Not sure if I'm rapidly approaching burn-out...(warning long vent lol)

I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I'm in a slump or if I'm getting seriously burnt-out :(

I've had my day home for almost three years and used to love it. Now most days by 8 or 9 am I can't wait for the parents to come pick up the dhc. Something's got to change or I feel like I'm going to have to find a new line of work :(

I have 7 kids in rotation. 3 are full time, FT dhg-3(almost 4) is challenging, but is a good friends daughter and is honestly like a second daughter to me, so she's here to stay. 4 are pt on differing days, I never have more than 6 at a time (a. it would be over ratio and b. I think I'd go insane! lol).

FT Dhg-30 months is good most of the time, but when she's off, she's OFF. She doesn't seem to have a lot of routine at home, doesn't get enough sleep IMO and I can certainly tell when she hasn't slept. She goes from zero to full on tantrum over anything in 10 seconds. This morning it was trying to put her sock back on that fell off, then it was because she had to wait for my attention for 2 min while I greeted two dhb at the door. She has been like this since day one and has definitely gotten better with my structure, but some days are horrible.

FT Dhb-31 months started out okay (has been with me for 3 months) has his challenges sharing, but that's normal. Since dhm has told me she's pregnant and that he's aware he has been acting out big time. Physically grabbing toys out of other children's hands, shoving, hitting, grabbing other dhc by the shirts and knocking them down, throwing toys, playing violently with toys, etc. I have spoke with dhm and she said he's acting out at home too a bit, but I get the feeling that he's allowed to play rough with his toys at home. Dhm also insists on letting him bring toys and books from home and then making me the bad guy when I say no (my policy is no outside toys except for loveys if needed).

Then I have sibblings, who are three days a week pt dhb-25 months and pt dhb-4, they have been with me for a year. They both play quite physically with each other (they are allowed to rough-house at home) and other dhc. Pt dhb-4 is a questioner, everything is why and a whine or an 'I don't waaaaaant tooooooo', which doesn't go over well with me. I've taken advice from others in the forum and have told him after the second time I've answered him I'm not repeating myself again. That seems to have helped on that front a bit, but there's a long way to go. He needs to have everyone pay attention to him constantly, me or the other dhc "look at me" is his mantra and will harrass the other dhc to 'look at what I'm doing' whining repeatedly at them until they finally look. I remind him that not everyone wants to play or look at what he's doing, but he doesn't seem to understand that. He also usually refuses to participate in any activities we have like crafts, colouring, preschool work, etc. or he'll start out for 1 min and then say he's done.
Pt dhb-25 months is very physical when he doesn't like something, like when dhb-31 months takes his toys, but is good otherwise. When I speak to this dhm I feel as if my concerns aren't taken seriously and have been told repeatedly that 'boys will be boys' and isn't it great to see his, dhb 25m, personality coming out? !?!?! Dhm also repeatedly asks me to make sure that I'm complimenting the positive things dhb 4 is doing and downplay the negative things. Now I do make sure to focus on positive as much as I can, I always tell them good job for sharing, doing as asked, etc. but I'm not going to ignore when they are misbehaving and/or being physical. I feel as if she doesn't think I'm capable and that all I do is berate her kids all day, which is not the case at all! I'm finding myself escpecially frustrated with these dhc and dhm. I have had a 'run in' with dhm in the past.

I also have a dhg who is one day a week, she constantly whines that she wants her mommy and throws tantrums. I'm 95% sure I'm going to cut them loose, my drop in fee doesn't seem worth it.

Sorry for the long winded post, I needed to get everything out and 'down on paper' and vent.

Basically, my bad days now seem to outnumber my good days. The dhc all seem to feed off of one another and when one is acting up the rest follow suit. I have problems with them jumping off of the couches in the playroom, dumping entire toy bins on the floor and refusing to clean up on almost a daily basis. Time outs don't seem to work. I've tried removing privledges, such as no snack if you choose not to clean, that works on a couple of the kids, but dhb-4 seems to think that's okay, he'd rather not clean. So it's not a good consequence for him.

Any advice on how to save myself from the looney bin? lol I do want to continue on with day home, I'm not sure if I need to make some changes in what kids I have, with my policies and rules or what. I'm a complete people-pleaser, so the thought of having to term some families makes me ill, especially as some are in the neighborhood and I don't want to make things weird.
I don't know if I'm being too strict, but that's how I am with my own dd. I don't believe that children get to run amok and make the rules. I also don't do everything for them, I believe part of my job is to teach them and give them the tools on how to do things for themselves (such as washing hands, getting dressed for outside, following rules, etc.).

It sounds like you need to start getting rid of the problem kids one family at a time starting with the worst ones and replacing with new better fitting children/families. I purchased four free standing pantry cupboard with doors from Canadian tire and I arranged my toys in them and I put child locks on the doors ... So each day I open a different door (or not if they are misbehaving) and this way there are not so many toys out at one time and its a great firm of toy rotation and at the end of the day it's neat and tidy. I have done things that are out all the time like puppets, cars, mr potato head, Duplo, dolls, book centre, kitchen centre, push tots like shopping carts and doll strollers abd lawn mowers, tool bench, ect but I have locked up most if the toys and only have a few bins (most with lids) and so not too overwhelming when it comes to tidy up time. If the kids come to me and ask me to open a new bin of something I look around and say ok you put away all the cars and ill open this because we have too many toys out and we need more room to play.
You need to find each kids currency .... In other words what makes them tick ... Some kids it's time out, some it's removal if a toy, some it's sitting in their chair by themselves watching everyone play .... And use that as leverage.... No point giving a time out if the kid doesn't care.
For the past year I had a boy that asked why all day too ... Finally I said to him "you think about it and see if you can come up with the answer" ....usually he just went about his business and forgot that he asked.... Really it's just a habit . I had brothers and recently the older one left for school (he was the one asking why all the time) and they roughhoused as well and mom did admit that dad wrestled with them ... I told her it was not appropriate for daycare and they are unable to differentiate between home and daycare and they are "taking out " the other kids thinking that's how you play. I had to be on them all the time .... It's not so bad now that brother is gone but I still have to watch cause the younger one is a bully.
It's your combination if children that are making you hate your days but I'm sure you already are aware of this. I would suggest terming (even though its hard) cause sometimes you just have to remove certain children and the whole tone of your days change.

One thing I've done to help alleviate some of my stress is reinstate rest time for the older kids. I used to let them play quietly, but it always ended up not being quiet and me constantly harping on them that they were being too loud. So now for the first hour, they have to laydown with a book and be quiet/rest. It's helping a bit which is good, gives me a much needed break midday.

Thanks for the feedback, I like the idea of putting a bunch of the toys away and only bringing out one at a time. I'm thinking I need to term some too, but I don't know how to go about it, I've never termed anyone before, I've always just sucked it up and waited until they moved on.

One of the problems with so many part time kids is that there is no chance for the to develop a pecking order to the pack and to figure out where they fit in so it is a constant battle each day. Each one is trying to be the most important one. It effects how much attention each one gets from you ie days the baby is there and not there or who usually gets the dolly with the pink clothes and who gets the dolly with the red clothes because that changes. I find now that my group is the same that they have developed their unwritten code and that is A's dolly and that is C's dolly and the fighting is done.

I would at least for awhile put some of the toys away if pick up is an issue. Limit everything to the number of kids so there is no fighting so 2 hotwheels per child not a whole bin, etc. Bring out more for a treat and then they go back again.

Also if the room is simply getting trashed rather than played in then it is a sign of boredom. Rethink what is offered and decide if they have outgrown some of the toys or add in more group times where you play with them with the blocks or farm set and show them how to interact with the pieces and each other, taking turns, waiting, etc.

Find a way to separate the play either by type or age so that the kids aren't all in each other faces and a lot of the issues go away too. Then it becomes smaller groups doing something in a far off corner of the room and much calmer for everyone.

Rethink those that come less than 3 days a week and decide if the days they are there are your worst days. Those that never feel part of the group often act out to get noticed like the one day a week child who thinks everyone else is there for them.

I feel for you. I didn't realize how hard this job could be some days. So many different personalities and some days no breaks at all.
I agree with the other suggestions... Eliminate the family that is giving the most grief and see how things go. Also, dont stress so much about your program. Some days we have more energy, the kids are all in great moods other days they are cranky as are we and no one plays/eats/naps well.
I have had a crappy past few weeks. I think its alot to do with my pregnancy hormones and my level of fatigue. I am 16 weeks pregnant and still nursing my 18month old. I put so much pressure on myself to do so much with the kids, crafts, walks, cook homemademeals for lunch that I have stopped doing that now. If I am having a good energy day then I go with it, if not I don't fret about it if I served Kraft Dinner or Grilled cheese 2 days in a row for lunch and let the kids watch a video or two.

Thanks for the ideas and support ladies :)

I ended up terming my dhg who is one day a week this morning. I hated having to do it, but I think it's the right thing for myself, the other dhc and her. She had a complete meltdown fit when dhm dropped her off, I had to carry her kicking and screaming upstairs to the main level and she screamed and cried for 10 min, calmed down for a few but still refused to come join the group. Then she started crying harder and saying "I don't want to be here, I want Mommy". So I called dhm, she came to get her and that was that.
It feels as if a small weight has been lifted, so I'll see how things go with the group as it is now for a bit and make a decision if I need to term anyone else.