Getting children to be more independant

Hi guys ! It's almost Friday !!!

So, I have a question. Currently I have 3 children one 2 year old boy and 2x 20 month old boy and girl. I also have my own a 3.5 year old and my 20 month old. By January I will have 2 more 12 month old. So I will have a very full house.

I would really like to get my toddlers as independant as possible without pressuring them of course. I am currently teaching them to wash hands, to undress themselves when we come from outdoors and putting their clothes away. For the most part they are responding well but I find that some especialy my boys are sometimes not really responding. Do you have any tricks you use to get your kids as independant as they can be ? What else do you get them to do on their own ? The two little 20 month old girls are not potty trained but they are using the potty here and there when we change diapers so hopefully potty trainning will come easy when they get there. The 2 year old boy is nowhere interested at this time.

As for my own 3.5 ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG ! She knows how to dress herself and she can ... but most of the time she will fight it and ask me to do it. I ask her to try and then tell me if she needs help and the I go to her when she does. However, somedays I am really in a rush to get them out the door ... how do you get them to cooperate whitout turning into world war 2 ? :) I understand that she sees me dressing all these other small kids and she wants the same attention but I need her to understand she does get attention in some otherways and it's fun beeing able to dress yourself.

So thanks in advance for any advice you might have to offer

Oh I feel and understand your situation. When I first started I had one 2 year old and two 1 year old and the two school aged kids 4 and 5. It was such a rush and sometimes complete chaos to get them ready and at school on time. Now I have 3-3year old's (one is mine), 1- 21/2 year old, 1-1 year old (also mine) and the school aged kids. When it goes well, it goes very well but some days they are tired and don't feel like walking to school so they don't try.

What I learned over the years and with different age groups is to be prepared before they start dressing, as for example I lay out all their shoes and am sitting close to the coats so as soon as one is done I lay the coat down and they do the "in arms and flip method" then they are responsible to gather hats and mits from their box and try until I am available to help. On days when the cooperation is poor I find that signing a random made up song about their progress or simply one about dressing motivates them and/or making a race out of it.

I will also get the slowest one to start first so I could give him more attention and give him a head start before the rest come and envade the entrance! ;)

My three year old is also able to do it all alone, but will try to get me to dress him on some days. Since he loves helping I will ask him to quickly get dressed so he could help with x's coat or getting his baby sister's hat. He will then shift his attention to the next task and get the dressing part over quickly.

I hope you get them more independent before winter, cause I find it so much harder when the snow pants come in.....

Thanks Naftafia, I just want to make life easier as much as possible. The fact that winter is coming is what actually concerns me the most. I am a huge outdoor person so I want t obe able to get outside and not have it become such a negative part of our day.

I get the children to do these things in the morning in front of their parents and praise them and ask the parents if they can help their children be independent and learn these things at home too. It seems that the parents want to keep their children as their baby as long as possible and I understand that, so I point out that with 5 in care it's insanity for me to try to dress and undress all of them for outside play and the sooner they can help with the small things like boots and hats the better. The more practice they have, including at home, the quicker their little fingers learn how to do these things.

If you are lucky enough to have all of your children arrive at about the same time you could start the day outside and then it is up to the parents to dress them ready for play.

I found they got too distracted by what others were doing to dress themselves as part of the problem. Mostly I used to try to do them in sequence ie we all put snowpants on with me helping where needed, then coats, etc. the older ones were then put out into the yard while I finished up with the babies right beside the door to outside. Meant the littlest were out the shortest length of time.

One grace you have is that they will all be 2-3 months older by the time the new babies start and that might help.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

I get the children to do these things in the morning in front of their parents and praise them and ask the parents if they can help their children be independent and learn these things at home too. .

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Yes I write down in their journals what 'we are learning' so the parents can help out and do the same at home. I do have good parents and I beleive I have the support I need from them THANK GOODNESS.

I'm thinking we will make our own sign with our names on it and place them over the space where each child's clothing goes. Maybe this will get them more motivated. I do think they are doing well for the most part anyway. Just always looking for improvement I guess. They do enjoy washing their hand and are use to my routine so 'clean up' time is getting better and better but I still need to push here and there. They sing the song but sometimes will just stand there an continue playing :rolleyes:

Ah yes, the rush to get out to the school bus morning and afternoon is the part of the day I dread! So hard to rush a toddler! My 2 year old daughter is one of the most independent and stubborn children I know, so she can do everything herself including her coat zipper, but I know I have to allow a little extra time because she refuses to let me help...I have another girl her age who is similar. The boys are more like "I can't" and want me to do it. I have a new 2 year old boy who refused to do anything when he started, but is now happily taking off his shoes and jacket etc (on is still a struggle, but we're working on it)...I made it fun with lots of encouragement and high fives and fun "Let's see how fast you can get those shoes off...push push push them off!" and I showed him exactly where to put his fingers and how to push them off etc. Then I made sure to mention it to his mom, who said "I know...he now refuses to let me do it for him at home" :rolleyes: So my only suggestions are to make it fun, maybe a race with a sticker for the first one done (and then you may need to give stickers to each as they finish so they don't give up). Winter is coming...blahhhhh... :(