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One of my 14 month olds is just really unlikeable!! It makes me a bit sad for him. Not anything I can even explain or behaviour i can correct but just an unpleasant personality and the other kids seem to notice and avoid him. Sadly, the kind of kid you are happy is not yours. No point to this post, just blabbing ha ha!
Kids pick up on these things. Hopefully as time goes on things get better and his personality changes. Sometimes it just takes a few months for them to really shine.
I had one of those last year. He was sweet and well behaved but was very weird, and unfortunately....ugl y :O (sorry!!!!!!!) I treated him just as wonderfully as I treated the others but in my head I had a lower patience level and just a feeling of non-liking. I hated that I felt that way! He left when Mom went on Mat leave, so he's not here anymore.
It's funny, this is a very important "protective factor" or "marker" when doing mental health assessments. One of the areas that is looked at is "likability" because it can be quite difficult for those kids that have behaviour issues and also are just unlikable vs. that little cutie that does something "bad" but has a devilish smile and a dimple to boot (and maybe gets a little more leeway then). I definitely have met kids I just don't like and unfortunately like Lou said this can impact our patience with them etc.
Yep, you always tend to feel bad for these kids. My ds, behaviour issues and all, still has his teachers and ea's eating out of his hand because he's likeable. My busy little dcb that is VERY active and into everything is one of the most likeable kids I've ever watched.... yet I had a dcg last year who was well behaved, (once she settled in with me), quiet, but a tad bit strange and "unlikeable". I had to work that much harder with her to keep patience :(
I have one now... But my perception of him has turned around lately. I'm starting to warm up to him a bit.
I think my prejudice to him had mainly to do with him not being potty trained (at 3.5 - I'm sorry but there's something more gross about changing a diaper when the kid can talk to me in full sentences while I do it) and his uninvolved and aloof parents. But potty training aside, he's easy. And his parents are confident in me and thankful of what I do.
So weird eh? He is no bother at all...just not likeable. I've had both his older siblings and one was the same!!
It's hard when we don't know where we stand with a child in the sense that they don't give the same kind of feedback. Do they want me to hug them, give a cuddle, give them more space - sometimes we are left wondering and as a result sort of retreat ourselves. The other kids have the same problem and don't go out of their way to include the child so they are sort of there but invisible.