Would you terminate?

Looking for some advice from the professionals out there!

A little background....This is my second year operating a daycare out of my home. I have two dcg, 2 and 18 months and two young boys of my own. One of my dcg is fantastic, sweet, easy going, a real delight and I'm grateful to have found such a wonderful family.

2 year old dcg on the other hand is turning out to be a nightmare. Most days she is anti social, screams her head off if any of the other kids come near her, she's miserable, I sometimes have to separate her from the others so she can play alone and she is just difficult to be around. Example: the button on her pants popped open while she was playing one morning and she began screaming hysterically. i calmed her down, explained she needs to stop crying and ask for help as i wont tolerate the screaming but am happy to help. Her parents are fully aware of how she behaves and don't quite know what to do either as she is the same at home and her mother frequently apologizes for the 'hysteria' as she calls it. I have tried hard to work with them and ensure their daughter is happy in my home but find I'm not enjoying caring for this child (feel horrible admitting this) and the other kids tell me they don't like her. :(

My thought process...I know some kids are sensitive I don't want to fault the child or the parents if she is just really sensitive. The parents are good ppl, dcg has her moments when she is sweet, she comes 3 days a week- the PT schedule is hard on her. She was my very first client... So, I'm torn between being loyal to them knowing the disruption it would cause them, and maintaining my sanity and putting my family first as my oldest tells me he doesn't like dcg because she cries all the time. I also feel like a failure because I can't seem to get it right with this one but I also worry that she's miserable and needs to be somewhere else, like a licensed facility with staff who are properly trained to deal with a child like her.

Comments? Suggestions? Just as a side not... She was off for 2 weeks at Christmas and everyone was much happier in her absence, myself included.

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you found us so we can help you any way we can, that's what we try to do here. I read the answer to your problem in your last paragraph. If you know that life can be good without this child then you know what to do. Are you advertising and interviewing?

We should never feel guilty when we have to make these hard decisions. It's nothing personal, it's business. Do you have a good contract and does it state that you or the clients have to give a certain amount of notice? You can plan to replace them and give them their proper notice when you find a new family but it sounds like that would be in the best interest for your happiness and your family and your daycare business.

We've all had to do it at one time or another for one reason or another and it's never easy, but keep your explanation to a minimum and professional.

Part of the child's problem is just being two and realizing it is big world out there and she is a little helpless part of it so to speak. There is a good chance that it will get better as her language also improves.

It might not seem like it but the fact the behaviour is the same at home as at daycare means that it is nothing specific about our house, you, the other kids, etc.

There is a good chance that she does need to be assessed for her issues and that is easier to do in a daycare centre environment rather than a home daycare where it more easily stands out that a behaviour is not the norm for the age group and that the child is not fitting in/coping like the others are.

If you are wanting to terminate that might be the route to take with the family saying given the situation why you think moving her to a daycare centre is a good idea and then agree to keep the child till they can make those arrangements realizing they won't be able to give you a lot of notice since they will find a space and need to start right away or lose it. ie the day you give notice to them means you move to a day by day basis till they go.

Thank you so much for your advice! I have started advertising again. I suppose I am just looking to give myself permission to terminate and not feel like a failure. I know some of this behaviour is part of the territory when dealing with toddlers, but when it's been going on for a year I realize its not going to change. Thanks again for your words of wisdom:)