When parents are bullies!

I have a daycare Mom who made me sooo upset today. I told her that her DD still wouldn’t sit still for story time (she is 2 ½. come June). When I asked her if she reads to her before bed she said no. She has been in my care since she was 1 year.

She knows her ABC’s and can identify all her letters lower case and upper case from me, She knows her colors and 1-10 in numbers.

I told Mom today that she loves it when we do flash cards and she asked me what flash cards? I told her I have several and I use them for all my ages, they have a letter/word and picture on the back. I gear the question I ask to the age of the child etc…

She told me she only has flash cards for her older DD who is 6 and I said then you could use those cards and ask questions for her level. She got sort of angry in saying that she spends most of her time with me and basically its up to me.

WTF so make time for your older child but make it the daycare provider’s responsibility to do all for your younger child?

I am starting to get very confused about what parents today expect of us.

1st feed my child all extremely healthily food because we don’t have time to.

2nd make sure they don’t nap too long as we need them to go to bed on command so we can enjoy our night as a couple.

3rd teach them everything for pre school as we don’t have anytime.

4th they had better learn manners and how to behave because if they don’t its totally your fault.

5th potty train then before 2 as its totally easy

6th you better always treat me like a queen/king because I’m giving you a paycheck

7th are you free to baby sit on Sat night? We really need a night out and you should be available….sooo steaming mad!

I totally know what you mean! I am new in the daycare business but I was a nanny foe YEARS. Nannying is WORSE. Because you're in their house, they expect you to bend over backwards for them and mothers who hire nannies do so because they are controlling. I am opening a daycare because it is going to be my way or the highway. You are doing them a service. You could just as easily find another family who is willing to respect you and appreciate what you do. Don't allow them to bully you. If they want things done their way, get a nanny, and I would tell them that straight to their face. Tell the mom - if you're not willing to help me, I'm not willing to help you. Yes, the child is with you now for the majority of their life but they are still their parents. They need to step in and take responsibilty.

I find this frustrating too. Chances are if a child does really well - knows age appropriate skills, eats well, potty trains before 2, etc - it's not us who gets the credit for it. Too high of expectations come from too many parents these day, IMO.

I TOTALLY hear what you are saying!! When your 2 year old knows the "Donalds!!" sign, that is not on me. Nor is it my fault when he/she knows all the words, to all the songs, to all the shows on Treehouse.
Having said that... reading between the lines here; sounds like mom felt a little threatened and that perhaps you were "telling" her what she should be doing? Feeling guilty about leaving her kids with someone else for a large part of the day? Still no cause to snap at you/take it out on you, though. Grrrrr.

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Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta

I TOTALLY hear what you are saying!! When your 2 year old knows the "Donalds!!" sign, that is not on me. Nor is it my fault when he/she knows all the words, to all the songs, to all the shows on Treehouse.
Having said that... reading between the lines here; sounds like mom felt a little threatened and that perhaps you were "telling" her what she should be doing? Feeling guilty about leaving her kids with someone else for a large part of the day? Still no cause to snap at you/take it out on you, though. Grrrrr.

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Maybe? I was only offering suggestions in a positive light! :( I really was encouraging her to read her DD bedtime stories. I can tell you hands down which kids are used to bed time stories. There the only onces 2 and under who will sit.
This Mom works from home and she likes to brag often to me how she goes to workout class in the am, shopping in the afternoon, hairdresser, etc... and it really errrrks me, then says she never has time for her 2 year old. Why can't we be bold and give positive feedback to aid there development. So from now on I supose I will just not say a word about anything! :( I just don't get this very selfish world?

I have been providing childcare for 20 years and you can TELL the families where the parents work in PARTNERSHIP with their childcare providers to provide consistency between home and program in ALL areas EXCEL in relation to parents who do not ... there is visible differences!

The reality is YES we have them for 10 waking hours a day verses the 4-5 waking hours that parents have their own children and in reality most of those hours are spent traveling too and from daycare, bathing, preparing meals and eating and so forth so therefore a LARGE part of the onus on offering children a head start in the early years falls on us .... however CONSISTENCY in messages is KEY in how children learn to value things so children whose parents ALSO spend some time in the evenings and weekends with their child reading, singing, showing interest in their 'learning' by not only providing them access to things but 'being there' for them are going to VALUE that in our programs ... they will see this is important to their parents too and therefore they are more inclined to 'attend' to them when we offer and therefore master and retain quicker.

For example I had two infants start in my program at the same time and both attended full time 9 hours a day roughly the same drop off and pick up times ... so they had access to the EXACT SAME program from age 1 until they went off to school at age 4 ... if it was ALL on us than those two children should have been EXACTLY the same in school readiness and so forth but they were so DIFFERENT in development and while there is certainly argument for NATURE aka the children had different temperaments and personalities their NURTURE at HOME was vastly different too and that affects their learning or ability to learn!

Child A parents were what I call 'hands on' parents, they got down to the child's eye level when talking and talked the child through things, they asked LOTS of questions around what we were working on and showed interest in the program brought things from home to 'accent' the program and read the calendar and so child never missed show and share day or other activities to tie HOME to the PROGRAM for children, the child was enrolled in ONE extra curricular activity at a time and based on conversations with parents and child as they learned to talk - they were home bodies and spent a lot of time at home in the evening as a family or outside in their large property tending to it while the child played outside with them .... very low stress family orientated lifestyle ... parents were not materialistic folk the child had very few 'toys' and spent a lot of time outside.

Child B parents were what I call the 'busy' parents - they rushed in and out of program because they always had somewhere to 'be' - it was hard to 'share' things about the program with them because they were only half listening due to the rushing, the child was enrolled in at least 4 extra curricular 'enrichment' activities a week being rushed off to this or that and because parents were often busy elsewhere too playing sports and having 'couple time' and so forth extended family or babysitters helped out, the child had EVERY possible toy and gadget out there from Leap pads to Gameboys and so forth ... that type of family where the kid have the 'best' of everything out there.

Can you guess out of those two children whose language excelled, whose social skills excelled, whose independence and problem solving skills excelled, whose imagination was out of this world and was able to play with little to no direction and so forth ... who eagerly attended to formal learning activities in program?

Reggio I love you! Just curious what is your typing spped! LOL

LOL .... last time I was tested about 120 -160 words per minute on the keyboard depending on if you are counting 'typos' as words or not ... not quite so adept on the phone yet though ;)

Oh no! You are so right that we feed the children all their nutrition and SOME parents are using crappy prepackaged sugary sodium filled foods only, SOME think naps affect bedtime, SOME don't spend time teaching and reading to their children, SOME don't teach manners and only teach their children to feel as entitled and spoiled as they are. I'm extremely luck that I don't have those types of parents in my daycare and frankly if I ended up with any they would be gone. I have made a promise to myself NEVER to let anybody treat me badly again as long as I live!

As for potty training, I will NOT start even putting a child on the potty until the parents have made HUGE progress. And lastly, they had better respect me and follow all my rules for a 9 hour max day within my hours of business. I have great families here and I urge you to look for some NOW!

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Originally Posted by Skysue

This Mom works from home and she likes to brag often to me how she goes to workout class in the am, shopping in the afternoon, hairdresser, etc... and it really errrrks me, then says she never has time for her 2 year old. Why can't we be bold and give positive feedback to aid there development. So from now on I supose I will just not say a word about anything! :( I just don't get this very selfish world?

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Nevermind.... she's a bag. :mad: As much as I get that parents are paying us, and that they deserve some "me" time (uh, helloooo, I'm a mom too?!) I have to say that it drives me nuts to hear about the ones that would rather just drop them off at daycare than actually be around them. Of course it's easier to grocery shop without your kids!! But then you miss out on learning opportunities with them ("How many cans do we need? Let's count them!") and if you give your kids some control over what they eat, they usually eat better ("What sort of noodles would you like this week?").
But what do you do, other than try to find families who match up to your own core values, right?
I only suggested that because I know that it's hard to be a working mom and a lot of guilt comes along with it! I thought perhaps she was just a little sensitive/defensive. But nope, sounds like she's just kind of a cow!
:p