Transition process

How do you all transition in new children, particularly 12month olds?

I have my 5th child joining soon, another 12month old. The parents wanted to come and spend 2-3 hrs here for a few days with their child.

I told them that wouldn't work that I would have them out for an hour over the weekend and they can come 15min before I open and leave after 30min before my 2nd child arrives. I have a little boy who is easy going and awesome but can not handle random adults in the daycare. When my last girl started he was perfectly fine except during the girls drop-off and pick-ups he would SCREAM until the other kids mom left...twice a day, every day for just over a week. Then bam, perfectly fine and now waves to the mom and smiles. That mom was great about it and she was in and out very quickly and dressed her child upstairs out of the daycare so the boy would calm faster. We communicated through emails since I couldn't even discuss her child's days as the screamer was just so, well, screamy!!

I explained this to the new family and explained that having their child start off with another child screaming and clinging to me helps no one. The other child that started was the easiest kid ever and didn't care at all.

They said they will follow my lead on this but that they are surprised they can't come and stay for the first few days.

Is it common to have parents stay in the program at first? Do the other children accept this? What do you do when parents are sitting there in the room for hours?

The family doesn't seem to mind, they understand as I explained why. But I would like to know what others do should a family in the future make this request again!

*I allow parents to come for interviews during my workday. This allows them to see me with the other children, me to see their child with the group and them to see how I interact with their child and the group as a whole. (keep in mind I am in MB though so at the most, I only have 3-4 kids when I'm doing an interview. I also plan it for a day or time when numbers are lower and it's free play)

*I allow half days for the first 2 weeks at half the fee IF the parents ask (I think only one or maybe 2 have done this)

*I ask that parents make it quick at drop off's(and explain why I ask this) but I am a bit more slack with this in the beginning. I don't mind if pick ups take awhile as long as they aren't my last child lol. I have allowed parents to come by for an hour or two with their child for a visit. There is no fee for this and the child leaves when the parent does. I find it also shows the child that this lady is okay cuz mom obviously likes her and is her "friend" (even though, I am not friends with any of my dcp's outside of dc lol) This visit has to be pre-arranged with me though as I plan my day around it.

*It really is case by case for me. Some children don't care if their parent hangs around and for some it is just too hard on them so quick drop off's work better. My other dck's don't really care either way but they do start to get silly if a parent stays too long. Now that my handful is gone, this has decreased drastically and the parents staying and chatting isn't a huge problem anymore.

I feel that because we usually work alone, it takes more for a parent to fully trust us. If that means a few times of longer drop off's or unexpected early pick ups than that is fine with me. I have nothing to hide and want my dcparents to feel comfortable with me and to know they can trust me. I find that eventually the "spying" goes away after the trust is there and than all is good :) I try to put myself in their shoes....how would I feel leaving my loved one with a stranger and not have any other adults to "report" back to me on what goes on during the day.

I do interviews in the evenings so parents can meet my whole family and I can focus my energy on the interview and not have to run around after the kids. After they have signed the contract and provided a deposit I do a bit of a transition which consists of usually two play dates that are one hour in length, parent comes with child and I plan so that the play date is during free play so we just chill out, chit chat and get to know each other and the new child gets familiar with the surroundings. And it's free of charge. Parents love this. I find it's a nice little intro for them, although I would be lying if I said I loved it...depending on the parent I guess. If I were in the parents shoes and a provider flat out refused that I come over in any kind of way I would be outta there. I want parents to feel comfortable bringing their child here; letting them be a part of your day, even a small part, goes a long way.

For myself I interview outside of work hours just so that I can give the family my full attention. I also do not allow parents to stay when dropping off either. I feel like it confuses the child who doesn't understand why Mommy can stay sometimes and then why she can't others. I find the sooner the child can start to rely on me to be the place of comfort in my home the sooner they transition. I am hopefully going to be filling a spot soon. The mom asked if she could stay and I told her no and my reason. I did say that if she felt more comfortable bringing him for half days for the first week (full-time pay) that I was OK with that. It is going to be hard on everyone for the first while and we all know that. I did tell mom that quick drop off's are best. So we'll see how things go (if they do decide to bring their child here). I told mom that I could send her photos and texts during the day to let her know how things are going. She seemed to understand where I was coming from.

I never allow a dcparent to be IN my daycare while other kids are here. It's not safe, IMO. I don't know these people! They all sit in our living rooms and ask if we have police checks, if the other people in our family have police checks, who the other people are who have access to our homes and then they ask if THEY can hang out for a few hours? That is totally incongruent withe what every.....single.... .parent....I have ever interviewed with showed concern with.

Honestly, it is my JOB, first and foremost, to ensure every child in my care is safe, both emotionally, environmentally and physically. These parents don't go and get US a police check. They could be anyone!

There is a provider who used to frequent this forum who has a story about this situation. I will paraphrase, but, in short, she exchanged daycare services for some home repairs with a current, and long-time client at the time. The dad was INSIDE the house for hours and hours doing some renos etc while the daycare was operating. A few months later she found out that dcdad had a record for sexual misconduct or sexual assault (not sure on the exact terms). Yes! She had a convicted sex offender in her home during daycare hours and never knew it until it was too late!

Point is, they can't have it all!

I get it, I really do. It has to take every ounce of strength you have, as a parent, to hand over your child to, what is essentially, a stranger. But, and I am gonna get flamed for this - that is the CHOICE you make when you decide to go and work outside your home and put your child in daycare. Does it suck? I'm sure it does! But that is the downside of your choice, as a parent.

I dont do interviews during daycare hours for security reasons and I generally do a bit of transitioning and have the parents drop off for an hour in the am the first day and then two hours the second day and then for lunch the next day and progressively longer. I'm most interested in getting a nap out of them before the parent starts back to work. This all depends on the time frame available and he age of the child ..... If I'm dealing with a child that has been in care before then I just do one or two visits .... I try to do more if its a parent coming off mat leave. If its good weather and the parent wants to stay for 15 mins or so then I have them come when we are outside.

When I first started - I did a couple of interviews during daycare hours (after getting permission from every existing client first). Each interview was a flaming disaster. I couldn't talk and carry out a conversation with the daycare kids vying for my attention and then they acted up. It was impossible to have an adult conversation about policies and rules and have noisy kids underfoot and playing things up for attention.

I never ever do an interview during daycare hours now. I don't care if that parent decides not to sign with me - but it will just not happen again. Either way it is a lost cause IMO. :)

I interview in evenings or weekends.

I don't allow parents to come in to transition the kids either. I don't understand how it helps to have the parents here because eventually the parent still leaves. The child may actually be more confused why the parent stayed at first and now isn't or where they went. I am totally a believer of quick drop offs especially during the first month. I always set the parents' expectations during an interview about what it would be like the first month with quick drop offs.

I do offer transition days where the parents can drop their child for 2 hours, then a half day and then 6 hours and then 10 hours. I charge for this. I am not sure if it really helps but it tends to make the parents feel better and it works for some kids depending on personality.

Agree 100%

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Judy Trickett

I never allow a dcparent to be IN my daycare while other kids are here. It's not safe, IMO. I don't know these people! They all sit in our living rooms and ask if we have police checks, if the other people in our family have police checks, who the other people are who have access to our homes and then they ask if THEY can hang out for a few hours? That is totally incongruent withe what every.....single.... .parent....I have ever interviewed with showed concern with.

Honestly, it is my JOB, first and foremost, to ensure every child in my care is safe, both emotionally, environmentally and physically. These parents don't go and get US a police check. They could be anyone!

There is a provider who used to frequent this forum who has a story about this situation. I will paraphrase, but, in short, she exchanged daycare services for some home repairs with a current, and long-time client at the time. The dad was INSIDE the house for hours and hours doing some renos etc while the daycare was operating. A few months later she found out that dcdad had a record for sexual misconduct or sexual assault (not sure on the exact terms). Yes! She had a convicted sex offender in her home during daycare hours and never knew it until it was too late!

Point is, they can't have it all!

I get it, I really do. It has to take every ounce of strength you have, as a parent, to hand over your child to, what is essentially, a stranger. But, and I am gonna get flamed for this - that is the CHOICE you make when you decide to go and work outside your home and put your child in daycare. Does it suck? I'm sure it does! But that is the downside of your choice, as a parent.

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Great responses!

For me, I interview evenings at the end of the day before dinner so that all of my family is home. The parents get to meet my children, and my husband and I also give them a tour of my entire house. That way they can meet everyone and see everything.

I do not allow parents to come into my home for interviews during business hours for safety reasons. We don't know anything about these people, and exactly like Judy said, they ask for Criminal Reference checks on us yet are wanting to come inside our home with other peoples children? Would they like another potential client doing the same? Doubtful. As well, it really affects the way the other children behave and attempting to do a tour or have a conversation doesn't work.

If parents want to see what is going on day to day wise I have no issues with them arriving a few mins early at pick up and invite them to "come on in" and see what their child is doing. Warmer weather we are always outside in the yard so they can see exactly what is going on then too.

For transition, I have done 2 methods: 2 half days (one am one pm) then 1 shortened full day (9-3) and I have just done a cold turkey start both methods have involved ALOT of tears from parents and kiddos.

I encourage parents to "drop and go" and if there is anything I need to be made aware of that can't be said in the brief drop off to text me.

I understand not wanting to do interviews during dc hours and not wanting clients in your home.

I am so glad that I have had good experiences with both though. There was only one dcg that I had that I wouldn't have wanted to do interviews with during the day because she acted up when parents were around. Thankfully, I never had to interview while she was here. For the amount of interviews I have to do, it's not a concern for me. I have actually had a few parents say they chose me because of how I interacted with the children. They wouldn't have seen this otherwise. I also do interviews during the day selfishly as I don't want to make my day any longer than it has to be. If a parent can only meet outside of dc hours I obviously would but that has only happened once.

I get not wanting strangers in your home. My fiance is home during the day as he works evenings so I am lucky in that way too. I like for them to meet him as he is my backup if I am sick or have to run errands/dr appt's. He is with the children a lot so it's important for them to meet him. I also feel that some if not most parents choose hdc's for the "home like" atmosphere and I enjoy being able to provide that. All the parents know the children as they are their child's friends and get invited to the birthday parties, play dates etc. I have usually had 2-3 parents in care at the same time that knew each other as well outside of dc. All the moms talk to each other at pick up/drop off and I think they really enjoy getting to know who all comes here.

Everyone will run their dc different though so it is up to each of us to find a way that works for us. Right now this way works best for me. It might change in the future but for now, I love it. I love this site because if I ever do have to change the way I operate, there are so many ideas here!