Daughter feeling left out. Vent.

So, I've had dcg for 3 years. My daughters the same age. They're best friends and adore each other. Dcg recently had a birthday. Mom tells me this year she's not having a party because she thinks kids party's are stupid. Anyhow, she lives 4 houses away from me and on dcg's birthday there are balloons outside, parents bringing kids in, etc. This is fine of course. The thing is the following week other kids from my daycare are telling my daughter 'we were invited to so and so's birthday party and YOU weren't. That's because so and so's mom thinks you're stupid and doesn't like you!' Its not my business at all. She can do whatever she likes for her family. But my 4.5 year olds feelings are very hurt because she loves her best friend, loves the family and admires dcg's mom and the worst thing is the other dck's rubbing it in her face(they're 3 and 6 and understand bring mean). I spoke to the kids about being kind and that we do not try to upset soneone by saying hurtful things.

Now this dcg has been saying 'my mom found me a new best friend her name is XXXX. Her mommy and my mommy drink lots of wine together and me and XXXX play.'

I know they're young and will make new friends, drift away from old friends and maintain status quo with other friends. My girl feels really left out and hurt right now. And I've tried comforting her but its difficult to explain to a 4 year old. I'm not trying to be petty because honestly, its not my business what other people do. I haven't said anything to dcm but I'm wondering why she would do things this way.

Sorry that your daughter has had to go through this, children can be so cruel at times. This is one reason why I will not enroll children at my daycare if I can see their house from my house. No neighbors allowed. I also reminded my children, once they could understand that the children that come to mommies daycare because it is a business. Of course they play together and need to be respectful but I did not encourage frienships outside of daycare.

Given that your talking to the children hasn't stopped the bragging I would probably say something to the mom with the idea. I assume you knew that my daughter would see the balloons and girls going into your house for the party you weren't planning to have. Yes as child xxxx's mom you have the right to invite whomever you want but I do not appreciate the way you lied to me about having the party in the first place. However that is not what this conversation is about. I have had to speak to your daughter and child VVV that was also invited about hurting other children's feelings by bragging and making them fell bad and so far they have not stopped. Starting tomorrow I will need to lay down the law in a tougher way because this is not the kind of behaviour I want any of the children to think is ok. I would suggest you speak with your daughter tonight about what she is doing, how she is making the other children feel and remind her that the consequence will be that she goes to time out for 3 minutes everytime she does not play/speak nicely. Then maybe add something like I am glad your daughter has a new friend to play with. My daughter has friends outside daycare as well but while all of the children are together in daycare they are each other's playmates and need to show respect for the feelings of each other.

There was something in what you wrote about the mom saying something negative about your daughter and the friend able to repeat it. That is the part that somewhat needs to be addressed. If child is such a problem why does she continue to bring her child to your house for daycare. At the same time is it time for the girls to both move on. Are they at the same school, have other mutual friends, what was their relationship like all Spring in terms of after school.