Need some encouragement and advice. Please.

Good morning ladies!

I am feeling very down and discouraged and like I am just failing as a mother, wife and care provider. In a nutshell here are my last few months...

-August, rear ended on highway. I slowed down to 80 for construction, guy behind me did not, hit me going around 120-130. His car is totaled. Mine is undriveable but ultimately fixable. Was on my way out of town for 'girls weekend' with my daughter. 3 hours from home. Go to hospital to get us checked out, find out I am 5 weeks pregnant.

-Have whiplash, quite badly, a concussion and am stressed to HERE about this poor little baby having a start like this. Doctor says 50/50 the pregnancy will miscarry due to accident in the next few weeks. Thank God my daughter is okay. Baby is okay now, I'm 19 weeks. So thankful it's okay.

-Since then , it's been insurance company battles for fixing my vehicle, getting reimbursed for kids car seat involved in the crash, car rental.

-My neck and head are killing me. I frequently have severe headaches and migraines, for which I can take only tylenol. It does nothing. I've been doing chiro since the accident. Just started physio And massage.

This pain is sometimes incapacitating and the headaches are unbearable. I've not taken a day off work due to any of this. But my house and laundry are so far behind, I I have difgiculty being 'present' due to fatigue, pain, stress. I am not able to be the wife and mother I used to be and want to be and the recovery seems so long and out of reach. I feel like I am failing and it makes me cranky. And breaks my heart. The physio and chiro tell me patient is all I can be and know it will slowly improve.

I just guess I need encouragement. So sorry to whine. And anyone been through whiplash? What helped you the most? I know it's not the end of the world but I am struggling lately.

I had a pretty bad accident in 2007 where I had severe whiplash. I did not want to take painkillers as the ones strong enough to make a difference would leave me unable to function well enough to properly care for my own children. First off, how is your insurance coverage? Do you not have coverage for caregivers allowance or income replacement? This wouldn't cover everything but would mean you could take some time off without a total loss of income. I think it is very important to acknowledge that after a car accident you need to take some time off work to rest and even more so being pregnant. Secondly, I would go and see a personal injury lawyer. A good one will not charge you for a consultation and as this is a claim against the other driver who is considered at fault, not yourself, then you have a really good case and could get a substantial pay out even after the lawyers fee which may enable you to take early Mat Leave and extended time off without the worry of losing your income. I think in an ideal world the best thing you could do if money wasn't an issue, is take time off to really get yourself together, a chance to have some real physical recuperating time and also mentally to give yourself a break. In addition I would go and see a Naturopathic doctor who may be able to safely help with pain relief which is suitable for you while you are pregnant. Ask about castor oil packs for your injuries....I'm not 100% sure if they are safe for pregnant women but they are all natural and are worth enquiring about because I am sure they would help with the whiplash.

I am so sorry to hear of your tough year...it always seems like when it rains it pours. I am sure you are doing the best you can and don't beat yourself up about it. Take Care. :flower:

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this! I was six month pregnant when my car was hit by a city bus. It's very scary for your unborn baby! I would first start by saying get a lawyer for sure! They will fight for your rights when your insurance company tries to cut off you physio, etc. and they will whether you are better or not. Second, (I'm 90% sure) you have an allowance of around $300-$400 per month so that you can pay somebody to help you do all your chores around the house. Third, I'm not sure what your insurance policy is for car rentals, or what issue you are having with the company regarding your rental, but you have a certain amount of money to spend on your car rental, if you have rental coverage. You are allowed a similar sized vehicle to cover you for the days your car is being repaired, up to the total amount you have to spend. Also, your insurance company has to pay you to replace the car seat. Once a car seat is in one accident it is no longer good. And that is all covered in the insurance you pay for, again depending on your coverage. But I'm pretty sure basic insurance would cover that. But you do have to buy a new one and provide them with the receipt and they will pay you back. But I cannot stress enough for you to get a lawyer. And go to your physio and whatever else you are doing on a regular basis no matter how busy you are, just go. If you stop going that indicates to the insurance comp that you feel better even if that isn't why you stopped going as often. My husband used to be in the insurance business, so I picked up on a few things, plus from my accident. Hope things get better! Just keep going and think positive!