Worst day so far...

First I apologize if this is all over the place.. but I need to vent to people who may understand.

Okay, so I just finished the worst week/day I have had since opening my daycare. Besides my daughter acting up and thinking that my disciplining her was funny, I had one of the twins bite three different children today! To make things even worse, pick up was a bit chaotic today as I had the kids outside playing with the water table, two parents came at the exact same time and both wanted to know how their child's day was while I was trying to watch the children with the water. So, in the chaos, I forgot to tell one of the parents that their child was bitten.
As I was talking to the parent of the biter, the parent whose child was bitten called me to inform me her child had a bite mark on his hand. Oops!
I feel horrible! This child has only been here for two weeks and he has already been bitten twice! Once by each twin. The parents of the new boy are not sure if they are keeping the boy with me as I am a possible temporary care person as his other provider is on bed rest due to an injury. This boy is soo sweet, has not done anything to provoke being bitten, and I would really love it if he stayed with me. Not looking so good for me now!
I called the twins' mother and told her that the twins are now on their last straw here in regards to their biting. I asked that they use time outs on top of their discipline (they spank), so that it is consistent. I felt soo bad talking to her, as she was upset, but really what can I do? The parents of the children who are getting bit, are upset (as they should be). I feel like I'm not doing my job properly as it keeps continuing, but honestly, they bite so randomly while playing that I would have to stay beside them both the entire day. They aren't angry, fighting or frustrated or even provoked when they do it. I think they just get excited or something and then bite.
So, moving forward, these two now have to be with me at all times. If Im perparing meals, then they are in their boosters. I'm not sure what else I can do?
Am I over reacting? Are the parents over reacting? How long do you let biters stay in your care?

On Tuesday, I will have to talk to the mom of the child who was bitten and apologize for my dropping the ball on telling them their son got bite and let her know that I am taking steps towards trying to curb this behaviour.
Ugh... I hate this part of the job. :(

I had a bad day today too, so it must be in the air! How old are the biters? It is pretty common and normal for toddlers to bite. I have a couple of biters in my daycare now and I have to watch them like a hawk and take them with me if I leave the room. Time-outs are given as well, but I have never found them to be very effective for biting. At the age they are, I think it normal...not terminating worthy unless combined with other factors. Chin up! Relax and breath. It is not the end of the world...these things happen. My own son once bit another child and drew blood in his daycare...and he was not a biter!

They are young, 16 months old. I agree that it is normal, and it has been good for a while. I just hate that the other parents are getting mad. I may email the mom of the biters and see if I can back peddle a bit... I'll have to think about it. It has been going on for quite a while on and off. I just dont want to look wishy washy. lol Ugh... yay for bad days!

As weird as this sounds I have a child that only bites when constipated - she is 2 1/2 and was never a biter as a baby/toddler only in the last 6 months. This is at daycare as well as to her older sister at home so we have to compare poop notes to know when she needs to be monitored constantly and when we can slaken up a bit. Have never heard of there being a connection before. Assuming it is just a child not feeling up to par that gets overly annoyed and reacts in that way.

Biting till words come along is very normal albeit annoying. There is very little you can do because it happens so fast.

One of the things I did note in what you wrote was that the new child may not be staying and it will have nothing to do with the biting but with how fast their previous caregiver recovers. The biting might help them to make up their mind but likely won't be the reason they leave. I mention this because you are talking about releasing the twins that would be three people gone in a short space of time so take that into consideration before letting emotions take over.

Is there any connection to the fact the boys are twins. Does the one bite a child that the other twin was playing with instead of the twin as in is it done out of jealousy but a feeling horded up and only acted on as the opportunity arises. So therefore nothing seen to provoke the attack but what did provoke it was when they were all playing nicely earlier and the twins were doing different activities but possibly the one twin was feeling left out and jealous even if they were playing just fine with a toy in another area of the room. Might be worth keeping notes on who plays with whom when and any emotions you sense. Getting language helps a lot with the biting but it is also common for twins to talk late and have their own type of language with each other they don't share with the outside world.

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Originally Posted by Ashleigh

ter table, two parents came at the exact same time and both wanted to know how their child's day was while I was trying to watch the children with the water. So, in the chaos, I forgot to tell one of the parents that their child was bitten.
As I was talking to the parent of the biter, the parent whose child was bitten called me to inform me her child had a bite mark on his hand. :(

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Something I do is have a cheap notebook for each child that goes back & forth. Pick ups get crazy & I forget to tell things, so if I simply jot it down through the day as I think of it...it's easier. Good luck with the biting:)

I have a bitter too and she’s around the same age. Mine has done some serious damage, she bit a child on the eye and left a nasty mark it caused swelling thank God it didn’t break the skin. I have never had to deal with this before, so I truly sympathize with you. She also bit the same child on the hand and left a bruise.

You feel like the parent’s question where you are when it occurs and ½ the time it’s so out of the blue that you literally need eyes in the back of your head.

My suggestion is put the twins in a playpen when you are making snacks & lunch that’s what I do. They’re going to hate it but the other kids are safe! lol

Little Tip: One of the little ones 12/13mos at our playgroup has started biting for "fun". We all watch him like a hawk and yesterday I caught him going in for a innocent girls arm, Well the other 15+ kids got scared as I yelled very loudly "**** don't you dare!!" he looked up and smiled. Grrrr Well 10 min later he ended up getting that little girl :( anyways........one of the providers said to put a good thick amout of diaper cream on it, within 20min the marks were gone!! Like Magic! FYI....but I hope you wont have to use it!

Oh and after he did bite her he was strapped into the stroller (or highchair if at home) and turned towards the wall...(but we can see him) so he can't see any of the fun. He was not happy, but neither are we with this happening every week!

Thanks everyone. I sent the mother an email this morning explaining my thoughts a bit better to her. I really hate talking on the phone so I just sent her an email saying that in no way did I want to terminate and that I am taking steps to prevent further incidents.
The boys bite for no reason. I was changing my sons diaper and one of the boys just grabbed his arm and went to bite it. They do it when frustrated sometimes, but mostly when they are playing. I think they get caught up in what they are doing and just bite (whether out of excitement or what, Im not sure).
Im going to talk to the mom of the bitten boy on Tusday when they come and explain my self then. Im not going to start beating myself up over this (which I pretty much did all Friday). :(
Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I just feel that this reflects on my ability to watch for the children. They are quick little buggers and most of the time I can stop them before they bite, but yesterday they got the best of me!

I have noticed more issues with kids whose parents play and tease with them such as giving them raspberries on their tummies or arms. The kids don't understand the intensity issue nor do they have the mouth coordination to do it properly so end up grabbing on with their teeth and then the natural ooooh this feels good takes over and they bite. Does explain some of what goes on when they do it for what they think is fun as in they may truly think they are playing and not intending to hurt.

I have the same issue with parents that play wrestle with the kids. The kids do not understand that we pick them up and "slam" them down gently not for real. Once parents realize siblings especially are getting mixed signals about what is ok and what is not it actually got better.

This is interesting...I'll have to see if I see that link with the biters in my care. I've played that way with all three of my kids (raspberries, etc) and none of them has become a biter (although my youngest tried biting a few times...then decided to start biting herself when she got mad). I do agree that sometimes they are doing it not out of anger, but just as an experimentation thing and they have no concept that it hurts. I have one 16 month old who wrestles his friends to the ground with hugs and lies on top of them...he did it a lot when he first started with me at 12 months, but rarely does it now as I have consistently stopped him and told him his friends don't like it...he had no idea there was anything wrong with his behaviour. I'm thinking the parents find it cute and funny and since he wasn't in a group of kids all day, it wasn't a huge issue. Parents with first children especially tend to think everything their little ones do is cute and funny...even if they are being agressive.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

I have noticed more issues with kids whose parents play and tease with them such as giving them raspberries on their tummies or arms. The kids don't understand the intensity issue nor do they have the mouth coordination to do it properly so end up grabbing on with their teeth and then the natural ooooh this feels good takes over and they bite. Does explain some of what goes on when they do it for what they think is fun as in they may truly think they are playing and not intending to hurt.

I have the same issue with parents that play wrestle with the kids. The kids do not understand that we pick them up and "slam" them down gently not for real. Once parents realize siblings especially are getting mixed signals about what is ok and what is not it actually got better.

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