For those that have worked outside of home and have been DCP

My home daycare will be opening this fall. Up until now i have been home with my 6 and 3 year old.

I have gone over the debate of opening a daycare vs going back out to the workforce a million times. Daycare has won. I love love love it ( i have been watching 2 other children since my kids were 1 on a part time basis) I want to be partially home for my kids although I know i will no longer be able to go to school functions or hvae days just with them etc. It makes me sad but working outside the home I wouldnt be able to do that either.

My question to make the transition easy for my kids as well. For those that have done both, what role did you honestly see better for your children? working outside the home or having a daycare? what are some areas that I might be sensitive to to make sure my kids dont feel like the world revolves around my DCK and not them?

new to this and just want to make sure i start off on the right foot. and i wouldnt mind hearing from those that have done both and give me an honest answer to which situation they thought worked best for thier family.

Hi There,

I worked in retail for several years and decided to quit and start a home daycare about a year ago. My kids were 4 and 7 at the time. I made sure I had a dedicated play area and my kids "donated" their old toys to the daycare. Their special toys stay upstairs and they know if they come downstairs during daycare hours they are fair game. I also really involved my 7 year old in the process as a "helper" She still loves helping after school. I've built it into her alowance every week. She plays with the little ones, helps with craft time after school and cleans up the daycare room when mommy's just too tired after a long day. And she's compensated for that. Now my youngest (age 5) has caught on and offered to clean up the daycare room at the end of the day too.

I have had my kids in home daycares their entire life. They are happy to have me home. And I make sure I take special days off for their school events like the end of the year school trip and the mothers day morning in kindergarten. We always take time to go to the library and park on Saturday afternoons now so they have their own mommy time.

And when my son gets miserable about having a daycare, I remind him that if mommy worked outside of the house he'd be at someone elses house instead.

I feel the guilt of not having the days and the home just for them, but in working you would feel guilty for being away and having someone else taking care of them. I think by 3 yrs old though, a child is yearning to be with other kids, even by 1 so whether you put them in a good daycare or take in children into your home, it should be a positive addition to their lives nonetheless.
I personally think with a daycare its a lot more work, though it seems that after you do it for a while it does get easier. (Should get easier)
But at the same time I find myself thinking how great it is for the moms that do go back into the workforce, cause they get to come home, leave their work behind and focus purely on their children with an energy of missing them so their children get more undivided quality attention. I don't know if there is really one better then the other. They are both equally good and bad in different ways. So I'm sorry I cannot give a definite answer. I just don't think there can be one.

I agree with the others. It has advantages and disadvantages

I am glad that I can take my own kids to the bus and off the bus and know they are safe and I can hear about their day while everything is fresh in their mind.

My kids were almost the same age as yours when I started and they initially were enthusaistic but now two years later I hear grumbling "why does the daycare have to come to our house?" "Ugh ! The daycare broke what I built", "I wish the daycare wasn't coming", etc etc

Nothing like hearing those things to make you feel like you just can't win.

Working outside was good in a way because I had the adult interaction, made good money and came home to a clean house. I worked 40-45 hours a week and weekends were TOTALLY free and mine...same with evenings

Now I have a messy house half the time and spend a lot of my evenings and weekends cleaning or prepping daycare stuff. I work over 50 hours a week plus probably put in an additional 10 hours on weekends cooking ahead, planning crafts, doing the clean up of the house and laundry that I couldn't do during the week. It is exhausting work.

Also I have noticed that my 5 -almost 6 year old daughter regresses around the daycare kids. She argues with toddlers, sometimes talks to me as though she is a baby and plays with them as though they are her peers rather than her being older. It terrifies me at times.:no:. I am actually looking forward to her going to school full time this fall and being away from the daycare so she can get back to the right path.

It is crazy because I am doing this for my kids but yet they seem to have been affected negatively by the daycare. I don't know if it is because I am putting in so many hours or just of having to share the house and their mom or what. My son got a call home from school that he is not listening/focusing, my daughter is regressing

At the same time I get rave reviews from the daycare parents about how their kids are flourishing here and how happy they are and I can see the kids thrive in front of me. I am not sure what is going on because it is the total opposite of what I wanted. I would rather have my kids thrive and instead it is the daycare kids doing so well, thriving, learning and happy and my own kids are going downhill:crying::cry ing::crying:

I have done both as well. As the Mom working outside of the home I always felt guilty that I didn't spend enough time with my kids. By the time I got home it was dinner, bath, a little time and then off to bed they would go. I was working with children at the time and always thought, why am I paying someone else to watch my child, while I got and work with someone else's??? I didnt make much money where I worked and essentially most of my income went to paying for daycare.

My kids love to be around other children though so I thought it was in their best interests to keep them going to daycare because they seemed happy, and they were thriving and developing. My choice to open my own daycare pretty much happened when both my kids ended up getting sick around the same time. My son was being tested for hemophila (a bleeding disorder) and my daughter had been told that she had a brain tumor (they were wrong it is just a calcium deposit at the back of her eye). Regardless it was scary and my workplace was not understanding about my need for time off to be with them

I quit my job and opened my daycare a couple months later. My daughter now 17 doesn't really care one way or the other. She's good with the daycare kids and likes that I'm around if she needs me afterschool and in the summer. My son on the other hand who will soon be 6 is having a really hard time.

He no longer wants the daycare here, doesn't want to share his mommy and has developed some behavioural issues. He is old enough to understand though that if the daycare kids aren't here Mommy would have to be at work and not at home and he says he doesn't want that either. I think he's at the age where nothing will please him lol

I miss the adult interaction like crazy though. Thank god for facebook and this forum :) Its a hard adjustment to make going from working outside the home to being home pretty much all the time, but for my family it was a good decision. I'm just hoping my son comes around since he's normally such a happy loving child!

I've done both and I have to say, for me, daycare is way better! It is a very tiring job and I am exhausted at the end of the day and then I have to start cooking dinner, baths, all that for my own family. BUT, I would have to do that anyway if I worked outside the home...only I would also have to add the drive to and from work...rushing to drop off and pick up and daycare/school, etc. I make more money than I would if I were working outside the home and paying for daycare, plus I get to be with my kids all day and not worry about whether they are happy, safe, etc. I hated working outside the home and leaving my kids. However, maybe when they are all in school full-time I might feel differently...not sure. Daycare is not for everyone...you have to be organized, patient, calm and very hard-working, but if you are the right kind of person for it, it can be great! Plus, I actually see it as a huge plus for kids to learn to share their mom with other kids...they learn that they are not the centre of the universe. I think kids need to learn that.

I worked out of the home till I had my fourth child and while the oldest two were in school full days I couldn't afford to put the youngest two in daycare. One in daycare took 75% of my pay so I just didn't go back..... Then I had a fifth child so when he was 15 months old I opened my daycare. I haven't had any problems with my children coping with the daycare. I have a designated daycare space and only use the bedrooms for sleeping. All but my youngest are in school all day so they only see the daycare kids in the morning as all but one are gone by the time they get home from school. I can be home for my kids when they are home and my house isn't any messier then when I worked. There will always be housework and laundry and groceries but I can get some of the indoor stuff done in the afternoons while the dcks are napping so I think I'm better off then when I was working out of the home. Plus my boss rocks!

As moms, we will inevitably feel tired and guilty about our choices. I would rather do so in the comfort of my own home! :p

Ladies, I worked outside the home all my life and my four children went to 'babysitters' back in the 80's & 90's. We had good ones and we had very, very bad ones. I WISH that I hadn't been such a ladder climber and wanted to be somebody important in the business world and had realized that I had the best job in the world - MOMMY!

I think you are all wonderful, caring, nurturing, fantastic women who are giving to others and helping others and giving your own children the best experience possible by having their Mommy home with them. Be proud of yourselve no matter what else happens.

@ mom of 4 you're a dc provider now?