Am I being unrealistic?

So I sleep trained both my girls, they are put in their beds and they go to sleep. My 1 year old sometimes fusses for a minute but she knows the drill and goes to sleep.

With the daycare kids is it unrealistic to expect the same thing? I have 3 kids today. A 3 y o who has been with me since the beginning and knows he has to stay in his cot, a part time 2 y o boy who has been brutal at nap time (he's a screecher) and a 1 yo. The 1 yo old woke up after 40 mins, I ignored her and she went back to sleep. the 2 yo just woke up, I went ot him just to lay him down and I smelled he was poopy. I changed him and now he is screeching for me. He is waking up the whole house. He frankly drives me crazy as this is what he does every week on Tues (comes Tues and Wed) and the Wed is better. I am going to tell the mom he has until June to start napping as it's too disruptive.

So, back to my question. Is it unrealistic to expect that I can just "set it and forget it" like I do with my girls? At least with my kids I am the only one that is ever putting them for naps so it is very consistent. Advice?

I think it is realistic once the child is adjusted to being with you. But since he only comes 2 days per week, that will be difficult. How do his parents put him to bed at home? DOes he go down easily for them? If they are doing things differently than you and you only have him 2 days...that will be touch to fix.

I have felt your pain. I had two that did this. I (always being the softie:)) always went to them and tried to soothe them back to sleep. When I spoke with the parents I had strict orders from them to let them "cry it out" as that is what worked for them at home. I had never done this before and sooooo didn't want to do that. This went on for almost a year. Then the parents approached me again as they were tired of getting crabby kids at home in the evenings (from not enough sleep)
So I thought I had better shape up before they got so frustrated they took their kids elsewhere.
Two days of "cry it out" and they both sleep for over two hours.........wish I would have listened a year ago :)

I have no problem letting them cry it out at all. I think Sunnydays is right though that all my pain on the Tues every week is a fools errand as he is better on Wed (still not great, but better) but by next week everything is all undone on me again.

I feel like such a horrible person though because he woke up my 1 y o dcg and once another kid is awake he stops crying but then the other kid is awake. I find myself resenting him and he's only 2 y o!

Don't feel bad! I totally know that feeling! DCB who I terminated a couple of months back, used to cry out in his sleep several times every naptime...sometimes he would sit up screaming and I would have to go and sush him back at least once every naptime (a stern "go to sleep" did the trick), but it disturbed the others' sleep and I never got any rest as I was always running up and down keeping him quiet. I resented him too :( I know it was not his fault, but it was ultra frustrating! He had so many other issues too...that they all compounded during naptime and made me feel a way I have never felt about a child. I was ashamed to admit it, but now I realize I am human...there are certain things I just cannot accept and cannot let roll off and certain personalities that I just don't jive with. Realizing this has freed me up in a way to allow myself to do what I know I must do, even when it is hard and I feel like a failure as a provider. I am trying to decide whether to terminate another child (ironically his replacement) now and I think I am almost there with giving myself permission to do it because I know it will make my days easier. This is not your fault! Go easy on yourself.

I highly recommend white noise machines. I have dck asleep in each of the bedrooms upstairs plus one down in the basement. Each room has a white noise machine plus I have one in the hallway upstairs as well. I have one dcg that wakes up screaming at the 40-45 minute mark which is typically their sleep cycles and I go in there lay her back down, she screams for a few minutes and goes back to sleep. If the sound is drowned out no one will be disturbed. I have bought mine all at Great Canadian Superstore, they are made by Conair, $24.99. Use the white noise setting.
I also do not change a poopy bum during naps either. Too disruptive.