How do I approach this?

I have a daycare parent who says there child spends more time with me that her? I asked her a few questions about her development and how she disciplines due to new behavior. She sort of jokingly said why am I asking when she spends more time in my care. I don’t want to take it personal but it’s not the 1st time she has said this to me.
Her little one is in my care Tues-Friday from 9am-5pm that’s 32 hours. Then she is at home Sat-Mon plus evenings 5-8pm (bed time) 7am-9am (morning time) which equals 64 hours if we don’t add her sleep time at night.

Should I bring this up next time she says something as its kind of bothering me. She has even said jokingly that if she has any problems in school etc. then she has me to blame.

I really like this client but it’s seriously bugging me L.

being in denial when there is a blatant issue is one thing but planning on being in denial in the future is well weird.

I wouldn't bring it up per se but whenever it happens be prepared to call her on it. Try to determine if she is jelous of the time you spend with the child, if she feels totally incompetent or - you don't say how old the child is but if you are talking school assume a bit older - Is it possible the child is going home and repeating things you say, questioning the parent by complaining they aren't doing it your way or something along that line.

In the grand scheme of things the parent is right if you look at it from a school standpoint of Mon-Fri in that you have her 4 of 5 days where she either learns or doesn't depending on what you do. Evenings and weekends are down time and the parent is saying she is not wasting "her time" on teaching the child so assume whatever you teach is what the child will know when she goes to school.

She is 2 years old and she knows her aphabet, can identify A-Z with flash cards, 1-10 with flash cards, now we are working on colours and shapes. Still whos job is it to teach these things. When my little one was in daycare I never expected it and yes I taught her on the weekend!

That parent scares me! You get the blame but at least she gives you credit for all that you are teaching her child, so I guess that's good. Next time she says that tell her, 'No, we are a team and we are both raising this child, so we have to work together'.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

being in denial when there is a blatant issue is one thing but planning on being in denial in the future is well weird.

I wouldn't bring it up per se but whenever it happens be prepared to call her on it. Try to determine if she is jelous of the time you spend with the child, if she feels totally incompetent or - you don't say how old the child is but if you are talking school assume a bit older - Is it possible the child is going home and repeating things you say, questioning the parent by complaining they aren't doing it your way or something along that line.

In the grand scheme of things the parent is right if you look at it from a school standpoint of Mon-Fri in that you have her 4 of 5 days where she either learns or doesn't depending on what you do. Evenings and weekends are down time and the parent is saying she is not wasting "her time" on teaching the child so assume whatever you teach is what the child will know when she goes to school.

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So does that also mean any problems our children have while in school we can just blame the teachers? Give me a break! I wish i could use all my evenings and weekends as downtime.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

That parent scares me! You get the blame but at least she gives you credit for all that you are teaching her child, so I guess that's good. Next time she says that tell her, 'No, we are a team and we are both raising this child, so we have to work together'.

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I agree with Momof4 ~ tell the Mom that you are a team. What she does at home and what you do at daycare have to mirror each other in order for correcting this new behavior that the little one may have developed.
I recently ended care with one family ~ although their little one was just a dream, the parents scared me and too many comments that just didn't sit well. I'm not saying end care over this but always go with what your gut tells you...if something is sitting on your mind uneasy~ talk to them about it. I let things built up on my end. Again, bring up that your both on the same team and you wanted to discuss something that you felt might be a concern of hers. Not pointing fingers but letting the parent know that the concern is for her/them to ensure everything is OK and on the right track.
Good luck!

Um, it's not YOUR choice that she is with you "more" than her parents. Who decided to work outside the home and send her child to daycare? Dummy.
Anyway, these parents always make me very nervous. She clearly doesn't value the time that she DOES have with her daughter.
Next time she mentions this, I would absolutely talk about being a team. And remind her that the loudest "voice" in a child's ear is always the parents. That is why, sometimes, even when a child is with us 8 to 10 hours a day 5 days a week, we can't break a bad habit or behaviour without the parents being on board.

Maybe She just misses her kid? . . . . a lot of parents feel guilty that they aren't there 24/7. I would ask her how much she misses her. Sympathize with her and then tell her that THIS is why you are asking about discipline and such. Since she (the mom) can't be there all the time YOU want to help to raise this child the way SHE would want when the kid is in care. She'll open up, you get the info you want. and both parties walk away feeling good about the care the little one gets.