Suggestions for going forward...naps

I am curious to know what you would do in this situation and maybe I should have just left it alone.

My 3.5 dcb naps beautifully for me (hasn't napped for parents for 2 yrs). He is my first one asleep and usually sleeps the whole nap time. He has been coming to daycare kinda grumpy lately and complaining about naps. I asked mom how he has been settling at night and she told me he hasn't been tired as of late and has had a hard time settling (will be in his bed but talk to himself, kick the wall, be restless). Now, I know there are some behavioural/challenging his parents issues as well here (they parent with guilt and have a hard time setting limits at times).

My daughter who is the same age (who I thought would nap until University) seems to have outgrown her naps as well. She will lie in her bed and take a rest as that's what's expected but doesn't nap (I have a video monitor). The days she does take a nap she has a hard time settling and will lie awake in bed (her bedtime is 7:30). It seems the consensus on here is that kids must nap/rest which I agree with. Just wondering how people structure things when kids start to loose their nap

My playroom and nap room are downstairs so if a child is just not sleeping anymore or very little, I will put them on the playroom couch with a pillow and blanket plus some books and a small favorite toy. I let them know they must rest and stay where they are (make sure they have used the potty) until I come and get them. I tell them it is o.k. if they sleep. I will usually get them up after an hour or hour and a half depending if they did fall asleep. My nappers usually sleep 21/2 - 3 hrs.

I had a 3.5 year old ( now off to school ) and once I hit the summer before he went to school I cut out naps. He was a very settled, quiet kid by nature so I didn't have to entertain him. I would offer him the opportunity to either craft with my kids (the big kids) or sit quietly on the couch with a movie. If he felt he was tired he's lay on the couch and fall asleep.

He had challenges going to bed at night as well, however, I believe kids take what they need. If they need to sleep then they need to sleep. I certainly wasn't going to force his eyes open with toothpicks just so mom and dad could get him into a normal bedtime routine.

I think you hit the nail on the head... the parents obviously don't set bounderies at home. I've had kids that don't go right to sleep at night, but they know to lay to still and quiet. It's important to rest your body.

I have a playroom that has curtains. So, I could have a child stay on a sleep mat or coushin with books, colours, etc. if I wasn't going to use the TV. You could also use an egg timer, put it on for 2 hours and let them know that when the timer beeps then you're all done. That way they're not constantly bothering you "is quiet time over yet? "

I hope that's helpful to your situation.

I have my two sometimes mappers in a different area of the house from the actual nappers (the young ones are upstairs in bedrooms, these two are on nap mats on the floor in the playroom). They both must lie down and rest quietly for at least an hour and a half, and if they're awake after that I will bring them out to hang out with me for the remainder of nap time.

I have a Gro clock in one nap room and a nap-night light (onaroo time to wake owl) in the other. They both light up and have different colors for sleep/wake time. I've found them both to be effective for my own kids (grow clock is better because you can set a timer for map and night time sleep, the other you can only set one, it repeats every 24 hours). I recommend them both as they are visual reminders that they should still be sleeping. It doesn't require them making noise to ask me when they can get up.

I also give them those tag readers with a few books each, but they are still expected to quietly and independently read, not talk to each other. I find these work for the older kids because they are more entertaining than regular books, but not so much that they can resist closing their eyes if they need to. On days that I think a nap is imminent or necessary, I won't give them the tags either.

Maybe question the parents if they have a night light in his room. My son (same age) was going to bed at night, talking to himself forever! He went to bed at 8 and I would sometimes go in at 11 and he would still be awake!!! We took his night light away and now he is asleep within 20 minutes of going to bed:) He also still naps an hour and a half every afternoon.