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  1. #1
    Shy
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
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    DCP Tried to Become Confrontational in Front of Other DCP

    Just thought I’d share my experience that happened yesterday. So I’ve had a part-time boy who I unfortunately had to terminate care for, because his parents had said part-time when we initially met but I come to find out as his start date gets closer that it’s more like a casual thing. His parents start cancelling dates they said they needed for, & I also learn he will only need care ONCE for November & ONCE for December. So I terminated his care, which was unfortunate because he was such a great, calm, & easy-going kid & I would’ve loved to have had him full-time. Where I live unlicensed providers can only have a max of 4 kids (including their own) & I needed that spot for full-time.

    So yesterday during his pick up I had another parent come to give me a deposit to hold her spot until March next year & this parent (of the part-time Boy) decides he wants to “question” me on why I can’t just keep him on & does so quite loudly almost as if he’s doing it so the other parent will overhear the “conversation” to try to make me look bad. I repeatedly tell him that it’s because he’s too casual & I need that spot for full-time. “But if he’s only needing once in November why can’t you just keep him when you find another full-time?” It was making me very uncomfortable how he was trying to get me to run like an illegal daycare centre by being over my numbers. His wife used to run a home daycare & I’m wondering now if they ran illegally. He kept pushing it & I kept repeating myself. I was mortified that he was intentionally doing that because the other parent was here, & I had a feeling that was why he decided to become confrontational because I had seen him numerous times since I gave them notice & only then when she was here did he decide to question me. Once he left I then apologized to the other parent here to drop off a deposit & she told me she liked how I handled that & she also thought it was a little bothersome how he so casually wanted me to run over my legal allowed ratios. Needless to say, she still went ahead with her deposit

  2. #2
    Outgoing
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    303
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    Hi. For people like that (because I had some parents really interested in placing their children in my care); my usual answer is and very kingly with a big smile "I haven't thought that let me think about it and I'll send you an email this evening for sure".

    It works for adults and it work for children "let me think or give a moment and we will solve it" ����

    Sometimes adults get overworked or stressed out. And it seems sometimes (same as children) they just find ways to push your buttons.

    I learned in a course the first think is to acknowledge and even repeat back their sentence (once they noticed that you unserstood their message then they calm down) and then once you have done this then you offer a solution but not right away.

    At least then they will know that you'll give them an answer; you didn't say NO right away but you said you'll think about it.

    This gives them time to process and calm down so, when you send a message explaining why not it usually is accepted in a more positive maner, basically they had time to process it.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Peacefulbird For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,217
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    I can be tricky to shut down poor behaviour in a client. Especially when another client witnessing it. It can be hard not to feel that you have to stand there and listen and even harder not to put across your side of events.

    I also delay responding to these situations on the spot. I listen to the request, and tell them that I need to think about a resolution and will reach out to them that evening when my full focus can be on the request vs split between the children who are present and the situation.

    That allows thinking time but more importantly, you won't feel put on the spot and end up suggesting the first thing that comes to mind to defuse a situation, which you later realized is not something you actually want to do.

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  6. #4
    Shy
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    25
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    3 Times in 3 Posts
    Your method of dealing with such issues is great Peacefulbird,I usually react like Skeykavia ��which I am not very proud of,but always after such altercations think I should have used a better method of dealing with certain situations than I had

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