Boys!!!

LOL! So Im also having issue with my older boys! man.. im tired! LOL!

I have 4 boys (1 is my own) between the ages of 6 and 8. All after school. I allow them to play in our basement playroom, I stay up stairs with the little ones. There is a ton of little toys down there not appropriate for the little ones.

Since Feb when I started with the most recent 2 boys, there is nothing but wrestling, dog piling, rough houseing and most upsetting to me, a total lack of respect for the toys and activities that I have down there for them. (over the march break, my son was with his dad and the 3 other boys smashed, and I mean SMASHED all the lego that he had built with chairs!! and then lied to my son about it telling him the cats destroyed his lego) yesterday, the destroyed a Tool bench that I had down there that I swap out for a kitchen up here for the little ones. I constantly hear, "SHe's coming!!!" when I run down to check on them...

Anyhow, ive banned them from the basement for now, and they have to stay up sstairs with me with the little ones (this is going to be harder on me than it is on them I'll bet) I've spoken to the kids, and the parents, and the kids together with the parents several times and my own son who I know is a huge part of the problem.

So I've decided I need to have more structure after school.... prob is I konw they arent interested in crafts and activities like playdough and stuff.. would you make them do it? or give them the option, to do it? I dont want them just waching TV. What do you think? What would you do with them??

Can they have more outdoor time? I would set out specific consequences for the behaviors you mentioned. However the fact that they are unsupervised in the basement makes it pretty hard to have consequence because you will never know what really happens down there. They need more supervision.

I've found with the boys in care, it is easiest to keep them occupied when you create activities that are somewhat competitive. For example the other day I tool masking tape and made a whole bunch of "trails" and "roads" on the floor. I then gave each boy a cotton ball and a straw. The object of the game was to use the straw to blow the cotton ball along the road to the finish line.

We have also used masking tape to create shapes, and paths along the floor and then each boy must get from the square to the circle or across the line on one foot or walking backwards etc.

We also do things like Simon Says, Red Light-Green Light and listening activities/games. It really keeps the boys occupied and helps them get their energy out in a constructive and less rough housing manner.

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Originally Posted by Fun&care

. However the fact that they are unsupervised in the basement makes it pretty hard to have consequence because you will never know what really happens down there. They need more supervision.

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Are there baby monitors on the market with a camera? We need eyes on the back of our heads!!

As for after school activities, you may want to consider a routine like:
-after school snack (1/2 hr)
-outdoor play (1/2 hr to 45 min to incl dressing/clean up)
-quiet reading (age appropriate books of course) 20 min
-board games (Battle Ship, Jenga, Payday, Angry Birds etc.) can last up to an hour

Then they'll be near you to supervise, and hopefully by that time the parents are there to pick up.

You will always hear, "I don't want to!" With that response, give appropriate choices. "Well, either you can pick the game, or I can pick it. It is game time right now."
or
"Let's pick a game from what I have today, and you can bring one from home for tomorrow if you'd like."
And while they're playing you can all talk about what games interest them.
or... "you can either choose a game, or help me clean :) "

That also works for books. In addition for reading complaints, you can say: " I can tell reading is not your favorite. But, we are going to read for 20 min. and then you can have some fun with a game after."

And when they've really had it up to their eye balls with the new schedule, you can talk about their behaviour in the lower level. If they really like having that freedom, they need to be respectful while down there. Or, it's back to the schedule again. And let the parents know what you're about to do so they're on the same page as you!

I'm sure you're creative and this will spark your own ideas. You'll have this solved in no time :)

I allow video games at that age. I found that when they had nothing to do thats when they caused problems and I'm not entertaining older kids. They love playing with my ds on the computer too. I'm finding more and more that boys love computers and video games.

I like the above mentioned ideas re: a schedule, more supervision and more outdoor time. I also think you can have the basement as a reward that they can earn for following the program. I would however only let them go down at different times in pairs so it's not a problem. Maybe have 2 playing a board game upstairs while the other two are downstairs then switch.

I always allowed the school age to bring their own nintendo - well it was Game Boy back then to play but it was also a privilege they could lose for rude behaviour, etc. Because it was their own it was up to them to take care of it and that was made clear with parents that I was in no way responsible for it and they had to take that on themselves. I only intervened if asked.

It was nice to have them more or less quiet off in the corner - protected from the little ones as in they weren't allowed where the big boys were.

Yes, I do agree they need more supervision... it is definatly hard for me to dole out consequences when Im only able to run down and check on them as oppose to staying with them in the basement. They also get upset because the 2 girls I have (one is my own) constantly run and tattle! Anyhow, I'm awaiting the nicer weather outside, our backyard is a mucky mess right now so as soon as it dries up a bit, thats what I'm going to do... out door time, they can run and play all they want outside and the great thing is I can supervise them at all times, even if I have to take the little ones inside, I can still see and hear them (and they know this! LOL!)

We are going to do movie day once a week, with popcorn and such, DS days on Fridays, and reading every day after school as I know each and every one of them could use the extra time for that.

Game time is a great idea too! I'm gonna try that...

Thanks ladies for all the wonderful suggestions!