Just a question...socail situations and DCK

[samantha3]

Hello,

Just wondering if any of you have ever been or not been invited to a birthday party for a child who is in your care. What are your thoughts on this subject?

Thank you

[mlc1982]

I have been and (think) I haven't been! I've gone to one, haven't gone to one and think there might be one this weekend that I haven't gotten an invite to.
I personally don't care to be invited. I'm not one to mix business with pleasure and I feel that if I get an invite, I have to invite them to my kids' birthday parties. I love the kids dearly but don't really want to deal with them on my days off!
I try to do something for the kids while in my care. One of dck's has a birthday tomorrow so I picked up a dessert for after lunch and we'll sing happy birthday. I used to buy gifts but have decided to break away from that this year. It was an extra expense I didn't need.

[playfelt]

Back when we got babies into care at 4 months I was often invited to their first birthday and it was a great networking time since many of their friends they invited were having babies. Also it was nice to hear the grandparents talk about me as in all the nice things the parents had said about me. Now I don't usually get invited and not sure if I did that I would actually go since I would only know the family for less than a month. I have attended Christenings - again years ago and not now and a couple of first communions for children I had had in care many years that I had stayed in contact with the family.

[Spixie33]

We got asked once and I took a few days to think about it. I didn't want to get too personal and blur the lines between work and play.
In the end we did go because my own child and the daycare child were really good friends and playmates and I figured that we were asked because they had a genuine wish for the two children to get together.
It went well

[fruitloop]

I don't care to go to dckids b-day parties. I see them enough during the week. Just something I'm not interested in doing on my days off.

[Judy Trickett]

I never have accepted the invitation. Daycare is my business and only my business. It is NOT my life. These people are not my friends or family. I take great care of their kids during the day and then hand them back over, better for it, to the parents. That is the lengths of our relationship.

[Skysue]

I hear you Judy on that note! Business is business period. I became great friends with my daughters old provider but that was after the fact.

I'm in the situation right now where my daughter is turing 4 and her whole life is the daycare. She wants to invite 3 friends but seriously I would feel like I'm working.

[playfelt]

The kids in the daycare the same age as my own children were their friends just as they had friends at school. How do you expect them to treat them differently. I didn't invite all the daycare to parties just the age appropriate ones at my child's request and they were treated the same as the other guests. My own kids went to parties of daycare kids too for the same reason but it was about the kids and not about my relationship with the parents.

[Skysue]

Your right playflet it is for the kids. The main problem is that she wants to invite 2 year olds and I know they would be getting into too much at the party! So what I will do is have a party at daycare for her just like I do for all the kids. That way they will be comming to her party!

[playfelt]

This brings up an interesting concept that goes along with another thread about our kids adjusting to the daycare. If we expect our children to be part of the daycare group then it should be just automatic that things like their birthdays, special events, are celebrated just the same as those of the daycare kids. I let the mom's send cookies or cupcakes for their child's birthday if they want to so for your own child she should be helping you to get the treats ready and then sharing them with her daycare friends. I know there is a fine line between where our own children fit in with our job as a daycare provider and yes it is possible for them to have special privileges the others don't because it is their house too but it is also necessary to make them feel a part of the daycare group and not like an outsider who is allowed to hang out with the daycare kids. I guess it just struck me as odd when you said about celebrating your daughter's birhday in the daycare as if it wouldn't have been an automatic thing to do. Be careful that our actions/inactions aren't what is causing the friction between our roles as mother and daycare provider.