Don't know how to handle this?

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02-04-2013 02:32 PM
Calgarymom

Don't know how to handle this?

So I have a new dcb nearly 3. He is part time 2 days a week and has been here 3 months. He seems to change the whole dynamics of the group! He causes lots of arguments over toys and sharing he wants what anyone else is playing with, eating, wearing etc. He never listens to anything - come here, get your coat, change toys now the timer has gone off, other children talking (and there is nothing wrong with his hearing he can hear the word candy spoken quietly from across the room lol). And I know this might sound a bit crazy but he tries to intimidate the other children by using his body or a large toy to trap them in place - but he never hurts them by hitting. He isn't naughty just irritating (I know I'm not supposed to say that :blink:). I have spoken to his parents about certain things and they sound like they are trying but nothing has really got any better. I just don't know how to help him fit in better?:no:
02-04-2013 03:03 PM
mimi

It sounds like he is trying to show everybody who's boss everytime he comes. You need to show him that you are in charge. Everytime there is a negative action he must know that there are consequences. It may be a one/one chat with you, losing a priviledge or having a time out. Let him know he is valued and that he must behave as his daycare friends do. Perhaps some one/one playtime with you may settle him and feel accepted.
02-04-2013 05:24 PM
Momof4

Is there a history from his past daycare? Did they terminate him for bad behaviour or did he suffer there for some reason? I would talk it all out with the parents and ask them questions. See if they can help you out. Otherwise, be consistent in being kind to him but when he misbehaves use a firm voice to teach him that he can't get away with that stuff at your daycare.

I like what mimi said too.
02-04-2013 06:56 PM
sunnydays

I am struggling with a similar type issue with a child who came from another daycare...it is a constant struggle, but I would say definitely make sure to give tons of positive reinforcement for any little thing he does well...even "Wow! You are doing a great job of playing nicely with the dinosaurs! High five!"...these kinds of things can go a long way...especially with a child old enough to understand well. And of course, consequences for bad behaviour. Maybe with time it will improve. I do think that some kids are simply more "irritating" to us...it's like a personality clash. Hard to deal with!
02-04-2013 08:47 PM
gramma

Is he alot older than the other kids? Sounds to me like he is trying establish himself above the other kids. As for not listening he just wants to do what he wants when he wants which as wel all know doesnt work in daycare LOL. It could have someting to do with where he was before he came to you. Maybe there were no rules and he could do whatever he wanted. Remember that regardless of age, it always takes part timers longer to adjust. If you find that you dont enjoy the days that he comes, might be time to make a change. If your willing to put in the time, consistency is the key and cooperation from the parents. From everything you've said he sure sounds naughty to me LOL. good luck
02-05-2013 07:25 AM
fruitloop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calgarymom

He isn't naughty just irritating (I know I'm not supposed to say that :blink:).

Sorry this is a bit off topic to start and it's something that always irritates me but why does everyone always say/feel this? You CAN say that and feel that. There is nothing wrong or to be ashamed of if you're feeling this way. Kids CAN be irritating and annoying...it's part of being a kid...it's what kids do! Both kids and this job are NOT 100% rainbows and sunshine, it's NOT! I wish people would just accept that they are allowed to have negative feeling towards a child and it's ok. What's not ok is treating them badly...which you are not, just sayin.

Ok...now to the issue...Every time he would essentially "bully" another child I would be removing him from the area and be putting him by himself to play. When he is playing nice and being helpful/friendly towards the other kids, I would give him a ton of praise so he know that THIS is the behaviour that makes you happy. Hopefully over time he will get it.