Children that DO NOT get along.

Hello,

I have been having an ongoing struggle with my LO and a DCG for months now. They will not get along, the despise each other. Both are sweet caring children who get along excellently with all other children and I can't say one starts the fighting more than the other, they just don't get along. I mean hair pulling, biting, pushing, grabbing, slapping, anything! I do not see these behaviors when they are around the other children. I have tried a lot of different approaches to the situation. My LO is 2 and the DCG is 18 months. Im looking for any suggestions. I am pregnant now and will be closing in september but I need my sanity to get through these last couple months.

Thank you.

This situation is HARD, and I've been through it. I have a dcb who has been with me since 15 months old...he is only 2 months younger than my own son and they do NOT get along. Their personalities clash like you wouldn't believe...dcb is a button pusher, and can be quite mean, and ds is an overreactor. Both have been aggressive with each other, the difference is that my son got aggressive with him in retaliation over something while dcb got aggressive for absolutely no reason. I almost terminated. I didn't want to lose his sibling who is also in care and is wonderful and so I thought I just have to stick out these last few months before he goes to school. Well, the heavens did me a favour and his parents are sending him to camps over the summer (but leaving the sibling here with me) and his last day is on Friday. I will be very sad to see him leave (I do love him very much despite turning my days upside down!) but I am ecstatic that the drama will soon end! I also want to add that the squabbling did get much better over the last couple months with help from his parents setting stern expectations for friendly behaviour while at my house. The worst of it was a terrible phase tha lasted about 5 months...so maybe it will get better for you? On the flip side, since you are having a baby soon there is no reason why you can't give early notice to them, and start fresh with new clients when you return to work.

You say that both of these children are great with other kids except each other so it's really just a case of them not liking each other and that is totally fine!! Their behaviour towards each other isn't though. We don't have to like everyone but we must be nice to everyone. Just keep enforcing the "gentle hands", "play nice" rules and keep them separated as much as possible. They shouldn't have to play with each other if they really don't like each other but they also need to learn how to co-exist without all that fighting lol.

Learning to get along with people we don't like is a valuable lesson and one that should be taught young so that the bully behaviours decrease before they get older and become mean little children/teens!

Good luck!

I was going to say almost the same thing !! I think a very good lesson to learn !!