Anyone else notice kids social interactions changing at 5 yrs old?

I have one DCG and my son who are both newly five year olds, and I've noticed their social interactions with the other kids and each other changing...these two have been together since they were both two years old, and frequently say they are best friends. They've gone to preschool together and are starting Kindergarten together in the fall. They play like siblings, and fight like siblings! But, what I've noticed lately is the DCG has started teasing (calling the other kids 'babies' or 'poopy heads', similar name calling; and taking away the smaller kids special 'lovies' and tossing them so the kids have to go get them, laughing all the while. The other kids usually give an unsure laugh at first, but then cry or get upset when they realize this is going to continue on and on, or that DCG isn't trying to play. With my son its not so much the teasing, but he seems to have all this energy when playing he sometimes gets too much in the other, smaller, kids space - like he's trying to get them to play along with a pretend game and gets right up close to them stomping and being loud trying to 'ramp' them up almost. Does that make sense? Anyhow, today he followed the lead of DCG and joined in on the teasing. When teasing starts, I'm quick to stop it, reminding them that they would not like this and would be sad if someone took their special items and threw them around. They've both started being much more verbal about their opinions - 'I don't like your picture (or whatever)' and the old 'you're not my friend any more!'. Its like they have no filter! Do you all just keep working on empathy reminders with them at this age? is this typical of five year olds? Where did my sweet preschoolers go?!:ohmy:

Sounds about right. It must be some type of developmental thing that they start behaving is way.

I say just be firm and swift with consequences so they know if is not okay to behave that way.

Oh, school completely changes children, make no mistake about it.

My mom always said that you loose some control over your kids once they start school. It is so true though because they now have all these social expectations and influences and their tecaher is now their "god."

I have seen this sort of behaviour with my 3 yo dcb who does what his school aged brother does. This has trickled on to my daughter...his older brother is no longer with me, that was just one of the reasons.

They haven't even started Kindergarten yet, but I knew it was likely coming. I actually let DCG's twin older brothers go earlier this year for the same reasons, they were 7 years old, and it was mostly the one brother (who she idolizes) that had the terrible attitude. I was hoping that since she has been with me longer and since a younger age that maybe it wouldn't be the same, but alas the 'cool' brother has won out in being the biggest influence on her behaviour. I had thought that some negative influences would happen once my son got into school, and was expecting this to start in the fall but a tiny part of me still hoped that he would stay sweet and kind :) Talking to DCG's mom today, she tells me that at her recent birthday party she was very mean to one of her best friends - apparently she opened the gift said "I hate this" and threw it away, then refused to acknowledge this girl for the rest of the party. Mom says that she didn't know what to do, but that she was embarassed and it was totally inappropriate. Today, I was on top of them all day long, reminding that it was not ok to tease, call other names, throw things around....it just makes me sad that kids are so easily influenced by their peers. And that they can be so mean to each other, even if they sometimes don't really know what they are doing at this age.

While it is normal to test at certain ages and stages, don't let this become an excuse to not deal with the behaviours. It sounds like you are doing your best, but the mom who said her child said she hated the gift and then wouldn't talk to her friend for the rest of the party...and she didn't know what to do? I would have laid down the law right then and there. That is extremely rude behaviour and no age or stage justifies it. I would have told the child to apologize and thank her friend for the gift and include her friend in her play or she could spend the rest of her party alone in her room...and I would be serious! Just because it's her birthday does not give her the right to be rude. I recently went to a birthday party of a school friend of my 5 year old. The child opened all of her gifts without saying one thank you...I was horrified! Parents really need to step up to the plate and teach their kids how to behave properly and politely (not saying you don't do this...it was the birthday story that got me going..LOL). There need to be consequences for being mean...it is not acceptable. You can remove priveleges, etc if you find them teasing. Just telling them will probably not have much effect until they feel the consequences of their actions.

Thanks Sunnydays, I'm with you completely on the party issue. I couldn't believe that a kid would do that! If that happened with my son, party would be over and gifts would be gone. That is totally unacceptable and extremely rude; after I heard this I had a talk with my son about his upcoming birthday, and that if he didn't get all the things he was hoping for that he still needed to say thank you to everyone and be happy that friends came and gave him a gift. It just drive me bonkers when kids expect to get whatever they want, whenever they want! He has been pining for a lego set for months now, but has to save up his own chore money to buy it :) Anyhow, I expected this kind of behaviour to start but its not going to happen here. DCG can be mouthy to her parents (which she is, as were her brothers, at pick up times - major tantrums at 5, 6, 7 years old!) but not at my house. When the teasing or picking on other kids starts, the teaser gets to go sit alone until they can play nicely with the other kids. This particular DCG often will burst into tears whenever you reprimand her, and go hide and cry rather than apologizing and coming back to play.