Almost 2-yr-old still on baby food!

I have a 20-month-old dcb who has pretty crazy eating issues. The majority of his diet is still baby food. He'll eat dry carbs-crackers, cereal, toast, goldfish, but that's about it. He absolutely refuses to put anything else in his mouth. No fruit, veggies, meat, eggs, anything. Mom has recently taken him to a pediatric dietician, and the only suggestion that she was given was to keep giving him the baby food, whereas we had been trying to phase it out. The dietician said to "hide" bits of cooked veggies like peas or corn in the baby food and hide bits of meat and such in it to sneak it into his diet.

Frankly, my initial thinking was the exact opposite. There is no reason the child shouldn't be able to eat - he has a mouth full of teeth, doesn't have any gag reflex or tongue issues or anything like that, and is obviously capable of eating - hand him a whole graham cracker and he'll take bites, chew and swallow just fine! He's simply learned that if he refuses long enough, he'll be given his purees.

I feel that a crash course in real food is necessary. Give him a meal appropriate to his age and abilities, so small bites, food cut up, etc, and leave him to it. If he doesn't eat, fine, he will be hungry. He's not going to starve himself, and I know he's capable of chewing and swallowing properly. I am pretty confident that after a week or so he'll start to realize that he's hungry and start to eat.

I tried what mom said the dietician suggested today. We had fried eggs (along with veggies and fruit) so I cut it up and mixed some into his jar of baby food. The first 2 or 3 bites went fine, and then he figured out what was going on, and every bite after that was a huge struggle. It was ridiculous! He's not the only child in my care, and he's almost 2! Hand-feeding him every bite is just silly, in my opinion.

Anyone know of a non-judgemental way to bring this up with mom? I'm willing to accept that nap times will be a challenge for the week if he's hungry, but is there a way to gently suggest to mom that the dietician's recommendations are just not suitable to daycare? (And that I think the suggestion is pretty stupid, but maybe we'll leave that part out!:)

I would say something like "I understand the doctor suggested this technique but to be honest, I tried it for a day or two and it's just not working out in my group setting. I would like to suggest "insert your plan here" for a week and see if that works. Are you open to that? If not, I don't think I can care for xxx as the doctor's suggestion does not allow me to safely look after all the children in my care because I have to be one on one with xxx."

exactly what 5LM said!

I feel for you. I cannot imagine a 20 month old on baby food!! I just started with an 11 month old on baby food and it takes up so much time! I immediately began giving him larger chunks and letting him eat on his own and within 2 weeks he was eating the same things as the rest of us and mom quit sending the puree (her suggestion as he was always too full to barely eat any of it). By 20 months old at my house they are sitting at the big kid table with the big kids using utensils and eating 100% on their own.

I would also play on your experience with other children versus a dietician who has likely had little experience weaning children. Textbook learning is not the same as hands on and while the dietician would have done an internship it's highly unlikely it would have been with multiple under 3's with a multitude of eating habits. Even mothers of a few children likely haven't been exposed to fussy eaters as much as a home daycare provider. Also, hiding food for a 2 year old is really an insult to their intelligence. That's something that could be said with some humour as 2 year olds are not stupid. This isn't a food issue but a power and control issue. I agree with you completely. I think you could say it to the parent in the exact same way you did in your original post. I think what would be a good idea, and a good way of wording it to the parents is that you would like to wean the child. Instead of a full meal of mixed items, pick one or two foods, a savoury and a sweet like fruit. Cut into small pieces and spoon feed a few times and leave him to it. Yes you are busy with the others but if this was a 1 year old the spoon feeding wouldn't be an issue. This is a means to an end where in the next few weeks the spoon feeding will possibly result in a positive outcome so makes it a worthwhile action to take. Hand mom a menu a week in advance and suggest that you both feed the same foods as you would when newly introducing foods to a weaning infant. You would feed the same foods several days before introducing a new food. If there is no other option eventually he will be forced to try it and then will eventually eat it, but if mom is caving into him at home with crackers and cereal, etc then she is enabling his fussiness with food. If she is not willing to work with you then you are fighting a losing battle. Our days are busy enough without these kinds of situations where we bust our balls in the best interests of the child but parents are not on board.

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Originally Posted by mickyc

exactly what 5LM said!

I feel for you. I cannot imagine a 20 month old on baby food!! I just started with an 11 month old on baby food and it takes up so much time! I immediately began giving him larger chunks and letting him eat on his own and within 2 weeks he was eating the same things as the rest of us and mom quit sending the puree (her suggestion as he was always too full to barely eat any of it). By 20 months old at my house they are sitting at the big kid table with the big kids using utensils and eating 100% on their own.

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I second that.....big kids are sat at the big kid table and either eat 100% on their own or go hungry. The minute we start buying into this fussy and picky eater nonsense, very quickly things can escalate.

This is exactly the problem, bright sparks! Mom is TOTALLY catering to him! She had to keep a food journal for a few days before going to the dietician, and she brought it last week so I could record what he ate during the day. I knew they were letting him get away with it, but the journal was insane! His dinner, 3 nights in a row, was BABY CEREAL! Mixed with 2 tablespoons of yogurt. Spoon-fed. That's it! My 15-month-old hasn't eaten baby cereal in months! They're not even trying at all. I've been giving him the same thing as everyone else, and then if at the end of lunch time he hasn't eaten enough, I've been giving him baby food. I thought this was what was happening at home too, that they were at least giving him a chance to try it, but that's not even happening.

I really don't like tricking kids to get them to eat their meals. This whole idea of "hiding" veggies in pasta for kids who won't touch veggies, etc etc, is just silly. If they cater to him this much and sneak food into him now, when will they ever stop and insist that he eat what's served to him? In my opinion, it's just setting him up for having more issues with eating.

Thanks for the positive feedback; I really didn't think I was being too harsh, but it's a relief to have some confirmation of that! I'll try to talk to her this evening, because I don't want to do it behind her back, but the baby food isn't coming out in my house anymore.

I think the complete elimination of baby food is important. He knows if he doesnt eat it you will give him the bay food so where is the incentive to eat or the realization that there are negative consequences to not eating the food given to him. I would highlight to the mother that if you aren't consistently doing the same at home and in daycare then efforts are completely wasted. He is of an age where he will know how to manipulate either or both of you. She needs to not give baby food and not give the crackers and cereal. I would reinforce that the cereal is nutrient deficient for his age, although its rubbish for any child to be honest. Mum needs to be the parent here and take control of the situation, A dietician isn't needed in this case as it isn't really a food issue, just a parent under the thumb by a fussy eater issue which isn't really something a dietician can help with.

I agree totally. I don't do any feeding of kids at all. I just pretend they know how to do it and they figure it out quickly. I for sure wouldn't feed a 2 yr old and i would cut out all the crap he's eating.

well I have a kid like this. This child ate baby food for a long time. Well suddenly mom stops the baby food at almost 2 yrs old and then wants the child to eat regular food. But the problem is that they were never taught to eat anything except either junk like cookies and crackers or dry cereal, well now this child eats nothing and I kid you not, except junk. Fries have to be a certain kind, only plane pasta and it has to be a certain kind and now they add food coloring to it, eats no veggies or fruit and I mean nothing. She also knows that she will get junk if she doesn't eat, fruit snacks are a staple in her diet. But because of the poor diet, her hair is very thin and falls out in clumps, pale skin, sunken eyes, looks like an ethiopian child (big belly and head but skinny every where else) I've complained but you know what the problem is LAZY PARENTS. Its easier to feed crap to a child then to feed them good food.

This is getting more and more ridiculous. I spoke to Mom, she seemed like she was on board with cutting out baby food, so that's what I've been doing. He eats NOTHING. Right now he is whining at the table looking at a plate of pasta, tomato sauce, and mixed veggies, all cut up for him. His baby food is literally the same thing, just mush (he eats those disgusting Heinz meal ones, like "alphabet pasta with tomato sauce," etc)
I thought we were on the same page, and then a couple days ago, dcmom suggested that since that day I would only have her kids and my own kids, that she take a day off (must be nice!) and we take the kids to an indoor playplace for a treat. We got them Mcdonalds afterwards, and he was eating a grilled cheese, one of the very few things he will actually eat. He had a couple bites, and then started whining, and the second he made a peep, she whips out a jar of baby food and starts feeding him! The whining probably wasn't even due to the grilled cheese, he continued to eat it! I couldn't believe it - where is the incentive to eat real food??
I refuse to give him baby food, so he refuses to eat. The problem is, he goes home and gets fed baby food and baby cereal every night for supper, so where is the incentive to try real food? He's simply going to starve himself all day with me, then go home and get filled up with mush.

I have to talk to mom again, but I don't want to offend her. I've tried already, and she claimed she was ok with it. Well, obviously not! Now I'm faced with him either screaming through nap because he's hungry or caving and giving him the damn baby food, further reinforcing that if he cries or whines long enough, we will all cave and he will get what he wants. If the parents won't cooperate, I don't see the point in my day suffering.