Need a little reassurance! :)

Just finished talking to a Mother who is just finishing up her mat leave, she asked how much she will owe when the two children start coming. I explained to her that I would give her a little break and charge min. due for the infant and then take 5$ per day off for the second child. (my min is 3 day charge) she has opted to cut her hours at work so daycare could be cheaper, so she wants to bring them 2 days. The charges she will owe are 15$ less than charges for a three day week, I told her if she'd like she could take the three days and her hubby could stay at full time. As it was in order to cut back cost on daycare, he was planning to cut back hours at work. He may not have to for an extra 15$ a week. The kicker is...when I told her how much she would be due each week, she got a surprised look on her face and got real quiet..here's the prob.: when people get that way with me, it makes me feel guilty, like she expected to pay less for care and I feel bad that it's more than she anticipated. It's 35$ a week more than she thought it would be, they are very budgeted and I think she was surprised. I do understand her, but like I explained to her, I was allowing her to take two spaces in my 6 space capacity, and was charging her 140$ a week less than what I would make with 2 kids full time. Now I know what everyone will say, you are crazy for even taking that big of a cut! and that's how I view it, but at the same time I allow her look of surprise to outweigh that knowledge and make my self feel guilty. Talk me out of it please. :) thanks.

$140/ week is a huge cut! You deserve a ribbon :)
Good for you for standing your ground and not changing your mind when she looked shocked. I had this happen once before so I typed out a childcare quote for the family that broke down the costs/ child and then they seemed to take it a bit better.

You are too kind Kidlove ... when she goes to Walmart to buy clothes do they give her a 'discount on the second kid' for the clothes, when she has to buy car seats does she get a discount? If she has to get them passports, at the grocery store, buying diapers, signing up for sports ... I could keep going and going for ya but the point is that THEY CHOSE TO HAVE A SECOND KID ... why should YOU pay the price for that choice?

Two spaces in my program cost the SAME regardless of if you are related ~ I do not do sibling discounts because the reality is that siblings are a HIGHER RISK ... when they leave your income suddenly drops 2/5 and that is a HUGE amount to suddenly be out. Not to mention that it does not cost me LESS to provide care to them so giving a discount means a direct LOSS OF INCOME for me .... what makes THEIR finanical need for a discount greater than MY need for a viable income? Specially PART TIME you are already likely loosing income serving them when you cannot off set their other days WHY would you volunteer to loose MORE!

Honestly this is going to sound harsh but I honestly do not care .... IMO if you cannot afford daycare for TWO children do not HAVE TWO CHILDREN ... plan and simple! Why should the rest of society PAY for your choice????

Seriously I do not have children of my own ~ and the reason is that when I was young 18 I found out I already had stage 4 endometriosis and the Dr's told me ' if you want to have a baby better do it soon cause every month your chance of getting pregnant diminishes ... a horrible 'chose' to make at such a young age but I CHOSE TO BE RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN and not bring a child into the world that would have resulted in me having to be a leach on the social services because I had not been living with a parent since I was 16, I was still single, still in high school and not in a position to AFFORD a kid and not about to bring one into the world because there was a risk if I waited too long I might never ... and sadly by the time I WAS in a position to be in a committed relationship and good financial place my window had closed and I was indeed infertile ... the environment was so hostile even my 'eggs' where not able to be harvested to try surgery or other options .... so I will admit that I can be a little 'bitchy' having to listen to people WHINE about the cost of having children ~ they are a BLESSING and you CHOSE to have them so you figure out how to make them a priority and either STAY HOME and raise them or INVEST IN QUALITY CARE of someone else to do it for you ... you do not 'cheap out' on childcare cause it is the most important investment you are making!

Oh no kidlove, remember that if you let them have a break that they won't appreciate it and they will take the money they aren't paying you for your hard work and spend it on something like cigarettes. Not everybody is like that of course, but we deserve to be paid and we get so little per hour as it is. I feel so bad for you because I used to be a pushover, but now I stand up for myself in life and in business when it becomes necessary. Stand strong sweetie.

I have a family who only use 5-6 hours per day and all the other families use up to 9 hours and they all pay the same fee. The family who uses the short days have NEVER questioned my fee because they love it here and they know they are paying for their space.

Oh kidlove, I honestly wouldn't give them a deal. I know how you are feeling, I would feel bad too, BUT, we need to make a living also.

Child care isn't cheap, but honestly, if you compare home daycare to a daycare centre, our fee really isn't all that pricey and the children get quality one-on-one time.

As hard as it is to pay for two children to be in care, that is the most important fee that needs to be paid. Either they will make it work or they will find care elsewhere. And yes, "elsewhere" scares me....because cheap care is scary care.... but we need to feed and take care of our families!

Thanks everyone, that's just what I needed, I know I did the right thing by not giving her a bigger break. I honestly don't mind giving the second sibling discount, in my view it is my appreciation to those families who stay with me over the years even as their families grow. 5$ a day is just a little break for them I do know it can get spendy with more than one child. However I DO feel the same way as reggio also, IF you chose to have more than one child then you are CHOSING to pay to raise more than one. I did explain to her that I would be losing x ammount of dollars taking her children part time when I could fill the spot with two full paying clients, I know it sounded a little harsh when I said it to her but with people like that sometimes you need to point things out from the "other side" as well, they seem to only see things from their position. When I explained that to her, she seemed to understand it better, but then made the comment that if I got an offer for full time kids to take the spot just let her know and they would find care elsewhere! not sure if that was her way of trying to make me feel bad for her? my response was.."I would never do that to such a good family" that wasnt my point at all, I just wanted her to understand I was only in the same boat as her..making ends meet as well, and pointing out not only was I doing her a favor by charging less but willing to take a loss in income for her and her family.....I think things will be fine just frustrates me when it seems some people want something like the care we provider, for such a cheap price, as if we don't NEED the money, and we don't have families to raise ourselves. Not to mention, I was willing to cut her a break on care during her leave so they would have an easier time affording the loss in pay. Do they understand because I offered then a lower rate, I have had to struggle in turn? I don't mind doing the favors for these families, I treat others how I would like to be treated and would be so grateful to my provider if she was willing to cut deals here and there to help me out financially and take the hit to her own pocketbook at the same time? I would appreciate it so much, but I wouldn't expect it.....it seems this Mother expects a break rather than truly appreciates my kindness.
I have to sy though I am really glad I stuck to my guns and charged her for the min due, per my contracts, for a bit I was thinking of only charging for the two days she was bringing her kids and doing ANOTHER favor on top of ALL the others in the past. Thanks for ALL your input I appreciate the support here. Outsiders don't understand completely and most parents are too self centered to put the shoe on the other foot!!!!! :)

I have a few inquiries from parents wanting to send two children, but when they find out there is no sibling discount, they look elsewhere. Fine by me. I prefer having five separate families due to the risk of losing too much income if a family with siblings leaves. When one family expressed shock that there was no sibling discount, I told them I still show the second child the same care and don't cut back on their food because they aren't paying the full fee. (I think I got that idea on here). I honestly don't understand why a parent would think I would be willing to do without income because they chose to have two children. I wonder if their dentist also charges less for the second child's checkups...

I guess it depends on what area you're in and how in demand you are, but I wouldn't have given her a break at all. We have limited income and when we take on siblings we take a huge risk. Lossing one means loosing both!

It was nice of you to give her a break and if she chooses to go a different route then so be it. You will find someone else and make a higher income.

I've given breaks before to bring clients on, then when I get an inquiry that could pay more then that space I kick myself!

You did the right thing... more then some of us would have I think.

Honestly this is going to sound harsh but I honestly do not care .... IMO if you cannot afford daycare for TWO children do not HAVE TWO CHILDREN ... plan and simple! Why should the rest of society PAY for your choice????


I totally agree your statement above. I dont do discounts either.