Helping Mom

Hi Fellow DCP,

I have a new little one set to start out in a couple of weeks. I have been transitioning him slowly into daycare life before mom gets set to head back to work.
However LO is still having lots of tears. I can see that it is breaking mom's heart and to me she seems a little nervous and worried about leaving him and she expressed that she is worried about me and the other kids if he continues to cry while in care for 8 hours. She is such a caring and sweet mom and LO is (although crying still) seems to be a well adjusted child......and super cute and really quiet when he cries.
I've tried to express and ensure her that he will be fine and will eventually get over it. I told her that I have had lots of experience in Centre Care with crying babies that lasted for weeks and that it in no ways bothers me and that I do everything I can to support him and help him through this transition but
I just don't know what else to do or say to help her. Is there anything that you have said to help mom's when they leave to go back to work. I really like her and think she is such a wonderful Momma but want her to feel good about returning to work and confident that she has picked the right child care............any advice is welcome :) anything that you have said or done.............I'm ALL ears

Oh yes, you're right, it's part of the job making the parents feel better. I take care of the tentative Mom as much as the new child in care. I tell the Mom I know how hard it is for her because I was in her shoes with my children and it's a harsh reality to have to leave your child behind and a harsh reality for the child to be thrown into a whole new situation with strangers.

Part of the reason my clients love me is because I'm willing to send them an email to tell them how baby is doing or let them call me the first week and I answer all their questions, give them good updates at the end of the day, etc.

But I also let the Mom know that the happier she is about the child coming to be with us at daycare and the less stressed she feels about it at the door the quicker her child will relax and feel happy with us. Back when I was a new Mom I got 16 weeks mat leave so I also tell them how lucky they are now to have a year with their baby.

After that it's all about building trust and keeping open communication with the parents so they are confident in your abilities and the great time their child is having at daycare.

On days that a child is having a hard time during drop off or during a transition period I make a point of taking a few pictures with my cell phone of the child happily playing with the other children and text them out to the parents. That way mom or dad can see that their little one isn't upset the whole day. Past that just reassuring both child and parent that they are just fine.

That's a GREAT idea!!!!!! Totally going to do that :):):)

I do the pictures through the day too....always have. Parents love it! Also, for the first few weeks, Mom can text me as much as she needs to, until she feels comfortable. My latest texted a few times per day (each being a conversation) for the first 3 weeks, then stopped. I think it's important to them to feel that even though they can't be here for their babies, they still are involved throughout the day. It puts them at ease.

Yes i do the same as Mom of 4 said - I empathize and say that I have been there and know how hard it is but that eventually LO is going to love daycare. I remind the parents that it is just a transition period and that I am totally expecting there to be rough days at first and that the rough days are perfectly normal.

I try to seem and sound confident and every morning assure them that LO will be okay and fine and that we are going to have a good day.

I have emailed during nap time to a nervous parent to assure them or send them a picture. They really appreciate that and always feel better.

Reminding mom to keep drop offs/goodbyes brief in the morning should also make it easier for her and LO