Child refused to come to care this morning

Hi there, I am new to the forum. I run a super casual daycare out of my home, and take care of mostly kids from my friends. I have a three year old girl, who is "best friends" with my daughter. Together they are VERY mischievous. Lately they have been fighting a lot. I have been stressed because of their behavior, and the weather has been awful. Today my friend messaged me and said that the child had a huge tantrum about coming today and will instead be going to her brothers DCP house and "did something happen". Needless to say I am pretty hurt. I feel like I have done something wrong by disciplining her daughter (they are VERY permissive), yesterday they did go into time out for ripping apart a box of wipes. She has "told" on me before, saying that I am "grumpy", "mad at her" which is not true, but I do stand my ground, dont give into them and they have consequences. She is more a parent who thinks their kids bad behavior is "cute". So upset ! I feel like I have been too harsh and now the kid hates me !

It is not harsh to discipline kids for misbehaviour. For a parent to give in to her 3 year old child's tantrum and send her some where else for the day as per the child's request, speaks volumes about this parent.
I don't think you've done anything wrong. I would explain the behaviours and consequences to the parent, explain her child pulled the tantrum because she doesn't like to be corrected at your house and explain that she just taught her daughter that a tantrum will get her whatever she likes.
If mom doesn't like her child to be disciplined then she needs to find somewhere else for her daughter to go, you can't have a child in your home that you are afraid to correct because of her mother's reaction.

One of the many reasons I do not provide care for family, neighbours, friends, and friends of friends

Oh my goodness, the best thing that could happen to you would be if that family doesn't come back. I know you said you are a very casual daycare but the simple fact is that child is the boss at that house. That's just wrong. She's going to grow up to be an out of control teenager and selfish woman.

I know because my children are grown and there were many days they hated me when they were children and teenagers. It's because I had rules and discipline. I was a PARENT! There were not allowed to run the house. NOW that they are grown we are all best friends, but you can't let your little child think of you as a friend, you must be a parent. It's as simple as that.

Continue with your rules at your home and daycare and your children will turn out great VenusMama