Selective mutism

I have a 4 yo dcg who is entering kindergarten in September. She is at the point where she will whisper to me if we are alone or if there is a child under 2 within earshot. She won't talk if there are children her own age nearby. I phoned Child Development and the lady there was talking to Mental Health asking them for their opinion. Mental health said that I should have the mom contact them. I had suggested the mom take her daughter to the dr. Which she hasn't done so far. I'm pretty sure that if she won't take her to the dr. Regarding this, she's not going to phone Mental Health. WWYD?

I would let the girl know that you can't hear her and she needs to talk louder. You can say "oh my ears are so old that I can't hear you, you need to talk louder"

If you ignore her pretending not to be able to hear what she said what does she do as in repeat it louder which would be the norm or get frustrated and cry/scream/whine or does she just go off and not care?

What does she do at home? Has she been told to "be quiet" too many times for disturbing the adults as in was she always like this or did she used to be talkative and louder?

For sure meeting with a speech pathologist or other professional is probably in order. The good news in a sense is that if she is going off to school that will be picked up immediately and they will get her on the list for assessment and services which will take place through the school - assuming the wait list isn't too long.

She will make sounds to indicate that something is amiss as in this is her way of tattling. She makes these noises when she's trying to get my attention. She will get frustrated and cry when I don't understand what she's trying to tell me by pointing or making sounds. At home she is a chatterer. I googled this condition and she fits the description. These children are usually pretty intelligent and they tend to talk a lot with their immediate family. Her mom and I have discussed this and mom seems to be resistant to taking her to the dr. but she is concerned.

I knew a lovely family that had this situation with their middle child. They took her to a developmental pediatrician and he diagnosed her with an anxiety disorder. Once they had the diagnosis, they were able to access help for her to be able to cope with her anxiety. She's still extremely shy, and won't talk to brand new people, but she has come a long way.

I worked with a lady whose daughter had selective mutism! She had NO idea because her daughter was such a chatter box, as soon as she hit school she didn't say ONE word! She is in therapy but been in school for 2 years and still hasn't spoken. She is very bright though.

I have a 3 year old boy who is super shy and doesn't talk very much. He pokes me and points which I put a stop to every morning, but his parents let him do that at home so he forgets. I keep asking him to use his words please and when he points I tell him that I don't understand, that I need him to tell me with words. He won't speak at all in front of other people. Since I was a very shy child I haven't worried about him.

Thanks for bringing this up, I will talk to his Mom about it. But I firmly believe that it is the parent's responsibility to look into things like this. I wouldn't make any phone calls.

Two of my own son's are Selectively Mute!
Before my oldest entered the school system, we never knew there was anything "wrong". He was always a normal talkative little guy. I was always a stay at home mom (started doing daycare when he started SK) so besides family, he didn't have a lot of interaction with other people. As soon as he started school and we found out he wasn't talking, I was on the computer non-stop trying to figure out what it could be. I came across Selective Mutism and was astounded. This described my son to a "T"!! I took all of my research to the principal and surely enough that was the conclusion we came to. Finally in Grade 1 he started talking to a few other children in his class, but would not with his teachers or any adults for that matter. With the help of the schools Speech Pathologist it was finally decided that it was time for my son to be seen by a psychiatrist, he was in Grade 2. After several months, the word Prozac came up. Not knowing what to do I sat down with our Pediatrician, went over the pros and cons and ultimately decided to go that route. Within 6 months my son started talking, joined the choir and hasn't "shut up" since...LOL. He's now in Grade 9, on the student council and has decided he wants to get into law. Not bragging here but he's incredibly smart and maintains a 95% average. Now my youngest son is 6 and is following in his brother's footsteps EXACTLY! We've already decided to forgo the psychiatrist and put him straight on the Prozac. I'm a little more at ease with him because I've already been there done that. With my oldest, I used to cry everyday I dropped him at school knowing he was not going to speak. It killed me!!
Selective Mustism is an anxiety disorder that can't be helped. In no way would I make this little girl try to speak, it could very well put her into a situation where she may become terrified to come to your home. If you're able to work with her and build a trust so she can gesture her needs to you that would be an important first step. This family could possibly have a long road ahead of them if this is their diagnosis.
I have four children, 2 boys and 2 girls and how lucky of me to have both boys face this.
I have to run now, but let me know if you have any questions. I'd love to help you out!!