Such a difference in drop offs

So my newbie dcg has been here this week and what a drastic change from the first 2 days she was here...and not a good change. The first 2 days dcm dropped off, it was awesome, she barely cried, was pretty happy and content all day. This week is the total opposite and I don't know if it's because dcdad is dropping off this week while he is home (he works away from home...10 days on, 10 days off) or what but she is screaming her head off at drop off. She cries off and on during the day but at least she sleeps like a dream. I ended up putting her to bed about 10 minutes after she got here because quite frankly, it's Friday and I really don't feel like listening to her scream first thing in the morning.

I don't get the huge difference in her for drop off from mom vs dad.

By the third day they can predict what is going to happen. It's VERY common for the first two days to go well and the third day go awry. I always see it as a great developmental sign when they do this. It means they can predict the future and be able to apply what has happened in the past to what is going to happen next.

Excellent. So give her her time to grieve every day. Off straight quicklike to bed so she has something in the middle of the transition.... dad/mom to you... you to the bed really really fast.... bed to you. Then you will be seen as the savior "taking from bed" instead of the devil... taking them from mom/dad world. :)

I have experienced very different reactions from kiddos with Mom vs Dad before, pay close attention to how she is when she is with one vs the other, the answer might be clear as day, she could have a deeper connection to dad, or have more separation issues due to his abnormal work schedule. either way, you may need to come to the conclusion of only Mom dropping off and maybe dad can pick up on his days off? if you pay close attention to her behavior with each parent and talk to the parents about it, you may be able to figure things out quite quickly. Good Luck!

Probably a combo of things going on there...

a) now that she is aware that mom/dad will be away for the whole day, she isn't as excited about getting dropped off. As you know, it has nothing to do with you, so don't be offended. All little kids would rather hang out with their parents, pretty much as a rule. Even if they have a ton of fun at your place!

b) I would bet that when Daddy is home, she reacts like this whenever he leaves. That must be tough on a small person, 10 days here and then 10 gone. It would seem like an eternity to her.

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Originally Posted by kidlove

I have experienced very different reactions from kiddos with Mom vs Dad before, pay close attention to how she is when she is with one vs the other, the answer might be clear as day, she could have a deeper connection to dad, or have more separation issues due to his abnormal work schedule. either way, you may need to come to the conclusion of only Mom dropping off and maybe dad can pick up on his days off? if you pay close attention to her behavior with each parent and talk to the parents about it, you may be able to figure things out quite quickly. Good Luck!

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This is what I'm thinking...

She cries off and on all day...aside from nap time. It's a pissed off cry. She is mad to be here. She was here for 2 days in a row with mom dropping off and she did fantastic! Then she was off for a week because she was having some poop issues. She is back this week with dad dropping off and it has not been good like the first 2 days. She is p/t...here 3 days/week (T,Th,F). I'm hoping when dad goes back to work she will be better. If she is then I will be requesting mom do drop offs.

I have to agree with Daycarewhisperer...I often see day three as "D Day"...the day many kids are likely to suddenly resist being dropped off. It suddenly sinks in that this thing is going to be thier new reality...every day! For the first couple of days they are kind of stunned and distracted by the newness...and then it hits them "Whoa! Wait a minute...just because I didn't cry, doesn't mean I want to go here every day! Maybe I better cry and let my parents know that this is totally not okay!". I even saw this reaction with my own 2 year old when he was in daycare and we had to switch to a new daycare...the first two days were great and I started to breath a sigh of relief...patting myself on the back for choosing a great daycare. Then, day three, and whamo...crying tantrums..not wanting to go to daycare...saying he didn't like it there. It eventually passed, but there were a few difficult mornings!

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Originally Posted by sunnydays

I have to agree with Daycarewhisperer...I often see day three as "D Day"...the day many kids are likely to suddenly resist being dropped off. It suddenly sinks in that this thing is going to be thier new reality...every day! For the first couple of days they are kind of stunned and distracted by the newness...and then it hits them "Whoa! Wait a minute...just because I didn't cry, doesn't mean I want to go here every day! Maybe I better cry and let my parents know that this is totally not okay!". I even saw this reaction with my own 2 year old when he was in daycare and we had to switch to a new daycare...the first two days were great and I started to breath a sigh of relief...patting myself on the back for choosing a great daycare. Then, day three, and whamo...crying tantrums..not wanting to go to daycare...saying he didn't like it there. It eventually passed, but there were a few difficult mornings!

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Just like fish and relatives... daycare goes bad on day three.

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Originally Posted by daycarewhisperer

Just like fish and relatives... daycare goes bad on day three.

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Too funny and sooooo true. LOL

We use to say 'the honeymoon is over' in my centre days and yes it is quite common with children of all ages.

Also the 'change' to her routine likely did not help ~ I have had children who've been coming for months and doing awesome with the consistent drop off parent and pick up parent and than something happens and they swap up and the one drops off instead and WOW MAMA here comes some resistant behavior from the kid!

And also agree that it is quiet common for children to behave one way for one parent and totally different for another ~ I use to pray for DCD to pick up the children because DCM had no control over them and so it was always me having to 'parent' the kids out the door where as dad they ran to open arms lets go home and were out the door in 30 seconds!