A vent- with questions- need suggestions

I have a 14 month old dcg that started this week. In the interviews, mom said she wasn't a good eater and was working on getting her to sleep thru the night. On the first day, she cried for a bit but then was fine. She slept for half an hour all day. She has cried more and more every day, to the point of exhaustion (and mine too). She staggers around and trips over her own feet from being so tired and crying but refuses to sleep!. She can't self soothe and just screams in the crib til you pick her up. When you try to hold her or rock her to sleep, she just thrashes around. She wants to be held all the time, yet she still cries as you are holding her. Yesterday, She cried for 4 of the 8 hours she was here. Today she has cried 5 of the 6 hours she has been here.

I really like the child (and the parents- I'v known them for 15 yrs) and i know it is normal for some children to take time to adjust so i am really trying my best here. You'd think after having 2 kids of my own that i would have a handle on this right? LOL. I know she got her 1 yr needles on Monday morning and at this age teething is a possibility but what on earth can i do that i haven't already done? I have texted the mom to throw more suggestions at me but she hasn't answered my texts. I've held off because the mom is a worrier by nature but her baby needs to sleep. Help me out!

Personally IMO at that age sleeping is not an OPTION!

If she is not able to self soothe and is 'thrashing' while you try to help her to soothe by rocking or rubbing her back I would take a very big blanket and swaddle her like you do a new born so that the fabric is tucked behind and wont come loose if she wiggles to give her no choice but for her body to be in a still position so that she can learn she needs to be 'still' to fall asleep and than you can just lay her down and either rub her back and sing her a soothing song and show her how to 'fall asleep' on her own ... each day spend less time 'soothing' her until you are able to lay her down and she goes on her own.

The first time she might 'scream' IME once they realize that 'hey this is warm and secure' she will calm down and fall asleep and likely sleep for hours .... eventually she will not need the swaddling because she will 'learn' to trust you and not be so overtired as to not be able to self soothe.

I had an 12 month old start last year and the swaddling worked wonders for him ... he is an awesome sleeper now.

The also sell 'sleep sacks' on the market that work for all ages as well although blankets are in the house and free ;)

http://www.babyinabag.com/?gclid=COP...FUMTNAodv34Ajw

agree with reggio: it really could be that she is a bit "overactive" I have noticed that kids who seem a little more on the busy side during the day have a harder time to relax, or she could be an uptight personality...or both. either way I have done the very same thing for little screamers and squirmers, you wrap them real tight and snuggly and before you know it ..."they calm down" I will also do this sometimes with screamers with out a blanket just by holding their arms down and keeping them still until their fit or upset moment is over. Alot of times it seems these kind of characters need an "extra reminder" to relax and calm down. It's like they get into their own little world of frustration and loose all ability to focus on the fact they are dead tired.

I have a screamer at nap time right now. He's been here a week and a half. He was sleeping well at night for mom and dada, but lately he's been doing the "i want to be rocked to sleep" thing. Mom says she puts him down and walks away. But nap time here or at home is useless. He will scream and jump for 2 hours if I let him. So today I decided I'm just gonna let him. He yelled and jumped for 20 min, went to sleep and slept for an hour. A good start in my opinion.

I agree with the swaddling too...or you can put a lid on the playpen so they can't stand up and have no choice but to sit or lay down. This works too.

If thr child wants to be held all the time it's likely what happens at home... She cries they pick her up .... Babies are smart little people ... We just had a thread about this regarding letting a child cry it out or not ... I believe in letting them cry it out , I did it for my own children and I have had to do it with a few dcks as well ...I find if you go back in it just makes it worse and it seems to work better if you just leave them. As for the rest of the day I would just sit on the floor with the baby beside me and some toys and encourage her to play and as time goes on inch away . You can also play "here I am" by stepping out of sight for a second or two and then popping back in view saying here I am so the child knows you will come back .. You can also do that with a blanket sitting on the floor.... I'm sure the ladies on here will have lots of other suggestions ... But if you can get her to sleep that would be a good start.......oh I just remembered one little dcg I had here that wouldn't sleep here, mom sent her own pillow case to put in the playpen and that way baby could smell mom and it worked like a charm. Good luck

Sometimes it takes weeks or months to get a child to settle in. Put yourself in her little shoes. Everything and everybody around her are new and strange. It takes time and all children are different, some like swaddling, some need their space. Best of luck to you.

At her age I would put her on a schedule and stick to it. I would expect her to protest it. She has a right to her opinion. At my house her schedule would be a morning nap from arrival until nine a.m. and then an afternoon nap from 12:15 to 2:45. I would pop her into her bed with her belly full, diaper changed, outdoor time under her belt before the afternoon nap, and a rockin floor based play program in the morning.

As long as I know I did all of the above I would gladly lay her down on that schedule and not waiver from it because she said no to it. She's a baby and doesn't know what is best for her. I'm an experienced child care provider and a full grown adult...... I know what's best for her.

Have confidence in yourself and be open to a baby having a different opinion. They surely will and they have every right to it. Don't take her protesting personally. Don't try to interfere with her protesting. I personally wouldn't hold her at ALL off of the floor. I would only hold her when I was sitting on the floor and would NOT walk her around or rock her. I would make sure I held her at the same amount I held all the other kids but no more or no less. Just the same.

She's in group care now so the adult won't replicate what she has in one to one parental care. She's a human baby and she can adapt back and forth from one to one parental care to group "others" care when given the opportunity to and the expectation to.