Is this normal preemie behaviour or could there be something wrong?

I have a preemie (2 months premature) in care and have had him for almost 3 months now. For the most part he is great but wondering if some of his actions are normal for a preemie or if they are cues of something else. He definitely has that preemie/down syndrome look to him. He is pretty tiny...14 months and only weighing about 15 pounds. It's hard to get him to eat a lot of foods and the Dr has now referred him to a nutritionist because of it.

He seems to be way behind my other dcb who is the same age as him but I was chalking it up to him being a preemie. I expect him to be behind a bit. I would say he is at the level of a 10 or 11 month old. He is very spastic with his hands. He constantly sends food flying and I've noticed he has started hitting himself in the face too and it doesn't seem to phase him when he does this. He always seems like he has to be moving in some form. If he's in his booster chair at the table either his hands are constantly moving or his legs are kicking. When he is on the floor he is constantly in motion (which I guess is normal). He is no were near walking and when you have him standing or he pulls himself up on something, all he does is bounce...no trying to walk at all. He doesn't talk at all...or at least I haven't heard him saying any words. He will squeal with excitement and such but no real words and not a lot of babbling either.

So, I guess what I'm wondering is if all these things are considered "normal" for him? Being so spastic with his hands and not hitting his face I guess is my biggest concern.

It is so hard to determine 'normal' .... every premie I have had in care while 'tiny' and often riddled with breathing/asthma type issues from under developed lungs has reached the normal developmental milestones on par with other kids because 'development' of that sort begins the moment they are outside the womb and exposed to 'life experiences' that result in social, emotional, cognitive, physical and so forth development.

My own brother was born VERY premature back in the time when this was often a 'death sentence' .... he was jaundice, weighed like 3 pounds, his one lung collapsed during birth and so forth ... however when you look at photos from him back than at 3 months he looked 'normal' just petite but by 9 months of age you would not have known he was a preemie ~ he was the same weight as my cousin who was born 2 weeks before him, he was cruising furniture already and so forth ~ basically once he was out of the womb he quickly 'caught up' because my mother did not treat him any differently than my aunt treated her child.

I have noticed that with SOME preemies or any infant born with 'adversity' in their health .... they are often behind not because of the 'experience' of being born early or with health issues but because their parents 'baby' them way more than children who are born 'full term and healthy' ... meaning that if the benchmark of 'normal' is that you can be sitting unassisted by 6 months than most parents start at about 5 months to engage baby in play activities that support them sitting so they can meet that benchmark but because the preemie is tiny and the parents tend to think of them as well he is only 'really 4 months old' cause he was 2 months premature at 6 months are still 'holding and carrying and protecting the neck' and all the things you do with a 4 month old so therefore the neck and abdominal muscles that WOULD develop just like in a full term infant do not because of lack of 'experience' because their parent is preventing it by their actions and lack of experience for the child ~ hope that makes sense?

Another example of 'normal development' ... I had a child start once who at 3 year olds was still 'crawling' up and 'bumping down on her bum' when using the steps ~ so while this was not normal IMO this was NORMAL to the child cause she had never been allowed any other way as her parent who did not feel confident in allowing her 'walk' up and down kept her in the stage of a 15 month old ... so the kid was amendment she was not 'capable' of doing it any other way initially ~ I had to work past the PARENTS FEAR to get the child to see herself as a competent capable climber as well as the kids using positive peer pressure of see 'X can do it and he is only 1 years old' because I start encouraging them to 'walk' at 16 months because I do not want them knocking each other over bumping down on their bums it is easier to teach them single file, holding the rail, walking one step at a time so once they are competent walkers THIS is how we use the stairs!

I'm not much help.....I'm not sure...my nephew was also 2 months premature and now at exactly 12mos is 25lbs and almost my 2.5 year old's height!! He's a BIG boy...so mybe it's not a "preemie" thing but just a "HIM" thing?

I don't have experience with preemies, but i have a dcb in my care who is not a preemie and not tiny, but is 17 months and a lot like you mentioned! He isn't walking and I think it is months away still...he doesn't have any words that I have heard (except "uh-oh") and pretty much acts and looks like a 11-12 month old. I have 2 other kids who are only a month older, but about 6 months older in their behaviour. He is progressing, so I figure eventually he will catch up, but it probably comes partly from genetics and partly from his life experience at home (quite babied). Normal is a very relative term!

I have two children in my daycare who were over 2 months premature. They have both caught up and are doing great. The boy started here at 10 months of age and his parents kept telling me, well really, he's only 8 months so they didn't try to get him to do ANYTHING! So as he reached his first birthday I was getting him to eat normal table food, learn to hold his bottle and sippy cup, and other things I expect from a 12 month old. He didn't walk for a long time though, but now he's 20 months and talking and all caught up. My main issue is the parents who don't expect anything of him. How is he supposed to learn if we don't encourage him? Oy!!!

My 4 year old girl caught up even faster than this boy because her Mom listened to my advice and encouraged her daughter to learn. This little girl was on a puffer for underdeveloped lungs when she was 1 & 2 and is now the fastest runner in my group. I swear, she should train for the Olympics in a few years.

Don't be afraid to tell the parents to help you teach and encourage their son and let them know he's healthy, because it may take several months before you are able to diagnose any other conditions that you suspect. I wouldn't mention those, but that's just me. I would watch him closely and give the parents gentle hints.

I agree! Yes this baby was born early but (within reason) they should be treated like all the others! My SIL is pretty bad though, all I hear is "oh I haven't tried that because he's a preemie" I was worried because he's a Preemie" I finally said DUDE, you're kid is huge, healthy and doing everything according to his age. Stop holding him back! She agreed...just no one had ever put it that way to her, even the Dr babied him KWIM?

All 5 of my kids were preemies. My kids are smaller (but I am only 4'11).

You can suggest that he sees a developmental pediatrician for and eval.to get better idea. Statistically, preemies are more likely to have delays and issues than full term peers. The good news is with all of the therapy that is out there, if there is an issue most likely there will be something to help.

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

I agree! Yes this baby was born early but (within reason) they should be treated like all the others! My SIL is pretty bad though, all I hear is "oh I haven't tried that because he's a preemie" I was worried because he's a Preemie" I finally said DUDE, you're kid is huge, healthy and doing everything according to his age. Stop holding him back! She agreed...just no one had ever put it that way to her, even the Dr babied him KWIM?

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Totally, doctors stop counting ages as 'adjusted' at their second birthday. Let the child be the guide by labeling him and limiting him no one is doing this kid any favors

Ya, I try to make him do the same sort of things the other do. I got him to hold his own bottles and cups. I hope he catches up soon. He's a pretty happy go lucky guy though.

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Originally Posted by mamaof4

Totally, doctors stop counting ages as 'adjusted' at their second birthday. Let the child be the guide by labeling him and limiting him no one is doing this kid any favors

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Good to know this is a rule of thumb for doctors, because I thought the parents were just making excuses for all the things their child does to make me nuts! LOL!