Development delays

[JARS]

Thank you for your response. I have known the child since birth, however I have started childcare less than three months ago. Mom was an acquaintance and I didn't know them very well prior to accepting the child into my care.

From what I see on a day to day basis, the child has EVERYTHING done for them. We have started working on putting on a coat and pants, but when they keep the child at home for 3-6 days, we then have to start from scratch again over and over. The child can do things, I'm not sure how much but can with a lot of help.

Bottles are no longer given here, because there is no interest. I cannot speak to how many bottles are given at home, but I expect it is enough to fill the child up and therefore the reason the child does not eat solid food. If there is any vegetable or fruit on the childs plate, the tears start at every meal time.

I know parents never want to hear they are holding their child back from growth and as a care provider I'd like to have suggestions for them to help encourage growth. The childs behaviour has now started affecting my family life because I have the child for long periods of time at night or weekends. There is many other circumstances I can't even type them all, including no structure for the child and the child may sleep at 12-1am until 8-9am and then nap for 5 hours a day. Not to mention inappropriate clothing for the weather, which I have addressed many times.

How can I not feel guilty if I need to let the child go?

[Suzie_Homemaker]

How can I not feel guilty if I need to let the child go?

Because you have to make decision based on your business not just on being a carer. As carers, we care. We try to fix every situation and make it better for the child. However, we can't fix parents who aren't open to learning.

I suspected the issues were from over doing at home. I've experienced that myself. Sometimes, parents just don't know and other times, they do it intentionally because it's their last baby.

I think you have to sit down with these parents for an open and frank discussion and if things don't improve, for your own sanity you will have to let them go otherwise you are going to struggle for any support potentially until this child leaves for school.

You might have to explain that as adults, we have a responsibility to encourage a child to push their boundaries and the tantrums are purely the child's way of expressing their frustration at having expectations put on them. These parents might not like the idea of their child being expected to develop some independence however, they have a responsibility to install the self confidence to try new things, to not manipulate people by poor behavior (tantrums).

In not allowing this child to develop these basic skills they are starving his/her self confidence. This child will never try something new if they haven't been allowed to learn in a safe environment where each time they fail, they are encouraged to keep going. If this continues, this child won't be able to function in school, and later in the adult world. This fear of doing for themselves will leave this child highly dependent and frightened of taking a chance. It's abusive.