Interrupting/attention hog

We have 7 year old and 3 year old sons. My 7 year old has always just been awful when he is not the center of attention and now his brother is learning his tricks. We are firm, loving, consistent parents who give so much (time, energy, love) to our children...so often to the detriment of our relationship (we are both so exhausted once they go to bed). I have no idea when the last time I have had an uninterrupted conversation (phone or in person) with anyone; let alone my husband (while the kids are awake, that is). Today, I was that parent hiding in the closet trying to have a conversation with my financial planner...and I'll be darned if a screaming match between the two brothers didn't occur right outside the closet door (2 floors up from where I left them happily playing!). I just don't get it? Forget about if anyone comes to visit...I have never seen such demon children. Advice?

Dont have a tone of advice........but when I read your thread......laughed! :laugh: Pictured a Mom hiding in a closet just to have a convo with financial planner. Like a picture from a movie. I only laughed because I too can be a mom who feels like the only way to get a solid convo with anyone is to hide behind a closed door. I guess thats called "parenthood". Can barely handle my 11 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son these days. Argue all day some times. Heard a friend talking once about what she and her hubby do, thought wow that sounds nice. They have coffee together in the kitchen every day @ 5pm, supper is going, kids are playing or watching a show. the rule is, no one is allowed to bother then during that time. We do that early in the morning on weekends while the kids are still sleeping. LOVE IT! :glomp: When you have kids, you have to take what you can get.

I know! It was nice & quiet in the closet (for 2 seconds, that is!).

Simple - don't let them do it. They are both old enough to understand the concept of not interrupting. Tell them that they have to say, "excuse me", or they will not be answered. Teach them that when you are talking, that interrupting you will result in them being ignored and sent into the other room, or sat on the bottom stair (or whatever your version of time out is).

The boys are also old enough to understand that you need mommy time, or mommy and daddy time. This is just a habit that's been reinforced, and likewise, you can reinforce the changes. They can "read" for half an hour before bed for wind-down time, and that gives you and hubby extra time alone together. Their bedtimes can be bumped.

Kudos to you for being such a hands on mom. I am a firm believer that attachment and responding to needs in the early years creates trust and fosters later independence, but you have to have your own identity outside of just being the boys' mother. Cut yourself a break! :)

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

Simple - don't let them do it. They are both old enough to understand the concept of not interrupting. Tell them that they have to say, "excuse me", or they will not be answered. Teach them that when you are talking, that interrupting you will result in them being ignored and sent into the other room, or sat on the bottom stair (or whatever your version of time out is).

The boys are also old enough to understand that you need mommy time, or mommy and daddy time. This is just a habit that's been reinforced, and likewise, you can reinforce the changes. They can "read" for half an hour before bed for wind-down time, and that gives you and hubby extra time alone together. Their bedtimes can be bumped.

Kudos to you for being such a hands on mom. I am a firm believer that attachment and responding to needs in the early years creates trust and fosters later independence, but you have to have your own identity outside of just being the boys' mother. Cut yourself a break! :)

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Thanks Alphagetti! These kids are amazing kids in a one-on-one situation. I admit; we have gotten to the point of utter frustration & exhaustion. Being consistent and forging through to the end result is a long and tiring battle sometimes...I think we have just raised the white flag and surrendered to just having our conversations when they are asleep. And that is so wrong; I know that. We clearly need to armour up and stay strong. Kids seem to inately know when you are at your most vulnerable!