20 month old head banging

I have had a dck for about 10 months now, VERY hard transition for him, he was swaddled before coming so really resisted napping if he was not swaddled, screams, naps for 15-20 min. then wakes up just wailing...well the past few days I guess at home he has started banging his head VERY hard on the floor, against the wall etc. but he hasn't done it here.....until today. He went down like a dream for a nap and about 20 minutes later I heard this huge noise so I went to his room and he was smashing his head against the wall, I laid him back down and rubbed his back, head etc and he was sooo tired, I backed out of the room and it lasted about 10 seconds and he was up doing it again....I moved the crib away from the wall and he started banging his head on the crib. I have never had a child do this and at 20 months I think he is to old for behaviour like this. I messaged the mom and dad immediately and told him this will not be tolerated and that I do not want him to hurt himself. Any other suggestions to get this child through this "stage" He's also been a biter for a long time. The mom is always saying, "oh he's just frustrated and trying to assert himself" I finally said, no he's having a temper tantrum and he has to stop, lol. How do you get through to parents like this. I'm at my wits end with this little one and I have tons of patience, thank goodness :)

I have no advice to offer. The minute I find out that AP is their preference, I run from them as potential clients. It is always a hard transition and the parents never seem to take provider concerns seriously.

Is he in a 'real' crib? If so I would move him to a playpen as they have soft sides and his head banging will have less of an impact (on him and you). Make sure the playpen is a legitimate napping playpen where the bottom mattress straps down as the head banging will likely flip the mat up and he can get tangled.

You would have to figure out why his is doing it. If it is for attention and to get what he wants then you need to find a way to ignore him and not give in...BUT obviously this is hard when he is banging his head and has the potential to harm himself. The playpen may work...if it helps then I would have one set up just outside your main playspace and when this behavior starts remove him with no words or attention and leave him in the playpen where he is safe.

Keep note of other atypical behaviors as children that head bang may have other 'issues' that need addressing but again, at this age it is so hard to tell if this is just a severe tantrum behavior (which would be classified as normal) or if it is a sign of a deeper problem.

Hopefully the parents help you out here!!

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Originally Posted by Rachael

I have no advice to offer. The minute I find out that AP is their preference, I run from them as potential clients. It is always a hard transition and the parents never seem to take provider concerns seriously.

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I'm confused. Where did the OP say that they were following an AP method? Did I miss something?

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

I'm confused. Where did the OP say that they were following an AP method? Did I miss something?

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AP comes in many forms. Not all parents following all of the views. Often parents pick and choose elements of AP which appeal to them.

Swaddling a child, wearing a child, feeding on demands vs schedule, duel sleeping - all elements of AP that some parents embrace.

For me, I have found that children who were accustomed to any of these elements of AP make for a harder transition than those who have not. Nap time seems to be particularly challenging as children are often used to the physical closeness of a parent be that from being worn or from duel-napping. They are also used to napping on their own schedule rather than that of a day care environment.

As said, the minute I find out that any of these elements have been the child's routine to date, I personally run from them as potential clients. It's not that I don't respect their choices as parents but merely that I am not prepared to offer anything to one child that I cannot offer to them all. Since I am not physically capable of laying down with 6 children, at various times of the day, or rubbing 6 backs or carrying around 6 children, I tend to avoid these clients.

I had a dcg , it started around the same age , who would slam her head/face when upset . I tried countless times talking with the parents and although they would admit it was getting to be a problem ( uh ya !) had very little interest in dealing with it . I documented , and kept a close eye in her but one day after another child and her grabbed the same toy and she didn't get it , she walked away , as I was congratulating her on sharing ect she was looking straight at me , walked over to the little tyke slide and smashed her face into it until I ran to stop her . Her mom was so confused why I called her for immediate pick up !!!
I termed eventually because of no support from parents . Although they told me to spank her ! Goodness !!!
I explained why I would never be doing that here , and I think they felt like I wasn't willing to "help" with the issue !!!!
I saw this child not a couple of weeks ago , they didn't see me . I watched her and thought maybe I was wrong not to work through with her but then the mom told her they had to go and she went into a fit ! But now she's 3 and not do little !
I think if you put your little guy into a playpen he might be able to still hurt himself . I would to be safe nap him on a mat but then I realize nap might be a gong show .
They used to sell crib pads for over top of the bars , that might work !!

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Originally Posted by Rachael

AP comes in many forms. Not all parents following all of the views. Often parents pick and choose elements of AP which appeal to them.

Swaddling a child, wearing a child, feeding on demands vs schedule, duel sleeping - all elements of AP that some parents embrace.

For me, I have found that children who were accustomed to any of these elements of AP make for a harder transition than those who have not. Nap time seems to be particularly challenging as children are often used to the physical closeness of a parent be that from being worn or from duel-napping. They are also used to napping on their own schedule rather than that of a day care environment.

As said, the minute I find out that any of these elements have been the child's routine to date, I personally run from them as potential clients. It's not that I don't respect their choices as parents but merely that I am not prepared to offer anything to one child that I cannot offer to them all. Since I am not physically capable of laying down with 6 children, at various times of the day, or rubbing 6 backs or carrying around 6 children, I tend to avoid these clients.

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I don't see swaddling a child to be indictive of AP at all. Swaddling was the norm for babies when I had my kids and had nothing to do with AP. It's what all midwives and health visitors told everyone to do and it was to enable the child to sleep without the need of an adult physically comforting them. That's not even close to AP principals. I think it's jumping the gun to be honest to assume any level of AP based on one action which to me at least makes no sense. I understand if a parent is using any element of AP the caution a provider would have as I'm experienced in this which wasn't fun but this in my opinion a swaddled child isn't the same as cosleeping or constant physical contact preventing them from learning to self sooth.

Thank you bright sparks, i agree. Both my children were swaddled, and in my experiences, I have found that if I swaddle a child that is used to co sleeping that it helps to transition them for nap time. I have had three children that would not sleep at home alone, but for na here I had not a single problem.