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Hi all!
I have a seven month old daughter who doesn't know how to self soothe, I can't just put her down for a nap and let her fall asleep on her own, she will cry until she is sick. I thought that all babies could cry them selves to sleep...but not mine. The longest I've let her cry was 30 mins and that was hard, I want her to be able to know how to calm herself down without me, I have tried almost everything so if anyone could help that would be great!
Thank!:D
What is your child like during the day when it is playtime? Can you put her in an exersaucer or swing or playpen or down on the floor with some toys and walk out of site? If no then this is the place to start. If she can plaly by herself then you can work on sleeping by herself.
Hi Playfelt, She has always been a needy baby, she is good at times with playing by herself, and other times I can't seem to put her down anywhere without crying, and now with starting my daycare, i'm concerned with having to deal with her crying all day long, I know it sounds bad, but I'm just going crazy with her not being able to soothe herself, I can't help but think it was something I did, like, ie. running to her everytime she was crying. She just wants to be held 24/7 and I can't do that! She's great playing on the floor with toys and in her exercaucer but for only short periods of time.
Increasing the length of time before you respond might help. There will be tears but they should lesson over time. You might find you need to not even be in the room with her or you may find as long as she can see you she is fine which would be ideal a sit means you can care for the other children. From a daycare perspective we get a lot of children that have been held and coddled to the point their every whim was met and they get a rude awakening when they start daycare. It isn't that we mean to ignore them it is just that out of a 60 minute hour each child gets no more than 10 minutes of individual time and that includes diapering. There is a lot of screaming for the first while but amazingly most come around quite quickly. The difference is I am not mom so the child has not learned bad habits with me so to speak. For that reason I start right from the beginning to treat the child in the routine that will fit with the group. Hopefully once you have the distraction of the other children your child will get more interested in them than you. Once she is more mobile too that helps.
I would visit a few playgroups and gradually get your child interested in other children. Then when you have them at home she might be more receptive to being with them instead of you.
It is important as the parent to distinguish between need and want. Just because she wants to be held all the time doesn't mean it is a good thing and should be done whether there are tears or not. Remember that tears are a baby's language - if basic needs for food, diaper, short cuddle have been met then think of the tears as equivalent to a tantrum - gets easier to ignore sometimes that way.
This exactly! You need to let her have her tantrums and know that she is not the 1 in charge. Even at this age, they know how to play mom and dad and will do it to their advantage.Quote:
Originally Posted by playfelt
Thanks so much Playfelt!:) As i'm writing this she is crying in her excersaucer..lol. but it's I'M DONE COME GET ME CRY..lol and i'm trying to ignore..its so hard I hate this part :) but i'm sure we will get through it! Thanx for the good advice!
The first few days - weeks will be the hardest but the more consistent you are the sooner she will get the message that no amount of protest is going to change the new rules. In the end you will both be happier and enjoy your time together because it will be because you want to be holding her and not because you have to hold her. Her world will expand too as she spends more time exploring and less time protesting. Good luck to you both.