My darling 3 year old

:eek:Hi guys,

I need your advice once more. It seems lately like I am constantly butting heads with my 3 year old girl. If it's not a fight for something as simple as having more or less milk with in her cup or about the colour of the lids it's about some other issue about ofcourse getting what she wants, when she wants and then when the answer is no ... HELLOOOOOOOOOOO Tantrum !! I know it's 'normal" behaviour but I tought that was the terrible two phase ? She turned 3 in april and altought she did not have much tantrums when she was 2. Are these frequent little fights normal at her age? She does communicate well now but she is also not potty trained. Could this be just that she is still just a bit immature in that regards ? She was born prematurely but never really seemed to affected by it. She was always borderline on her development. Anyways when she does start a fight she does get a time out in her room as the screaming is just unbearable, she gets faire warning to correct herself when I see she is about to explode but wow sometimes I could really lose it myself. She goes to her room and will scream for 30 minutes!!! I do beleive I have been consitant but I need a new strategy. It has been going on for 2 months now I would say and I see no improvement. Otherwise, she is fine, no violent behavior, plays well with others...I need the outsider opinion or simply to be reassured that I'm not alone

Thanks guys !

These little people are so smart and know exactly how to push their mother's buttons and manipulate them into getting their own way. You betcha! It's really difficult to stand your ground over and over and not give in. I know. But it's worth it to put in the effort for a few really hard months of standing your ground until they learn that no matter what they do they will not get their way with bad behaviour.

A 3 year old child understands exactly what is happening but you as the Mom have to remember that your child is rationalizing things with a 3 year old brain, which is completely different than the way we understand. You have to stop and tell them at their level, NOT at your level, why things are the way they are in THEIR world, you know?

Good luck! I have 4 of those little mosters!

Thanks Momof4 !! I feel like I"m doing something wrong but I can't figure out what. I guess it is the phase and just gotta keep at it. It did kinda catch me of guard cause she his really polite, usually calm, gentle and was very reasonable. I keep thinking ...OMG I went wrong somewhere since I can't see any improvement. I know they can be very persistant. I usually try to give her some choices which can prevent the tantrum but sometimes there is just no way garound it. She fights bed time, getting dressed, diaper change, meal time, teeth brushing, bath ... By the end of the day I feel like Sgt. Mommy lol

Phew! I'm not alone! My sweet 2 year old that never fought our bedtime routine etc....where did he go? Now it's big boy 3 year old who is all about "I do it myself!". Mine is a screamer/screecher (when he's happy or mad)....sometimes it feels as though my eardrums are going to explode. No amount of timeouts, quiet reasoning, positive or negative reinforcement has quelled this. But, I keep chanting to myself "this too shall pass".

My son is full out in the midst of his terrible twos. However, my daughter didn't go through that phase at all until she was 4! I refer to them as the F%&#ing Fours LOL. She suddenly became very resistant and i foudn the best strategy was to stay incredibly god-like calm, remove her from the situation to the staircase and say "When you are ready to use your words and talk to me, you may come off the stairs". Then I would turn around and continue on with whatever I was doing. Sometimes it took longer than others, but I used the same approach every single time and it eventually stopped. When she was ready to talk I would use language like "I could see that you were very upset, can you use your words to tell me why you were upset?" "When we get upset we need to talk in a big girl voice and use our words. It is not ok to scream. Thank you for calming down and talking to me nicely"

Thanks for that Lou. It' so silly but if a child from daycare would have acted up I would of tought it's normal and would be dealing with it the exact same way than what I am doing now. But sometimes as a parent it's different. You are in it and you just cant see it objectively until someone tells you.

Cheers to all of us parents with busted eardrums !!

Oh I know, it seems SOOOOO different with your own kids!!! For whatever reason I can remain completely calm with my childcare kids but when it comes to my son (the one now in terrible twos!!), I feel like I'm going to lose my mind on him 99% of the time!!! He (and all kids) responds so much better to calm, respectful approaches though. I totally feel you!!!

I agree I do beleive in a calm and respecful approache. What's the saying again ...? You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Gentle persuasion works better than hostile confrontation that's for sure. Maybe I should just make the kids paint a big honey pot and keep it by her bedroom door:p