Any suggestions on how to deal with a tattle tale/makes things up and an instigator??

Hey guys!
Just wondering if you guys have any suggestions as to how to handle a 5 yr old girl who tattle tales on EVERYTHING and makes things up/over exaggerates? And also on how to deal with a 10 yr old boy who is always trying to instigate the other kids.

I read somewhere on here to try and ask 'Are you telling me this to try and get ______ in trouble or are you telling me to help them?' So far that has not worked very well as she just looks at me and turns away (which perhaps this is good bc it's making her think of what she is telling me). The majority of the time it really is nothing (someone grazed her arm and she says they pushed her or someone took a toy from someone else - and neither of the other kids really care that the toy was taken away in the first place). I've also tried talking to her and explaining that she should not make things up bc then it's hard to know what is truth and what is not.

The 10 yr old just tries to tease/instigate arguments with everyone (from stealing their seats, trying to bribe them to give them their toys, calls names (e.g you're mean), all the way to telling the other kids to do things that will cause problems - like 'hey Joe, Sara put her toy down you should grab it' and then poop hits the fan. I've tried having so many conversation with him explaining that he needs to be the example especially bc he is so much older than the other kids. But it hasn't done much either.

Both kids have been with me for a handful of months and I'm just not sure what to do with them anymore as it seems that if it's not the one calling my name and sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. Then I am busy asking the other to stop bugging the other kids. I understand kids will be kids but it's constant and so draining when they are here.

Thanks for your help!

I had a tattletale girl in care for years and she narrated our entire day and when I asked her Mom if she noticed this at home she said yes, the little girl even tattled on the pets. I spent all day every day asking her not to tell me everything but to talk to her friends. I was trying to teach her that is was unacceptable to tattle to an adult nonstop and learn to socialize and talk with her peers and work out problems herself. Her JK teacher will never know the grief I spared her! She was doing much better after 3 years of torture for me.

As far as the behaviour of the 10 year old boy I would be on him like white on rice, putting him in timeout, separating him from the others, removing privileges and encouraging him to change his behaviour. I would be shushing him and asking him to apologize to the others until I exhausted him. I'm stubborn and that's how I cure the children of bad behaviour. I'm relentless in breaking them of their bad habits and never cave in until they know it's going to be my way. Little do they know I'm helping them to be better people for the rest of their lives with good habits.

Oh tattling is a phase for that 3-6 age group for sure :(

This lady has LOTS of awesome ideas for tattling on her pinterst page ~ I have pinned a few that I liked for next time I have one in my program!

http://pinterest.com/jkl5502/tattle-tales/

I love this chart for tattle tale verses reporting to help older children with the concept
http://allthingskatiemarie.blogspot....attle-jar.html

As for the 10 year old ~ that age group is not my strong suit cause other than my own stepson and his small groups of friends I have avoided it like the plaque since attempting to offer a summer camp as a new grad and hated it and that was 20 years ago when kids were way less aggressive and it was just 'I do not want to / I am bored attitude' of that age group. Based on what you have described with him I would likely be creating a behaviour management action plan with his PARENTS about the expected behaviours, the consequences, time line for correction of behaviours before termination is the next step ... if they are not on board with making it clear he cannot behave like that or there will be hell to pay than IMO nothing you do in your program is going to work if he is allowed to behave like that at home or school without issue!

OMG Reggio. Thank you so much for the pinterest link. My daughter is nearly 12 and while she isn't a tattler about others she does have to report every bump and ache and pain she has lolol Even her teacher has commented about her need to be able to make a decision for herself as to whether a teacher needs to be informed or not if she has sore shoulders for example. I think the pinterest ideas could be easily applied to her area of need. I can't just tell her to stop and suck it up, no matter how much I'd sometimes like to, as I don't want her to get the message that nobody cares and also incase she didn't report something and that one time she really should have. I think these are good ways to make a good assessment of herself and the situation. :thumbsup:

My four year old sometimes instegates situations with the 2 year old in my care, eggs him on, and then tattles on him when he inevitably pushes, hits, etc. What I have found really helps is making him my special helper with the job of making that specific child happy...and every time he does something that makes him happy, I praise him up and down and he soaks it up like a sponge and wants to do more. Also, ignoring can work because it is an attention getting behaviour...even if the negative attention ends up being pointed toward whoever they tattled on, it is like entertainment and they get satisfaction out of it. So if you shrug it off and change the topic abruptly, it takes all the fun out of it...ex "Oh really, hey who wants to play with playdough?" I don't have much advice for the 10 year old as I don't have kids in my care older than 4 and my older son was not like that at that age. Good luck!

I have the tattler tell ALL of the tattles to the youngest walker in the house. When they start up I say "go tell Susie". The youngest walker in the room LOVES to have the attention of the older child who is tattling. He/she doesn't have a clue of what they are being told but they dig dig dig the drama. The youngest walker IS the complaint department at my house.

No advice for the ten year old. I don't do school aged kids.