Parents accusing me

What a lovely start to my morning! Dcd walks in and says dcg has a bite on her leg and I never told them about it. I saw a bruise on her leg in the morning but didn't think anything about it as she is very active and often comes in with bruises. Dcd wants a plan of action from me. They haven't been happy with me since I made changes in September to my contract. Any ideas on what to do going forward? Part of me wants to tell them to walk as I felt very disrespected in my own home but they have been with me a long time.

Sometimes it is the ones that have been there the longest that become our worst clients because they develop a air of entitlement.

That is kind of an unusual place to get bitten and then to not react when it happened to alert you. You don't say how old the child is but if they have been with you a long time assuming she is not a baby but able to tell you if something like that happens. Is it really a bite or just a bruise?

Plan of action for what ..... is child not able to tell you or to say no to a child bothering them or do you need to institute a head to toe search of child for bruises on arrival to protect yourself - some daycare centres actually do this and make the parent wait while it is done.

Sounds like dad is having a bad day and not really thinking straight. He may have underlying concerns about the development of his child in relation to peers - ie does she seem behind or too quiet or too sensitive or anything that sets her up to be bullied.

A child falling on a toy with corners will get "teeth" looking marks too so unless there is actual indents of teeth then doubt that she actually got bit - ever stepped on the corner of a block you will know what I mean. What makes him think she got bit?

She's 2.5 and very verbal. She did get a partial bite last week from a new dcb but it was dealt with and she has been in my sight since then to make sure it didn't happen again. I am planning to call mom at lunch to chat I just don't know where to start. He spoke like she's practiclly in danger here then says bye and is out the door while I stand dumbfounded.

I'd just explain it exactly as you did, that she's been in your sight to prevent it, and she didn't cry or say anything that would make you think she was being bitten. In my experience kids lose their freaking minds when they're bit, regardless of how much it hurt. I think you'd have noticed. Maybe ask if there's a possibility that she could have been bitten elsewhere or fallen on a toy.

Maybe also ask mom if they have any other concerns. This could be dads [crappy] way of dealing with something else that's bothering them. I know you mentioned they weren't happy with the new changes, if they're going to try to be looking for reasons to pull her, I'd try to get ahead of it.

I wouldn't worry about it. A similar thing happened to me once. I had a new boy start at my daycare. He was here maybe about 2 weeks when one of the other boys scratched him on the neck while playing. Dad freaked on me. I just told him that kids will be kids and things will happen. The other boy was disciplined accordingly and that is the best I could do. Needless to say they pulled him out of daycare a week later.

We can't watch children constantly all day long and even then kids can do things to other kids right in front of us. If you are in the process of working with the biting child to quit biting the other parents should be patient and understanding as hard as it may be, if it was their child doing it they would want the same from the other parents.

I say just ignore the whole situation. If dad brings it up again tell him you didn't see it happen and that you are working with the other child to curb the bad behaviour. If they pull their child then so be it.

Thanks all. I had a long chat with dcm and recieved an apology from dcd this morning. Apparently they were more upset about last weeks bite than they seemed. I made it clear I am working with dcb who is new and very young on not biting. It's just very surprising coming from this family. Less than 2 years ago I watched their son who was the biter! You'd think they would be more empathetic. Either way, I made it clear they need to trust me and I don't tolerate accusations like that. I hate putting my foot down but I'm glad you took it ok.

Funny how parents forget things when the shoe is on the other foot - now they know what it was like for the children their son was biting. Same when parents of older kids whine that we do crafts less or go out less when there is a new baby in care - their child was that baby that stifled life for awhile once upon a time. There are rites of passage in daycare and everyone needs to take their turn going through it.

Exactly playfelt!

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Originally Posted by playfelt

Funny how parents forget things when the shoe is on the other foot - now they know what it was like for the children their son was biting. Same when parents of older kids whine that we do crafts less or go out less when there is a new baby in care - their child was that baby that stifled life for awhile once upon a time. There are rites of passage in daycare and everyone needs to take their turn going through it.

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Well put Playfelt!