Lying parents

[JARS]

I've had a child for a few months and normally parent #1 drops off and picks up.
For 2 weeks now, parent #2 has been doing pick ups and I've caught parent #1 in 5 lies/fibs in those 2 weeks.

Two questions :
One: if you know a parent is lying / or fibbing about the childs behaviour, or how their night went, or general well being do you address it with that parent?
Two : Do you question both parents about the same issues or just it all be and address it with who ever is present at the time?

[Lee-Bee]

What exactly are they lying about? How do the lies impact your job?

Sometimes parents just feel inadequake and fib to not have to let others know they aren't mastering the bedtime routinw, or meal serving etc.

If it is little fibs that are likely due to a parent feeling inadequate I would likely stop asking questions that lead to the fibs. Clearly they dont feel confortable and confident to answer truthfully and if the info isnt accurate it is useless. Calling them out on it will just make them even more embarrassed.

If the child is fitting in okay and following routines I would try and build the parents confidence.

If the child is NOT fitting in and the parents are lying about things that impact your job then I would meet with both parents.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

It depends what they are lying about and how it's impacting you. It's not my job to fix someone's fibbing ways. Way beyond the scope of my job. I don't quiz parents on anything either.

If someone comes and gives me a heads up that it was a rough night, or they didn't eat much breakfast or similar, it's nice information to have, but it's actually none of my damn business how their parent on their time.

The ONLY issues I address with parents is on-going behavior challenges and that's not done to complain, it's done to come up with a consistent strategy so all party's are dealing with it consistently in a way that suits but them and me. Any none child related issues with the parents (pay, drop off times, collection times) are of course deal with as they occur.

[Busy ECE mommy]

It depends what they’re lying about.
I don’t have time to waste on superficial white lies.
The ones that are deal breakers for me, is the parent masking an illness that I would normally exclude the child for, or not telling me the child had developmental or medical issues prior to starting.
With the illness one, most of my parents have one parent for drop off and one for pickup, so often if I ask both parents the same questions about a child’s symptoms, one parent lets the cat out of the bag about symptoms that may have occurred at home the night before.

[Peacefulbird]

Hi,

I'm very honest and they know that, so I usually post about 5 to 6 times in a year a short " thank you reminder" for how important is in my daily work, when they let me know any issues related to:
1. Child's night sleep.
2. Eating patterns (including new favorite food they might have tried)
3. Any other signs that they might suspect what the cause of a miss behaviour is. Or any changes happening in the family that might affect a behaviour.
4. Or if someone in the family have passed away.
5. Or if they might have been in contact with a communicable disease. (I try to do my best in also telling to parents if I suspected that someone in the playgroup was sick or throwing up etc) our communication goes both ways.
6. Also if parents have given over the counter medicine in order to aliviate a synthoms of a cold etc. (In that case I only ask them to arrive before the next dose is so the child doesn't have to go through the disconfort)

We follow the communicable diseases guidelines for childcare. Each family has a copy or they csn also find it on the Web.

I also reasure that all this information is kept confidential but, it definitely helps me provide a better support care for their child.

I use logs so I keep notes, then we try to find solutions or work proactively. Parents basically know I'm here to support their children and that is not just from my doors in, in general I try to support children holistically (which means I'm able to understand that certain behaviours can have rooted due to family changes or diets or due to natural development, etc) and I only rely on the parents truthful information to figure it out and reach that child beyond covering just the basic needs.

Children are more sensitive than adults, their sense of perception is higher.

Obviously, sharing their personal info. Other than how their child sleep was doesn't happen in a daily basis only when they think it might have an impact in their child's daycare day.

I also refrain from making negative comments when they tell me their child didn't have a good sleep. I assure them that I'll make sure the lunch and nap time is done slightly earlier. Or if their child shows any signs of discomfort then they wI'll be called. My current group of parents are really good and very supportive and very considerate.

[JARS]

Thank you. I feel this is similar to how I provide care. I think the parents are in denial of some of the childs behaviour and are making up excuses but I cannot help the child if they are not honest with me. I recently started with logs and will see if that can change the parents outlook.