Sleep help - continues

Me again. Same child, exact same situation.

He is 13months old. He's been here for 7 weeks. For the first 3 weeks I helped him fall asleep by standing beside crib and rubbing his belly for like 2-3 minutes before he'd pass out.

I then stopped that as he would wake and would not put himself back to sleep. He does not put himself to sleep at home and has no sleep skills at all.

For the last 4 weeks I have simply plopped him in his crib and left, returning at the end of nap. The child has not slept, not once in those 4 weeks. He has sat there...never lies down, falling asleep then shaking his head awake watching the door. Waiting for me to come put him to sleep. Little to no tears, at all. Sits there, waiting doing everything he can to stay awake. I have a video monitor so I know he never sleeps.

I swear he is waiting for me to come put him to sleep. He's not trying to get out of nap I believe he is exhausted and waiting to have me rub his belly!

I would really, really like to have the child nap. He NEEDS to sleep. He is 13months old...sleeps like crap at home (parents fully admit to it and that they have created poor sleep habit etc.)

He is happy, calm and fully involved in all activities. He east great, arrives happy, leaves happy. Causes no disruption what so ever to the daycare. He sits in crib, quietly for nap time and is rather indifferent when I come take him back to play at the end of nap.

I have provided many suggestions for home, suggestions that match the families need to keep their child tear free. They asked for the suggestions and I believe will try to implement some. I have no interest in telling the family how to raise their child at home and I have no interest in making them do it my way. I could care less what parents do at home, their child adapts to my way here at daycare and if they cannot adapt AND are causing problems due to drastically different parenting styles then they go elsewhere. That is not a problem here as the child is calm and happy.

What I need is some ideas as to how to get the child to sleep. I tried taking away his blanket on Friday as he would sit there playing with it and I thought maybe that it was keeping him awake. Made zero difference! He just sat there without it! gahhhhhh.

I put up room darkening shades under the curtains to make it even darker...zero difference!

The only thing left that I can think of is to stop playing his sleep music. It's the music he sleeps to at home. I worry it will freak him out and he will panic and scream. Do I dare try it? I have it in a cd player on repeat. I am tempted to play it but not set it to repeat so after 45min it stops...what do you think? What if he freaks out...would I leave him?

Sometimes when I bring him down he has had a poop during the nap time. But not always...should I be going in to check if he has pooped to see if that keeps him up? I don't think it does as the naps he didn't poop he didn't sleep and acts the exact same. I hate leaving a child in a poopy diaper but worry that going in to check is a bad habit to start, especially since I have no way of knowing when during a nap he'd poop.

I'd appreciate any thoughts on what I can do here at the daycare to get the child to sleep. Anyone experience this, how long did it take for the child to learn to sleep on their own? Should I even care at this point if the child is up there happy enough and is perfectly fine all day? I mean the child does cry a bit during the nap...but it's never a screaming and only lasts 20-30 seconds before he stops and sits there. I have noticed when he does cry it is when he is falling over asleep and it seems like he is saying "okay, I am really ready for you to come put me to sleep now".

Could it be that the time up there sitting in a dark, quiet room is restful and therefore he is making it through the day without melting down? He naps 2x a day...as all my kids are 12-16months old and do 2 naps still. I hope to change them to one nap in the coming month as we get outside more but some are really not ready yet.

IMO I wouldn't worry about it. He doesn't disturb anyone else, he sits quietly, is happy all day. I say turn off the monitor and quit worrying about it. Put him in, leave him and go get him when it is over. If he pooped, oh well, it happens.

I have a child who is sorta like yours. He sleeps 12-13 hours a night though so I think he just isn't ready to or needing a nap. He also poops an hour into nap and I go down and change him and put him back in his playpen. He sits/lays in there the whole time and his parents are ok with this so I don't worry about anymore.

If he isn't crying or screaming, I would leave him be!
I know he needs his nap, and hopefully he will figure it out. But I would have a totally different response if he was miserable or keeping the other kids up.
I rarely go in to change a bum during nap time. They all get a fresh diaper immediately before. And once I determine the ones who have a tendency to wake up poopy, I will slather their bums with a barrier cream, just in case. But most of them wake up 5-10 min before nap is done, and poop!