A Sign of Things to Come?

This is a bit of a vent, a bit of advice seeking.

I signed a family about two months ago for care starting this month. They paid a holding fee upon signing of the contract, and with that, the mother decided (and I agreed) that this would cover a couple of "adjustment days". Fine. Last week, he came for his adjustment days with mom, but then came alone after that for a full day on the Thursday. I thought I would be paid for that, as per our contract, that was to be his official start date. I assumed when I wasn't paid, that they forgot that I was to be paid in advance. NOPE. They came to pick him up, did not pay me for that day, nor did they pay me yet for this week. Most passive-aggressively, I posted a notice on my website saying, "just a reminder - full payment is due the week before...etc etc".I am able to see who visits my site, and I know that this mother has been to the site both yesterday and today. No text, no call, nothing. Should I say something, or wait til they show up on Thursday of this week?

Anyway, I am already thinking that signing this family was a mistake. The boy is 16 months old, and is very aggressive. He already shows a marked temper that his mother does not correct. He was kicking her, hitting her in the face (in anger!), and although I could tell she was embarassed, she said nothing to him. She even joked with me a few times about his "anger issues". Each time he did not get his way, he would throw things, hit, arch his back and growl like a bear, with a face to match. Several times, he threw himself on the floor and screamed with frustration. And this was over the course of three days!

I am afraid!! I guess I should give it a few weeks before I condemn this family as a bad one, right? Right?

I re-did my manual/contract. Parents must pay me at drop-off for the week on the first day of care or they do not receive care. Noted in there as well, it's a $20/day for any late fees (to prevent parents from doing so). SO far, no parent has paid late, and I'm ready to turn parents and kids away if I don't get my pay at the beginning of each week.

For the child misbehaving on your property, I would fix the problem if mom isn't willing to do so. Also in my policy, it states that parents and children alike must respect each other and anyone on my property. For people who don't respect others and my property receive 1 strike (it's a 3-strikes and you're out - no 2 weeks notice). And I will let them know that this behaviour is unacceptable.

I would try this - and if it doesn't work after a week, give them notice. It will only continue.

Ah. I actually do have it in my contract that I can terminate without notice for non-payment or physical or verbal abuse, and if a child is a danger to others. I guess I can choose any of these reasons then, huh?

Still not sure if I should wait or just terminate now...he hasn't even started yet, but I haven't decided if that works FOR them or AGAINST them, if you know what I mean.

Sure do - I would give it a week, and then term. But def demand pay before the next day....I don't give services if they don't pay!

When it comes to the payment issue; I would tackle that IMMEDIATELY. That way you set the tone for the future, if there ends up being one. I absolutely hate talking to people/ reminding/ nagging about fees. I hate that more even than talking to parents about kids behaviour issues, lol.
When it comes to his behaviour; again, set the tone RIGHT NOW. My handbook discusses the fact that when you are on my property, MY rules apply. If mom isn't dealing with it; and it probably is because she's embarrassed, then I would be. I have a 5 y/o that still acts up sometimes when picked up (especially by mom). When I noticed that she wasn't saying anything, I started to. He would whack his mom in the stomach when she would say she was making something for dinner that he didn't like!! I was horrified. In the usual, firm voice that I would normally use to reprimand, I began to remind him that we do not use our hands that way, to anyone, Mommies included. And that his mom's presence did NOT change our rules. Really, I was sending a message to mom that she begin to control her child or I would. Pick up goes much more smoothly now.
I think my threshold for tolerance extends to about a month, perhaps more like 6 weeks if the child is part time or inconsistently attending. I try to remember that as trying as it is at the beginning, kids do learn fairly quickly that certain behaviours are tolerated at home but not at daycare. However, as always, the bottom line is: if it's making you (and therefore everyone else, haha) miserable, then it's not worth it. Your home, your rules, your happiness.

Ok so at hubby's prompting, I sent an email out today. Kinda went like this,

"Hi Blahblah,

Just a reminder about payment for ___'s care. I work on a weekly pay schedule. Payment is due the week before attendance (as per contract). I require payment this Thur for (DATES) and for next weeks care as well, so that we can continue working together. The total due is ___. Thanks so much and I look forward to seeing you and ___ again."

UGH! Why do I feel badly asking for something that is due to me?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

Ok so at hubby's prompting, I sent an email out today. Kinda went like this,

"Hi Blahblah,

Just a reminder about payment for ___'s care. I work on a weekly pay schedule. Payment is due the week before attendance (as per contract). I require payment this Thur for (DATES) and for next weeks care as well, so that we can continue working together. The total due is ___. Thanks so much and I look forward to seeing you and ___ again."

UGH! Why do I feel badly asking for something that is due to me?

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It's a crappy feeling but not cool as these parents are the ones at fault for making you feel this way. If she doesn't make payment 1st thing tomorrow have a chat with her. Peoplle have more respect for us when we draw clear lines.

Good luck if you don't speek up they will walk all over you. Remember your the boss of your home business!

Keep us posted and good luck!

She replied and said that payment on Thursday was no problem, but then went on to add that she was confused as to why she paid three weeks' holding fees if she was not able to send him for free...I explained the premise of a holding fee by quoting the contract that she read and signed. She does not seem very pleased, but she has agreed to pay up. Keep in mind as well that she came with him TWICE last week and did not pay, and then dropped him off at my house for 4 hours on Thursday without paying me, but still expected the next three weeks to be free, as she paid a very nominal holding fee (which worked out to be less than $100 dollars, and they signed in June!). My word!

I guess I'll give it a week or two before I decide what to do next, but between her expecting me to work for free and her son's issues, I am not optimistic.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

She replied and said that payment on Thursday was no problem, but then went on to add that she was confused as to why she paid three weeks' holding fees if she was not able to send him for free...I explained the premise of a holding fee by quoting the contract that she read and signed. She does not seem very pleased, but she has agreed to pay up. Keep in mind as well that she came with him TWICE last week and did not pay, and then dropped him off at my house for 4 hours on Thursday without paying me, but still expected the next three weeks to be free, as she paid a very nominal holding fee (which worked out to be less than $100 dollars, and they signed in June!). My word!

I guess I'll give it a week or two before I decide what to do next, but between her expecting me to work for free and her son's issues, I am not optimistic.

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This lady is sending huge red flags. When I read your OP I thought that she probably thought her 3 week holding fee (which I assumed was equivalent to 3 weeks FEES) paid for her first three weeks and was mistaken based on how you do business. So, I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt due to miscommunication/misunderstanding.

BUT.............

Then I read that she was upset after the email you sent?? And then I read that her holding fee was less than $100???? Um....I'm pretty sure she can do basic math and knows that two days with her present, plus two and a half days with him alone in your care is FAR more than $100 worth of fees!!!!

The behaviour?? Meh, see it ALL the time when the kids are with their parents. As long as they are not doing that on MY watch then all is well with me. I can't control what kids do while in their parents care but I CAN and WILL control how they act in MY care. I would nip that behaviour in the butt!!

Yeah, mom is sending red flags as far as payment is concerned. I would fix that ASAP. And if she doesn't get on board and pay you on time NOW and for the next payment she would be GONE.