Toilet training

[playfelt]

I have 4 in various stages of training right now and each parent has done it differently and in their own way despite the fact I am the one with the child the bulk of the day. I finally put my foot down to so speak in October and said enough is enough and announced what would be happening at daycare. Parents need to realize that life at daycare is different. At home if they say "pee" mom drops everything and goes to the bathroom with the child maybe even sings or reads him a story or whatever. At my house when the child says "pee" they realize they have to leave the toys and their friends and go to the potty and we are there to pee not have social time. In other words announcing you have to pee can be like asking to be punished in a way - as the same thing as being sent to time out happens (no toys, no friends). Parents are also guilty of taking ownership of toileting instead of letting the child take the lead and that was the problem here. It was the parents that were telling the child when to go and making him sit till he did, etc. The result is that he never learned the concept of "going potty" - just peeing by accident when on the toilet which led to lots of accidents in the underwear they insisted he was ready for.

My policy is pullups and sweatpants if you want me actively train your child. If still in diapers we go on the potty before and after nap etc. ie normal diaper change times if they are still dry. They stay in pullups until they have been accident free for a month AT DAYCARE without me telling them to go pee. They know when they need to go and either go by themselves or tell me for assistance. Once we switch to underwear they wear a pullup at naptime till I am satisfied. I also have a no accidents policy after meaning if you pee them then the replacement is a pullup. The rationale here being child may be sick, overtired, being obstinate or lazy - who cares the reason but we get to pee only once in our pants at daycare for the day. Tomorrow you try again. I do not rinse clothes and that includes poop in underwear - if a solid chunk I dump but anything runny goes in a zip bag and goes home.

I am not a fan of toilet training just because parents have this weird attitude about it. A child can still have a baby bottle, soother and sleep in a crib, babble or whine instead of words, eat with fingers, not bite and chew foods, etc. but all of a sudden they reach age 2 and I am supposed to potty train????? Toilet learning like everything else is a natural stage of development and children need to progress through them all more or less in order. When the child feels grown up and is treated like they are growing up then they will want to do grown up things like use the toilet. Until then there is this great thing called pullups.