Gift Giving Appreciation

Like most, I was raised that when I received a gift, or my child does we say "thank you" Kind of a no brainer you would think right? Well, I have noticed during my 7 years as a provider that I have rarely received a thank you for a gift. Seriously!!!:confuse d: I give the kids gifts on their birthdays and at Christmas. Gift costs are usually around $15.00 and are accompanied with a card from the dollar store. I do try and find a gift appropriate for each child and their current interest.
The d/c families I have had and have I would say are mostly very good. They are well spoken successful people who have admirable important jobs - so how come they lack manners.
They take the gift home with a smile and that is the last I hear of it. I don't want some one to fall all over me with thanks, but at least an acknowledgement the child liked the gift and a thank you would suffice:no:
My husband shakes his head at me and says to stop the gift giving, but I care about my kids and I love giving them a gift to celebrate them.
I have asked the parents, after days of waiting for them to acknowledge the gift, if xxxx like the gift and I have gotten comments of "huh , what ohhhh yea, he/she did" and thats the forced acknowledgement. I have gotten used to it and put up with it because like I said I do it for the kids, but REALLY?
When ever I have received a gift from the parents at Christmas I always give a verbal and written thank you. Their gifts are generous and I like to show my appreciation, but no one follows my example. So, I am just curious if this just pertains to me or have any of you had this odd experience with ingratitude.;)

Wow.....I've never had that happen. Most of my clients, past and present, pretty much fell all over themselves with gratitude (the women more so than the men). I'm sure that's left you with some hurt feelings....very strange. I've always had kids open at daycare. When mom comes, they're super excited to show off the gift, so parents get the picture of how important that gift is to them.

I have to say, you're very generous! I acknowledge birthdays with a cake, but no gifts. I do get presents at Xmas with a $12 limit, no card. I also have the kids do a 'Secret Santa' so everyone has a couple gifts to open without me paying out a fortune.

I have a party when I give the kids their xmas gifts. That way the parents see and say thank you right away! lol

For bday gifts, I give it to them at pick-up when their parents are picking them up. Again, they usually say Thank you, as I'm right there.

Yes this has happened to me a few times. "Gift Giving" may be your love language, or one of them. Being your love language you do it with the deepest amount of thought and the gift really comes from your heart. Maybe these "no thank-you-ers" don't speak the smae "love language", so to them, a gift is a gift is a gift! ha ha OR and this is a big OR.......most kids today are so "spoiled" they get and are given sooooooo much by their parents that it is just one more "given" thing, so they don't even acknowledge your "care"......OR.....m ost people just don't use their manners or teach their children to use their manners. Either way....know how you feel!!! :)

We do it because we want to, not because we'll get a "Thanks", I have to remind myself after an ungrateful kid leaves the party I just threw him, or I do something "out of my way" for a parent...and they just walk out the door, like it was owed to them. I did it because I wanted to. :)

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Originally Posted by kidlove

....We do it because we want to, not because we'll get a "Thanks", I have to remind myself after an ungrateful kid leaves the party I just threw him, or I do something "out of my way" for a parent...and they just walk out the door, like it was owed to them. I did it because I wanted to. :)

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I agree with this sentiment as well ~ when I do things with the children it is because it brings ME joy to see them having that experience ... gratitude from the client is just a bonus ... plus I always get a thank you in the program because I have instilled this value HERE regardless of what is taught at home so children just naturally say thank you when someone does something 'nice' they even say it to each other in their play.

That said ~ I have stopped giving the children 'gifts' of commercial things despite being 'thanked' for the gifts I did not feel they were being truly appreciated either by the child or the client cause they never remembered the gift 2-3 days later so WHY waste that money? As mentioned sometimes I think that in today's day kids have SO MUCH that they no longer appreciate something 'new' and just well expect it like their morning breakfast it is just part of the daily routine to be getting something 'new' and so often I see kids come with something 'new' and by lunch time they have forgotten all about it ~ literally I have done experiments with this and taken the new thing and put it in a cupboard and the kids have NEVER asked about it and neither has the parent both forgotten that they spent $30-40 on something and than its just gone from their mind ... honestly as a child I knew every single toy I had, where its home was in my room and if someone had TOUCHED it I knew ... but I was lucky if I had a dozen 'possessions' to my name!

So last year I just 'stopped' doing gifts ... at Christmas we went out as a group and bought toys for the Angel tree one for a girl and one for a boy and they donated those to the tree and we also sent a child to 'school' in Africa through the donation online ... these were my gifts to them and it gave me great joy to experience that with them much more than any gift I have ever bought them ~ the conversations around what to get someone and choosing between did we want to buy an animal for a family in Africa or did we want to send a little one to school and conversations we had about why sending someone to school would mean more was awesome!

Birthdays we celebratte the 'child' ... no gifts.

Times like Halloween, Valentines, Easter and so forth we celebrate the occasion and do some crafts, baking of treats and so forth so it is the 'experience' that they enjoy and not the commercial treats and so forth.

kidlove, thanks for presenting this in a different light for me ! I do understand your perspective and will adopt it :) Reggio, that is a great idea about giving to disadvantaged children and involving the kids in this at Christmas. I am going to do this and get the parents involved. Perhaps asking them to bring a gift for the womens shelter instead of another box of chocolates (though I appreciate the gesture) for me. Thanks guys, I feel better:thumbsup:

I'm with Reggio. I do not do gifts either. I normally do some special treat for their birthdays, and for Christmas I was going to do something for charity as well instead of gifts. My family adopted a family last year instead of exchanging gifts and we plan on doing it again this year, so I will get the children involved in that. Other than that, we just celebrate holidays with special treats and crafts.

Careful with the "donations" approach....you will still have a lesson in "doing it because you want to and not for any other reason" I tried that a few years and ended up a little angry because so few of my parents took part, I tried giving them each a member of a family to buy for (like the angel tree) but its a whole family, a few of the families didn't partake (forgot :() so I had to go out a purchase all their gifts for them. Another year, we supplied Christmas dinner for families, and also had "partial participation" ended up buying alot of the meal myself. I have found in life......a lot of "what matters most" to me...doesn't seem to "matter most" to others. Don't stop if you want to do a donation of some sort, just don't forget...you may have to cover a lot yourself, due to parents not thinking the same way as you. :(