Modesty an issue already?

I'm not a mother to a 5/6 year old so I don't know if I am being unreasonable or right on track. My friends daughter often comes to my daycare to play and is always in short skirts, skorts etc and never have I seen leggings under her skirts...what I do see often however is her underwear, and parts of her bum. Like most 5.5 year olds she's always lifting her legs over her head, flipping around, sitting with her legs open etc. At 5.5 she watches movies with sexual content, I often find her playing house and making barbies kiss etc. That paired with her already knowing her body parts and flashing them around so to speak is boiling my blood. I am not sure if I should say something to my friend, or maybe not allow her over any more? I have kids who are younger in daycare and that type of thing has not even been an issue here unless she is around. Yesterday when a parent (man) picked up she was on the grass with her legs wide open doing the splits in the air or something in a skirt. I felt like I should have said a comment to her about being lady like in a skirt and keeping legs down etc. Is this reasonable for her age or am I being out of line?

Most schools have the rule that shorts must be worn under skirts. You might suggest the same thing for this girl with the idea that when she is at your house she enjoys getting down on the floor and playing with the little kids and it would be best for all if she had something on under her skirt as you are trying to teach the younger children about what is ok to show and what is not.

As much as I wouldn't want to have this conversation, I would say something. You said she already knows all the body parts and flashes them around...I wouldn't want my kids or one of my daycare kids to go back home and repeat or do some of the stuff she does with her dolls. As a parent, if my child came back from daycare and said something or played with her dolls like that, I would ask the daycare right away what is going on because I would know she picked it up from there and not at home.

I would not want a bare bummed (partiually, or otherwise) child sitting on my carpet or couch, so treat is almost as a sanitary issue. Kids that age are not concerned about hygene (they may not wipe very well, if at all) and if part of her bum is hanging out, that would gross me out, apart from any 'mature' gestures she may display.
I agree with a new dress policy about shorts or tights being worn under skirts. maybe casually mention to your friend that you are putting this into effect to mimic the school policies. I wonder if she would take that hint and start appropriately dressing her daughter, even though she is technically not in your care as a charge.

She is rarely here but it seems to cross my mind in some form everytime she is here. No charge no as she's a friends kid and it's just casual drop in. The problem with saying I'm changing my policy is that I only have 2 girls under 2 years so I think it would be an obvious hint.

If you're uncomfortable with it, then mention about wearing shorts. I have a 5 and 8 year old girl and personally I've taught them from a young age the correct word for their body parts, they know what a vagina and a penis is. I've always found it silly to call it anything but what it was. As for barbie's kissing, have none of these kids seen their parents kiss?? It's perfectly normal for them to copy this, it doesn't mean anything sexually necessarily.

I agree that we must teach girls to be modest and respectful but we must also instill in them to appreciate themselves and not be ashamed of their bodies. I just don't see why everyone is getting so uptight about some underwear showing. If actual body parts are visible then she needs better fitting underwear.

If it's around my house who cares? If you're out in public then my girls have been taught not to jump around and go upside down in skirts.

It is a sensitive area. You don't want to make her feel like she has done something wrong or that her body is shameful or that kissing Barbies are wrong.
I would make a comment to your friend saying that the other day it kjind of bothered you that her underwear was showing while she did splits on the ground when the dck father came to pick up. I would say it very lightly and just see what she says.
I think it is kind of antiquated to talk about being 'lady like'. If anything it is a better strategy to talk about how their body parts are private and wonderful and should be kept to themselves and that they have to take good care of them and make sure noone else sees them but their parents.

Otherwise I agree with zen that it is pretty normal and not much to worry about. You don't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill

It's not something I would really stress about. As the others have mentioned, the last thing you want to do is create a body image issue that sticks around for life! A bum is a bum, we all have one. I agree somewhat with a sanitary issue, in that her bottom may be touching a surface once in a while. It's not something I would have thought about though. And I don't know how much of an issue it would really create, germ-wise.
That said, I would speak to her about sitting so that her undies don't show, etc. I mean, as a girl, you have to learn eventually that it just doesn't fly to show your goods to the world! I think she is old enough to know/learn this.
If she is doing things you feel inappropriate... that is another issue. If she is showing kids her private areas or her bare bum, or doing otherwise age inappropriate things with the dollies; THAT I would cease immediately.

kids usually start to develop modesty around this time. I have had to remind my 7 year old to not flip upside down wearing a skirt though.

I would mention it, kids are maturing faster and faster.

a note- a lot of times inappropriate sexual behaviour is a sign of abuse, is that even a possibility?

Schools have the wear shorts or leotards rule for the girls so that when they are going up the ladders etc on the playground equipment they aren't flashing to the boys below. It is a rule that could be put into your daycare handbook. Since it will be a good one to have with potty training/newly trained girls in that accidents will happen and the shorts will absorb some of it. That would be a way to put it to your friend that you have this rule and in fairness her daughter should adhere to it when she comes over.