Part Time kids

Hey all,
So I am having a heck of a time with this dcb, he is just starting and well he cries all the time! For three hr he went on for.:no: I dont know wht to do he wants to be held but still cries, I would normaly put him down with some toys and just let him be. But I cant take it any more. With all my other kids they would stop after a few mins 20 at most and go and play, but not thid guy. He is a year now and i have kids his age to play with, and they want to interact with him brining him toys or sitting with him but he just cries.

I feel your pain! I've been there many times over the years. Some kids are just tough to break in. Often, in my daycare, it's just finding that one thing that you can bond with the child over. With my latest little guy, it ended up being a chocolate banana smoothie my daughter brought home for me. We sat in the chair together while he wailed. I offered him a sip of my smoothie, which we ended up sharing in it's entirety, and that was it....bonded. It was like a light switch! Granted, it was the end of the day and it was only him and an infant left, but it still worked. If you can find a time during the day when it's very quiet and you can sit down with him for some one on one, see if there's something you can connect with him with. Often a little treat will do it....you take a bite, he takes a bite, and so on. Find out from Mum what his favourite thing is and get it. He will still have rough moments, but you then become someone he had a really good moment with and it will build.

Another thing I do as a last measure, when I can't take it any more, is to do an outing. Somewhere different, public and out of his comfort zone (play centre or a friend's home is good). He will very likely be upset by this, but you will then become his source of comfort. I've done that quite a few times with good results.

Good luck!

It's the part-time situation, that's the problem, I swear! I just transitioned a baby into care and he screamed bloody murder all day every day for the first 2 1/2 months. Guess what? As soon as he became full-time he stopped. I'm not going to transition babies part-time any more because that's the third time in a row that has happened to me. My new transition method is going to be full-time from day one to see if it works a lot better.

Also, talk to the parents as I did and make sure they are not picking the child up at home at the first peep out of them. I tell my dcparents that it's a harsh reality for a baby to learn that in the real world they have to share attention with others and that for the first precious year of their life they have been the centre of the universe but that is changing NOW. We need the parent's help with every issue to come during the daycare years and this is step #1, teaching the babies that screaming for no reason doesn't earn any rewards. Sure they need hugs and bonding and they are scared of the new environment so need reassurance that they are safe and well cared for but these little guys also have to learn to adapt to their new surroundings and new friends.

Jennifer, I'm sure you're doing a great job but it's a fact that some babies take a very long time, weeks and weeks to settle into daycare life. It's exhausting for us and the other children so the parents MUST help out!

I can agree with that to a point Momof4, but really, a 1 yr old is just that, a baby. It's pretty tough for them to 'get' the tough lessons at that age. Sure, they have to learn that screaming and crying for no reason isn't going to win any favours, but I'm not entirely sure it's favours they're looking for. To them, the way I see it anyway, they're thrown into a new situation, they're utterly terrified and with someone they don't know they can trust. I have found it much easier on all of us to really work with that one child when possible to make him/her comfortable and help them understand that they're loved, safe and in a place where their needs will be tended to, rather than having to 'suck it up and learn to cope'. He will learn to cope once he's developed a bond with his provider. That has been my experience after working in my own daycare for 11 yrs and in daycare centres and preschools. To the little guy screaming, he's not doing it for no reason. He's doing it for a very good reason in his mind. Granted, he's not really got a good point of reference due to lack of experience, but that's where we can help. The little guy I mentioned is also part time (Mon, Wed, Fri). Now, just a month in, you'd think he'd been coming here since birth. I have another little girl for Tues, Thurs who had been in her grandparents' care. I found her 'thing' and she's now totally fine as well. These 2, along with one more, are all new kids as I've just relocated my business, so I think the results speak for themselves. Once the kids have that trust and bond, THEN they can start learning about not screaming all the time....though it's not an issue by this point. The little girl took 1 month to break in, the boy took 2 weeks. It does take more work, yes, but the reward at the end is a child that adores you and comes in happy because of that, rather than feeling that they have to keep it together. I know it's a different method, but I've really found it successful over the years....even when doing placements in college. Think about your feelings when you walk into a situation that's way out of your comfort zone. While we can usually keep it together, our feelings of anxiety are still there. Often, someone showing that they care about you as an individual is all it takes to abate those feelings and put us on the right track...you know? It's just easier on everyone and the parents see the bond, thereby making them appreciate the provider more. It's win win really. Now this isn't to say it will definitely work with every child as some are infinitely more challenging than others. But thus far, in my varied experience, this has been the most successful for me.

Oh yes, cfred, don't misunderstand me, I complete agree with you that these little people are scared out of their minds and miss their parents and the one on one attention with them. Think how frightened any of us as adults are to start a new school or work situation and here they are at 1 year old in the same scary situation. I agree.

Yes, they learn that we have great fun, food, activities and friends and caring and sharing and loving at daycare, but it takes time before they are happy and contented. That's what I was trying to relate to Jennifer.

I agree with both of you but like Momof4, I think that sometimes, some kids ARE a lot harder to get adjusted than others and I can't devote all my time to helping one child adjust to care while I have several others I am caring for at the same time. I canNOT walk around all day holding a one year old. Sometimes giving them so much individual attention and concern only reinforces the behaviors and teaches them that the harder or longer they cry, the more attention they will get or that they will end up getting to be held just because they are screaming their head off.

I alos think there is a resonsibility on the parents part to do EVERYTHING they can to help their child be capable of making the adjustment to child care in a group. The parent has to be teaching the child at home that they aren't going to be helpd 100% of the time and that they are going to have to cry sometimes....that is how they learn to deal with frustration and develop coping skills.

Now I am NOT saying just let the kid scream his head off. I am saying that there are ways to "teach" them to cope. Delay picking them up every time they make a noise, soothe and comfort them without holding them, encourage them to go play etc. We are also talking about a 12 month old not a 3 month old which IMO, is a totally different thing. 1 year olds are classified as toddlers under my licensing requirements so age-wise, I dont treat them like infants so to speak.

Parents play a huge role in the adjustment of thier child into group care and sometimes the bulk of that responsibility falls on them.

As a child care provider to a GROUP of children, I need to be in tune with the other kids' needs as well and speaking from experience with just having a baby scream bloody murder for almost 6 straight months, the other kids shouldn't have to listen to that either. I now give my babies (7 mos +) a minimum of 30 days to show some kind of improvement or I let them go so the parents can find care arrangements that better meet their child's needs.

I also agree that the part time situation plays a HUGE role in adjustment for any child.