(long) Vent: Loser of a mother!

My dcg is like one of those you hear about and think it's like "bigfoot"....no ever sees them! haha

I should have known this was a bad arrangement from the begining when there were like 40 red flags but we needed the $$ and were not in the position to be selective. We were to move into our new house on Jan.4...but delayed it to the 14. On the 6th I got a call from this mom saying the previous homeowner passed my info along, She heard I was doing daycare and wanted to know if I could watch her daughter.....tomorro w!!! I told her that I don't have any furniture since I'm not living there yet but if she still wanted too, I would do it. She said yes....the next day it was "Hi nice to meet you, here is my kid, I'll be back at 4pm". With NO info!!!!!! Who the &%$* does that???? 2nd day I had a contract & forms for her and she looked at me like I was from mars. Too bad lady, I need to cover my own arse!

Dcg is a total sweetie, speaks so well and is very independent, potty trained, feeds herself etc. She's 2yrs old! and does things that I know some 4yr olds don't.....she even makes her bed after nap (she did it on her own). Mother drops her off at 8am when it's supposed to be at 7:30 and there is an excuse every morning. She's in dirty pajams and socks 2 sizes too small...even her change outfit is dirty! Her hair is a birds-nest from not being brushed, except for when I do it because she sees me fixing my daughter and asks for her hair too :(

So...she arrives at 8am with maybe a 1/2 peice of dry toast in her from the car ride - one time I asked if she ate since she was eyeing my daughter's food - mom replies "she found some hickory sticks in the car and had those" :ohmy:
Mom is home early many days (because I notice clothing change) and doesn't come to get her kid until 6PM!!! We agreed to that time because of her working in Toronto....not to chill out! Dcg goes to bed at 7:00pm....mom says she makes dinner so that leaves her 1hr with her child ALL day and I'm 100% sure she doesn't spend any time with her. Fridays mom dropps her off at nana's and the week starts again! I believe nana is the only parent dcg has! *not* that this defines someone but mom has a 11yr old son from man#1 dcg is from ex-hubby and is getting married to #3 this summer :unsure:

Last week she sent me a text at midnight saying she'd be dropping off dcg after 9am.....fine. At 8am I got another text saying she was going to stay home with dad! Uhhhh I have a phone, call me and you still owe me for the day, 1hr notice isn't enough!!! She begged me to let this time go.....and like an idiot I did :o

Now I'm at a boiling point....this is the same mom who walks into my house with shoes on, wetting my floors even after I hinted. Today she sent a new sippy cup filled with grape juice (I didn't check since I told her only water was allowed) well the new cup isn't spill proof and I have grape juice ALL over my floors, carpet & beige couch!!!!!! :cursing:

I would terminate BUT dcg is the only one I have right now....I have a part-timer starting tomorrow but she's my only full-time and I don't want to shoot myself in the foot with the $$.

ahhhhhhh!!!

I had one just like this..only she had a set of twins. I suffered for almost 6 months before I finally terminated them. I posted a vent like this as well and the other providers were fantastic for showing support. I totally understand how your feeling. We too needed the money and couldn't terminate right at the beginning when we should have! Needless to say, it ended up costing me more to keep them as I had to buy new furniture that they broke, new toys that they broke and lost a family who saw them in action and didn't want her child around them :(

My advice (and I got it from the other providers on here) is to take control right away! Take the cups from her child at arrival and remind mom that its not allowed. Come right out and tell Mom to take her shoes off. Tell Mom that she must have breakfast before arriving, or that you will include breakfast for a fee. I have it right in my contract now that children must come in clean clothes and a clean diaper (I had one family who would send in pj's and diaper from the night before, ewwwwww!)

I also have a family who go home shower and change and relax a bit before picking up their child because 'technically' I am open until 6pm (they finish work at 3 and show up at 5:50). Sometimes they even tell me about their afternoon nap and early dinner before coming, ugh! I've recently put my foot down on that one too and told them that the additional hours would be an additional charge. They are now arriving just after 3 to pick their child up :)

Not easy to deal with for sure, I feel for you! Here's hoping things get better!

Hi,

I can totally feel you as I had a mom who was very much the same. She would bring in outside food, (I mean Tim Hortons choclate donuts for a three y/o @ 6 AM??) Here child never had clean clothes was thrree and had NO INTEREST IN THE POTTY. I MEAN NONE. Mom asked me for a 6 AM drop off and was at least 30 mins late EVERYDAY.

This child was an angel until challenged. She was a tad of a bully and when I talked to mom her answer was something along the lines of, she has siblings and has to fight for everything she has this is just her. WHAT? She was never onboard with helping me with this kid, and she always just wanted me to give in all the time not enforcing my rules (mom).

What I did was I kept the dcg on until I found another to fill her spot, and gave mom the notice reqiured in my contract stating that I was no longer able to provide care, when she pressed I just simply stated that after much trial and error dcg just wasn't thriving here.

I hope you can find a resolution that works for you.

Ginger

I am so sad for this poor little girl, who is obviously not much more than an inconvenience to her mother. :(
That aside; it's time to put your foot down. Enforce your rules, as stated in your contract/handbook. I would keep advertising, and as soon as you can, give her a final notice to comply with the agreements in the contract.
I guess it comes down to whether or not you can see them walk away. I would not accept a dirty, unfed child at drop off. I would flat out tell mom that she needed to go home and get her ready for the day. If she doesn't feed her (and since she communicates, you can ask!!), I would implement a cost to providing breakfast. (On a side note: hickory sticks for breakfast??? REALLY?? Ugh!!)
I would also give her a bill for the steam cleaning of your couch and carpet. Not fair to you. Either she brings acceptable equipment, or you will provide it.

So...I'm alrready on an edge as you know.

Today dck is to arrive by 7:45, I got a text at 7:37 saying that they would be here by 8:45-9. When mom arrived at 9:02 her kid was in pajama's and barely fed! I mean come on!!

Now it's pick-up time...mom comes in all dressed up "I got off at 3 today, went to court then ran some errands...finally decorated *****'s room......" blah blah blah. AGAIN dck puts boots on and steps on my floors, I pick dck up and say "we went outside for a walk today, your boots are dirty and I cleaned the floors. Please stay on the mat" I went into the kitchen to go get dck's bottle and dck purposely started stomping on my floors!! Mom just sat (on my stairs to boot....it's not chatty time, get the **** out) and doesn't say a thing!!! As mom's leaving she turns to me and says "so yeah that vacation is coming up, ***** won't be here from the 27-2" and walks out. She told me at the very begining that she had 2 weeks vacation planned but didn't tell me when!

I'm starting to hate this woman.....

Time for some action. enough is enough.

My what a "winner" ! Turf her a$$.

Oh, sweet christopher.... However you end up wording it; GOODBYE!!!!!