been doing that here for a bout a month or so. Itís fine because everyone else is napping, however it is really not ideal. I feel like when he goes through the sleep cycles he canít fall back asleep on his own. Apparently at home she has been putting him to bed then when he wakes bringing him to her bed. So there we go thatís why heís like this obviously. So now she is pregnant and wants to stop this , so she just keeps bringing him back to his bed at night, itís been 4 days for her now and still fighting her at night, on Friday I tried keeping him in his bed and shushing him/staying beside him but it just ended up waking all of the other kids up, and he didnít fall back asleep.Disastrous. Anyways, any help? Advice?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by carrielind View Post
    Okay so I have a 2 yr old dck who has been with me for four months. At the beginning heíd only nap for 45 mind, but clearly tired after waking. Well I talked to his mom about it and she says oh ya thatís what he does then we bring him to the living room and he falls back asleep on couch for another hour. So I have been doing that here for a bout a month or so. Itís fine because everyone else is napping, however it is really not ideal. I feel like when he goes through the sleep cycles he canít fall back asleep on his own. Apparently at home she has been putting him to bed then when he wakes bringing him to her bed. So there we go thatís why heís like this obviously. So now she is pregnant and wants to stop this , so she just keeps bringing him back to his bed at night, itís been 4 days for her now and still fighting her at night, on Friday I tried keeping him in his bed and shushing him/staying beside him but it just ended up waking all of the other kids up, and he didnít fall back asleep.Disastrous. Anyways, any help? Advice?
    Truthfully, if your system of moving him to the couch and he sleeps another hour is working I would continue with that and let her get it sorted out on her end first, then switch to keeping him in his bed at your place. Let her get it sorted out on her end, she doesn't have multiple other children that are at risk of being woken.

    If it is not working and you want it stopped now. Then you'll just have to ride it out. But old habits are hard to change...and this is a habit that has been in place at home and daycare so will be hard to change without protest.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by carrielind View Post
    Okay so I have a 2 yr old dck who has been with me for four months. At the beginning he’d only nap for 45 mind, but clearly tired after waking. Well I talked to his mom about it and she says oh ya that’s what he does then we bring him to the living room and he falls back asleep on couch for another hour. So I have been doing that here for a bout a month or so. It’s fine because everyone else is napping, however it is really not ideal. I feel like when he goes through the sleep cycles he can’t fall back asleep on his own. Apparently at home she has been putting him to bed then when he wakes bringing him to her bed. So there we go that’s why he’s like this obviously. So now she is pregnant and wants to stop this , so she just keeps bringing him back to his bed at night, it’s been 4 days for her now and still fighting her at night, on Friday I tried keeping him in his bed and shushing him/staying beside him but it just ended up waking all of the other kids up, and he didn’t fall back asleep.Disastrous. Anyways, any help? Advice?
    It's been four days in trying to break a habit that he's always had. It takes 21 days to establish a new habit in a human being. And for a child, 21 days of 100% consistency between your house and home. Give it time.

    It's always a little easier to set a new routine in a new environment so just for future reference, it is easier not to encourage the poor habits with a new child from day one so they understand the expectations in day care. Peer pressure isn't always a negative thing so new children will often follow the established groups cues for nap time, meal times, outside times, even if they wake mid-nap initially. Now he's been accommodated and allowed to nap on your couch, his poor home routine has been enforced in day care and it will be a bigger adjustment.

    Do you have a separate room that you could use for this child initially? The bedroom of a family member whose in school or a basement rec room perhaps? If so, I would consider switching this child to that room so the focus can be on getting him to remain in the dedicated space for the nap time duration and then you can add him in with the other children once he's mastered staying where he should be.

    A video monitor is often helpful too. If you can invest the three weeks (21 days) of making sure he's monitored closely, as he stirs, you could reassure him via the monitor to settle back down before he's fully awake. Alternatively. by having him separate initially, you can sleep train by going in and laying him back down and if he grumbles for a little while, you can be less concerned about others being disturbed.

    Before you take on any actions, first consider what you do and don't want to do. Lots of day homes take on the lion's share of investing the time to change habits and get frustrated when parent's don't provide equal effort. Due to this, some change their policies for sleep training and toilet training to require parents to invest some sweat equity up front.

    Do you want to/are you able to invest three weeks in breaking this nap time habit after having already bent your own preferences to mirror the home time routine of couch napping against your better judgement? And if you are, what investment are you expecting from the parents to make this smoother? I am assuming that nap time in your care is at a fixed time each day but when the child is home at the weekends etc, is naptime scheduled firmly for the same time of day or is nap time something that only happens when the child is falling down tired/when it's convenient to the family's weekend plans/sometimes happens/sometimes doesn't?

    Bottom line - please don't feel obligated to agree to all the requests from parents. In a group care environment, the objective is always to bring each individual child into your routine not to mirror each child's individual preferences/quirks. It's okay to require some effort from client's. It's okay to explain to client's that their request is too disruptive to the core group and it's okay to state that you can't lose your clean up/prep for afternoon time to running back and forth to their child trying to keep them from waking everyone. I would have declined the ability to nap on my couch and forced the sleep issue from day one. I don't even let my husband sleep on the couch and send him off to bed if he can't stay awake. I'm not having a daycare child drooling and snotting on it.
    Last edited by Suzie_Homemaker; 12-12-2017 at 10:11 AM.

  4. #4
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    I’ve always put the difficult sleepers in a separate bedroom with a monitor. I wouldn’t continue to reinforce poor sleeping routines from home. Yes it could take a month, but child needs to learn to settle himself again without adult intervention. I’ve had many difficult sleepers here, and within 3-4 weeks, all was well, and they learned to self soothe. It’s a bit of hard work, but the results are worth it.

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    Yes. Bringing him in a separate room would be ideal if possible, but if you work with agencies it is not allowed: All children should sleep in the same room (liability reasons) when I start with new children in my group, it usually takes two to five days to adjust for their naps, I keep the new ones really physically active. Encouraging babies to crawl more or to walk and run, we dance a lot those days. So, when they go for their naps they're really tired they do not wake up. During the afternoon is more relaxed and easy. I put all the children to sleep in the same room, the older ones nap on cots and babies before 18 months in playpens. Children have learned to woke up by them selves put their bedding away and join me in the next room for a quiet arts and crafts activities, 18 months do that too.

    This worked even with a mom telling me that she has been rocking her baby to put him to sleep and when he used to wake up in the middle of the night. Now he doesn't even wake up at night. I keep telling parents fresh air and exercise helps for good sleeps. And also a special diet, before going bed at night helps.

  6. #6
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    It does take time, about a month, but it is worth it in the end to change his habits.
    Parents tell me at home we do this.....but I just say the child learns it is different at daycare as it is in a group setting. It can be hard work for the month and then it will FINALLY run smoothly.

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