Refuses to poop

This question is about my 2.5 year old niece. She was doing really well with potty training, but then had something happen like a diaper rash or some constipation problem (my sister isn't sure) that made it hurt to poop and now she freaks out and refuses to go on the potty. She does this at home and at daycare. It is so bad that she refuses to poop at all (holds it in) and is now pooping in her sleep when her body relaxes.

They took her to the doctor today and the doc said it is totally a psychological thing and to take a break from trying to potty train for awhile, but didn't give much other advice.

Have any of you dealt with something like this and what did you do to fix it? How much time would you give before resuming potty training again?

My own daughter was almost 3 and would hold it in for days. I think the longest was a week. I took her to the doctor and he said the same thing...particularly common amongst girls.
He advised some senokot (to soften the poop) which took days to work. I finally was so desperate I purchased child size glycerine suppositories. The first time she freaked to have me insert it even though I explained why and that she would poop. It worked within minutes. She did poop in her diaper and seriously I had to change it mid pooping as there was so much. It was like those jiffy pop popcorn things expandingLOL. Anyway, from then on she preferred to go on the potty to poop because she knew those suppositories were sitting on the bathroom counter (on purpose) just waiting to be used.

I have had a few girls (always seems to be girls) who have gone through this. I agree with the Dr and hold off on any pressure with potty training and they come around. If parents stress the kid out too much they can become encopretic (encopresis) where they become so constipated (which can form a "plug" and requiring stool softeners) and loose some function of their rectum. Giving her juices and lot's of fibre to make her stool softer will help her gain her confidence again. Take away the discomfort and she will do better for sure.

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Originally Posted by mimi

It was like those jiffy pop popcorn things expandingLOL. Anyway, from then on she preferred to go on the potty to poop because she knew those suppositories were sitting on the bathroom counter (on purpose) just waiting to be used.

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That is totally disgusting but is also a totally hilarious comparison! LOL

I had a little boy who would hold and hold and hold until it would literally explode out of him and there was always bleeding from holding it for so many days. He would sit and squirm in his booster seat at meals and jump down crying because he felt the urge to go. Well, honestly, the disruption started to get too ridiculous (this was at every snack, meal and circle time), so when he started up I would put him on the toilet (and this was BEFORE he was toilet trained) and tell him that he had to stay on there until he pooped. This may sound harsh to some, but hear me out. The first couple days he screamed as he sat on the toilet because his body forced him to go while in that position and it hurt. But then we made it our daily routine and as he started going more often, his bm's became smaller and softer so over a short period of time he learned that it's no big deal. He felt SO much better and Mom and Dad were very grateful. Does your neice have any signs that she needs to go while she's holding it?? Like jumping up from a sitting position, or holding bum, or making little whiny noises?

All Bran bars!!!! They are very effective and the choc chip ones are tasty

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Originally Posted by Lou

I had a little boy who would hold and hold and hold until it would literally explode out of him and there was always bleeding from holding it for so many days. He would sit and squirm in his booster seat at meals and jump down crying because he felt the urge to go. Well, honestly, the disruption started to get too ridiculous (this was at every snack, meal and circle time), so when he started up I would put him on the toilet (and this was BEFORE he was toilet trained) and tell him that he had to stay on there until he pooped. This may sound harsh to some, but hear me out. The first couple days he screamed as he sat on the toilet because his body forced him to go while in that position and it hurt. But then we made it our daily routine and as he started going more often, his bm's became smaller and softer so over a short period of time he learned that it's no big deal. He felt SO much better and Mom and Dad were very grateful. Does your neice have any signs that she needs to go while she's holding it?? Like jumping up from a sitting position, or holding bum, or making little whiny noises?

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Yes, I believe she does at times but it is something that has been agreed by her parents, her daycare and her doctor that she needs to take a break from the potty as it is causing her undue stress. It isn't that she is necessarily constipated and it can't come out, but that she is willfully holding it in. The doctor said the fact that she poops in her sleep means it is not a constipation issue.

They have all tried to get her to sit and go, but she gets very upset and it isn't helping anything anymore to try to force her as it has been going on for weeks now. If she comes to the idea of going on the potty herself she is okay with it, but if anyone asks her or tells her to go potty she fights it. So how would some reverse psychology go about for a 2.5 year old!

From my earlier post, I mentioned giving my daughter a suppository because she was holding not constipated. This suppository overrode her holding and the bm brought such relief to her, as having a bowel full is not comfortable, that a light bulb went off and she realized pooping brought her relief and made her feel better. I guess every child who has this issue has a different switch which will make them realize pooping is a good thing....we just have to find it.

My dcg who just turned three has had her toilet training stopped because it was such a battle. She is like a different kid now the pressure is off and we are hoping she will initiate going on the potty herself.

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Originally Posted by mimi

From my earlier post, I mentioned giving my daughter a suppository because she was holding not constipated. This suppository overrode her holding and the bm brought such relief to her, as having a bowel full is not comfortable, that a light bulb went off and she realized pooping brought her relief and made her feel better. I guess every child who has this issue has a different switch which will make them realize pooping is a good thing....we just have to find it.

My dcg who just turned three has had her toilet training stopped because it was such a battle. She is like a different kid now the pressure is off and we are hoping she will initiate going on the potty herself.

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This is what my sister is hoping for, that once the pressure is off she will regain interest and confidence in using the potty again.

Just wanted to say I totally understand as I am going through this with my own daughter right now. I seem to be having some success by giving her the iPad while on the toilet. Also I find her more likely to go when I am not in the bathroom with her and she has privacy. Another thing that has really been helping is rewards. She gets not one, not two but a whole HANDFUL of gummy bears when she poops on the toilet and she loves it! However when I find that she has not gone in 1-2 days and is holding and refusing to go I just put her in a pull-up so she doesn't get constipated or get complications from holding it and then once she has had a BM we start over and go back to underwear. I think we are almost there.