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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    1 Time in 1 Post

    What to do about a child non stop crying.

    So I have a 2.5 year old girl in my care and she has been with me for a year and was my best kid, but the last 2 months she cries non stop. Drop off she bawls, and then when itís time to transition into something she starts crying. Iím guessing itís separation anxiety but man itís a long one. Iím just wondering if anyone here has ever had a problem like that and what you do.
    I have a spot when I say itís her ďquiet spotĒ to sit and settle down as I donít allow her to just sit on the couch and cry.
    If we are watching a movie and it ends she cries, if itís time to clean up she cries, if itís snack or lunch she cries, if itís time to get ready for school drop off or pick up she cries. Sheís maybe happy 2-3 hours of the day and sheís with me from 645-4 and 2.5 hours sheís napping which is my only break from her crying.
    If a kid is mean or takes her toy she cries and then just sits and pouts or refuses to go back and play for like an hour.
    Iím at a loss on what to do, and mom and dad have tried to help do things at home but sheís not like this at home, only with me. I try not to get mad with her as that makes it worse but sometimes I do because the crying is just so constant and my sanity canít take it sometimes.
    So any suggestions would be great because I feel terminating her care is just too mean

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    78 Times in 74 Posts
    Hi. I think there are many reasons to consider, children are very intuitive you have to analize what have changed since she started crying (maybe her parents are expecting a new baby); there must be a reason of why and it is at times hard to figure it out even a simple change in their rooms or your playroom can trigger this kind of melt downs.

    Anyway, my only approach to your situation is changing her emotional and mind state when she arrives. Ex. Find out what she likes best some girls love crafts or playdough or tiny toys. Get ready a little basket just for her, as soon as she arrives offer her that special activity just for her. I have a little one that his brain doesn't take transitions easily for him every morning there are special things waiting ready. So, now as soon as he arrives he runs into my home happy and he even forgets to say bye to his dad or mom. He loves his little activities and joins the group when his mind has settled (usually 5 to 10 min.) He also has been going to preschool and he still cries there (they do not know how to settle him down).

    When you mentioned that she cries after almost every transition then it means that her brain is having a hard time to switch from one activity to another which results in melt downs, try to give warnings at least five to two minutes before every transition ex. We'll have snacks in five minutes start to finish what you're doing. Etc. Also you can give her a bit of control of choosing cleaning up in two of five minutes.

    Also, self regulation or self control doesn't come easy at that age a quiet place for that age must have something soothing ex. Big picture books, little stuffies, fidget toys or something that can distract her mind and help to settle. Due to stress I have also placed a little bucket with warm water dishsoap and a sponge so they can squish it (only for that child, I just explain the others that they will have chance to explore it once our little friend is done)

    I know this might disrup your daily routine but, it is only until her brain settles and recognizes eventually that only in your home feels secure and nurtured. Don't give up. I have also tried (and still do) play soothing, calming music.

    You also said that it started two months ago (I just noticed close to the beginning of the school year); maybe it is too many transactions and her brain doesn't have enough time to properly settle down.

  3. #3
    How long has she been going for? My DS used to become hysterical at drop-off, but he settled into it after a month or two. The hysterics ended, and he tolerated daycare centre

  4. #4
    Shy chloe_p's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Separation anxiety is very common in young children who leave their comfort zone. Maybe it is changing activities that pulls the trigger.

    I think you're doing a great job with her. It's important that you can feel/acknowledge her pain and it's smart that you have a "crying spot" so you have some control. I wouldn't try to reason with her though because it's giving her the power. I would give it a few more weeks and if it doesn't get better, I'd probably term her for both your sanity and hers.

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