New Home Daycare and I messed up. Please Advise

So I have been aspiring to start home based child care. It started with my now ex best friend and her boyfriend needing childcare for their daughter who I love to pieces. I was there for her birth ect. Anyway Her father asked me occasionally to watch her a few hours here and there and I would for free because I wasn't seeing her much. CAS is involved, as the mother (my ex friend) is not allowed to be alone with the child. Once the father got a local job he asked me to watch her more frequently and asked is 25$ a day was good. At the time I was happy to just see her all the time, and make some extra money. Anyway when it came time to pay he called and said is 20$ a day good? I am a huge push over and he can be scary at times, so I said Yup.
Originally I was going to watch L ( the toddler) at their apartment so the mother could see the little girl, so I would drive over after my son went to school at 8:45. Well I got frustrated as the Mom upon my arrival would go back to bed until 4Pm Even once smoked a weed and then went to bed. I told her how dare she do that while I was watching her daughter at her place so she could see her and left with L So I started bringing L to my place, and we wound up saying ok I will watch her at my place. Well now I watch her Mon-Thurs sometimes Fri and Sat for $20 a day. I pick her up from their apartment between 6:30am-7am. and have her until usually 5:30pm-6pm, where he picks her up. I know you probably all think I am crazy for not only charging so little but picking her up. I started picking her up when I was going over after my son went to school and then when I said I wanted to watch her at my place since the mother was going to bed all day he didn't want to drive out of his way (5min) to drop her off. So now that you have how I started watching the child, and falling in love with how much fun I have with her, and the other little ones I see occassionally I don't know how to approach the dad and say " Listen 20 a day is not enough for sometimes 12hrs of care" he knows how much I love L and I don't want him to freak out, but with food costs, gas for picking her up, toys ect, I make nothing.
I had advertised for months to welcome a child or two into my home for care and had no hits, and now that Jan rolled around I have another child coming in the next few weeks. I messed up again by being a pushover and saying 20$ a day was good. She hasn't signed any contracts or even started so now I am stressed about saying listen I was dumb I need to charge at least 25-30 a day.
Ugh so much to learn,
Please seasoned care takers help me!

I feel for you and you obviously have a very big heart. I'm not sure what area you live in, rates certainly vary. When I first opened, I chose to start at the low end of the range of average childcare rates in my area just to build up a clientele and have gradually raised those rates to where I am now at the high end. So, keep in mind, you don't have to charge the same amount for future clients and you can raise the rate of current ones (I think yearly is reasonable). As for your current situation of the child you pick up/drop off...you really have no choice...refuse to continue, continue with increase in fees, or simply go on as you have been (& feeling bitter about it)...those are your choices...I don't know how to help you with that one but to say work on being strong and putting yourself and your family first. Best of luck to you!!

That sounds like a pretty precarious position to be in.

If you're serious about this business, you have toughen up. I was a pushover too, in the beginning. If you get screwed a couple times, you get past that. I don't know where you live. I live in the Greater Toronto Area and charge $39/day and am considered cheap. Find out what people charge in your area. Call daycare centres and find out their rates. You don't have to tell them why you want to know. Some places even have a fee schedule on their websites. $20 is way, way too low and could be a red flag for people looking for care....sort of like "she's really cheap, but why???"....you know what I mean? Do you have experience in the field? ECE, former job at daycare, work in schools, own children? This is a very difficult job so get yourself ready for long days. BUT, it's also very rewarding if you get into the groove of it.

First thing on my list would be to lose that first family (your ex-best friend). I'm not a snob, but I can tell you that you do not want to be associated in a personal and friendly way with that situation in your line of work. If CAS is already involved and you know mom is leaving her in daycare to go home and smoke weed, that's probably something they'd be interested in knowing about. I know you love the girl, but a hard lesson I've learned over the years is that there's only so much you can do. I was a nanny to an absolutely horrendous family. Called CAS about a number of things and was told it wasn't bad enough, but the children would be fine as long as I was there. Nope....I was fresh out of ECE and wanting to make a go of my own life. I could have stayed on there forever and the parents would still be neglectful and irresponsible, and I would have an education sent right out the window. Move on to clients who will appreciate you and who are on your wavelength.

On my goodness, obviously you care very much about the child and you're trying to do your best to help this family who is desparate trouble. However, that's what CAS does on a daily basis. They don't just come in and take children away unless it's really necessary. They have lots of resources to help this single Dad. Talk to him about getting help for himself, I'm not saying you should report him. But tell him you are going to get your business off the ground now and you may not be able to continue helping him. Be honest but take care of YOU!

If you follow through with this crazy plan to charge so little, you will hit a point of resentment toward these parents, apthough it is your fault for offering to go so low, they too should not be attempting to take advantage of your time and services. not to mention, they will spill the beans to others and before you know it you have a bundle of cheapskates knocking at your door. unless your quality of care is low, you deserve more and anyone bringing their child to you should be willing to pay more. (i have to say though, not many parents will argue with a lower rate)(although the great ones do:)) This is what I would do:
type up all your contracts, and get your place set up as a daycare (if not already) place an add for more kiddos IF you want to. Then? give the current parents you have the contracts and let them know they will go into effect with in a specified time frame (one month or so). You need to treat everyone the same, family, friends, rich or poor. YOU have a business and you need to act like it....you are not some wealthy chic who loves kids so much that would just prefer to offer care for free, you are doing this for a living so make these parents see that.
remember: 1. the cheaper your rates, the cheaper people will treat you!
2. business is business, not friendship.
Good Luck! and don't forget...you are worth the pay and anyone who doesn't think so..isn't worth your time!

cfred made a great point....if you remain involved with this family that is involved with CAS and this Mother who smokes weed....you are not going to attract the greatest clients. Not to mention, if I was looking for care and found you was happy and brought my child to you and later found out their was a family with background of such nature, I would seriously question my choice and more than likely remove my child from your care for safety sake! I hate to be that way, but the type of families you let in your home sets a standard for who you are.

Thanks Kidlove....was feeling that my post was a tad harsh. Sounded like a total b*$#%, but heart was in the right place :)

totally get it cfred. I feel especially with someone new to the job or someone who i might think is making a mistake, speaking up is much better than not. I think of everyone here as a friend so telling them the truth to help them is first priority. ;)