Pick up time show

I know there have been a few post about this lately ~'The Flopper' and I've had to deal with a toddler who had to be dressed and ready to go for pick up as she would run away, hit her parents and they didn't do anything to correct her.

My question is why do you think this is happening with this little guy 16 months~
It was like a switch happened and he started over reacting and whining ...my thoughts are welcome to the upcoming world of the terrible twos!
Now at pick up he has always run around, laughing with my own girls and the other kids and his Mom and I chat while the kids are running around. Now he gets right bent at everything when Mom is here. EG- last night he was climbing up the slide instead of using the steps. When I went to tell him we go down the slide and asked for his hand to show him the stairs..like I always do, he had a screaming fit and threw himself down and ran to Mom who had her arms out. He is also tugging at her top as she is still nursing him and freaking out that he can't have any. Not letting her put his jacket or shoes on and just like above..doing 'the Flopper' and even hurt himself doing it. It DRIVES me and so I've made changes with Mom that moving forward he will be dressed for pick up.


I think he is looking for Mom's attention as we are talking and he hasn't seen her all day and wants her to cuddle...any other thoughts as it was quite seriously over the weekend the change happened?

Been there done this too many times! It is like a switch isn't it? I have a little boy who I've just gotten through this phase now but he could have won an Oscar, I swear! I called him my Jeckyll & Hyde boy because he turned into a monster I didn't even recognize when his Mom was here, then switched it off in a second when she left, OMG. But he's 3 now and I finally got through to him by talking to him and making him understand. When he was 2 it was insane and his mother didn't know what to do so I would take him and sit him for a timeout but that just made him worse. Just keep trying and enforcing your rules and let the parents know that it is still your house and your rules and that you don't appreciate the behaviour. Try to get them to leave as quickly as possible.

Between 16-18 months it is very normal for kids to go through another stage of separation anxiety and coincides with moving from infancy to true toddlerhood. They have a sense of themselves as separate and apart from the adults in their life and are unsure about the new found freedom. Things like disobeying rules is to find out if what they think is true really is true as in do the rules still apply - one of the reasons we need to insist that our rules are followed at pickup no matter what age the child is. I normally just step in and talk to the child and if it gets truely out of hand I take the coat and dress them while talking to them and usually they have learned not to mess with me so I get much better cooperation. Hopefully mom or dad is taking mental notes of what I am doing/not doing, saying etc. so they can do it next time.

Playfelt is right as usual, but I just wanted to mention that I find the children who behave the best at dropoff and pickup are the ones who get lots of attention and hugs and face to face with the parents. My boy who started getting out of control and just got worse and worse has the kind of Mom who likes to talk to me for a while, which I appreciate because I like to talk to adults once in a while and I really like her. However, her son wanted her attention and she just kind of let him pull on her leg and carry on until it got crazy. Now I know if that ever starts to happen again that I will not let it continue to escalate and I'll watch for the signs.

I also think that 18 months or so is the age where they realize they can manipulate their parents and these are just a couple of times a day that they can really lay it on thick. The old guilt trip works wonders on some parents but it's our job to make sure the parents know it's just an act and that it has to be stopped immediately.

Thanks ladies! I've never had a little one go so, as you so perfectly put it Momof4, 'Jeckle and Hyde' at pick up like this before.
I'm with you playfelt, hopefully Mom and Dad will take some notes on what I'm doing at pick up.
First time Mom and Dad and they are wondering why it's only here and no where else. Your comments might help them understand a little better too.:)

I also find too, that at the end of the day, some little ones are sooooo overstimulated (not to mention tired) that they just "spin out". They are excited to see mom/dad, but have been having fun so they don't want to leave, either. They've been playing so hard, that they are just DONE IN. That tends to manifest as utter meltdowns. It's hard for moms and dads, to see the little person who should be running into their arms having a tantrum. And no less hard for providers!
But consistency, patience and continuing to enforce the house rules (no hitting, no tantrums) will ensure that it gets better eventually.