New DCG

I take part time kids but only older ones (3+ yrs) as a way to have more kids without adding more babies and giving my two 3.5 yr olds some additional playmates.

I had a dcg start today and mom lingered at drop off a bit when her daughter was already playing. I get it, first time leaving your kid with someone you want to check things out. The girl was happy doing free play but she arrived just as we are going to transition into circle time (I delayed it a couple mins as we waited for her arrival. Once I signaled for free play to end and start circle time she freaked out screaming and crying for mom (for 10 or so mins). I invited her to join us but continued on with circle time (while she screamed) and towards the end she was digging it and stopped crying announcing "I feel much better now."

We have snack next and she refused to join us for snack (the rule is everyone sits even if you're not hungry). She refused and started making a big fuss and we had just met so I wasn't going to push it too much. We get all ready to go outside and the kids are all excited. She's in the playhouse and won't come out to go outside. Unless I physically carry her outside I had no luck getting her to go out. My group was disappointed but I introduced a game instead for them (new dcg did not play) and then we did a craft which new dcg did and loved. Our outside time is vitally important for me and my group...what else can I do?

I have always had good luck with the older kids and I have never had a kid that completely refused to do anything I said.

I am going to talk to mom about it so she can get her on our schedule more at home...I just don't want to be in a position where we can't go outside. I physically couldn't carry her as I have 3 babies I need to assist up the stairs (unless I bring them up one at a time and place them in the stroller at the top of the steps and then carry new dcg kicking and screaming outside.) I understand that she doesn't know me/trust me but she was just outright defiant.

Silver lining she really likes free play and I have learned crafts. She also joined us for lunch and ate!

Maybe try doing craft after outside time, tell her that if she is good and listens well then we can do craft when we come back. If she doesn't listen then she can sit out.

I might be a little old school, but if I tell the kids we're going outside, then we're going outside. If one child refuses, then that child is being picked up and carried outside....like it or lump it. She can sit on the deck and scream, but that's what's going to happen. I know what you mean about outside time being crucial to the group. Ugh....days without outdoor play are horrendous! It's hard to make them sit for snack, participate in crafts, etc. But if we're going to be in a certain place at a certain time, then that's what's happening.

She probably gets away with deciding what happens next a lot at home so now it is time to establish who's in charge. The important parts of our day like outside play, story time, meals, naps everyone participates in, no negotiating. If you don't nip this in the bud, the other kids will catch on and start fussing when you announce the next activity.

I agree with you totally and I am the same way (it was really hard for me to not just pick her up and carry her outside!) I was a bit unprepared for this (and completely surprised as it had never happened before) as I didn't have the stroller set up and waiting so I could bring the little ones up then bring up DCG. My kids all know the expectations but I was also was sensitive to the fact that this is her first day. She didn't get any attention for her melt downs (no comforting, hugs etc) but she did unfortunately get her way. The set up I have makes it difficult to go outside unless I have them cooperate (come up the stairs, around to a gate that leads into the backyard.)

I emailed mom and I get the sense that they just "wait out" her meltdowns which isn't going to fly here. We move on to the next activity and they come as well.

Yes, unfortunately now she's going to think that if she makes a big enough fuss that she won't have to follow your routines. Nip that in the bud now!

She was here today and things went much better. She freaked out for the first half an hour but I continued on with the program. When it was time to go outside, I was all ready to carry her out (had her shoes in my bag and the little ones strapped in the stroller and she magically "got it together" got her shoes on and went outside with us. She kind of kept to herself but participated in all the activities.