Did I Make the Right Decision?

Three weeks ago, I took on a new 1 yr old. Out of the first six days, only two went smoothly. The other four he was definitely suffering from separation anxiety. So much so, that my other two children were feeling stressed and scared of him (a few times, all three were screaming). I had to carry him in my arms all the time. If I put him down, the screaming would start up. Today, after 3 hours of non-stop crying, I finally called his mom and mentioned he was not a good fit with the other kids, and suggested to terminate. We were still on a trial basis, and mutually agreed to the termination. Only once before did this happen to me about four years ago, but I stuck it out for about 3 months. I know this was best for everyone (well everyone except mom), but I feel guilty for leaving her in a tough position (she starts work next Monday). I keep thinking maybe I should have tried a little harder, after all it is my job as a caregiver to ease him into the daycare, but then I think of the reaction of the other two kids crying at him and my stress level. Should I have tried harder to make it work?

Only you know how you felt and if you could have kept going. I did this once, termed after day 3. The boy ended up doing well in the 3rd daycare (I was already daycare No. 2). Don't feel bad, just move forward.

You can't dwell on it now. I'm sure you know what your breaking point is best and you made the best decision for you. Could you recommend another provider to this parent?

I agree with the other ladies. I know it's easy to say to not dwell on it etc because we do this job because we love children and we want to make it work. However, I think it's important that we all know what our breaking point is and to take action before we get past that point. In the end, mom and child will be fine and they will find another daycare and hopefully it will work out better for them.

Take some time to be sad over it (I know I would! It's just who I am) and than continue on being the best provider you can be to your current group! Don't look back because there is nothing you can do now and that is okay!!

Yes, I did. I gave her a few connections. She stayed with him the first day, but all the other days she dropped him off for 6-7 hours. I feel better about my decision. Thanks for all the good advise:)

I don't have any advice, but I think you made the right decision. Especially if all 3 of them were screaming, you have to think of what's best for everyone!

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Originally Posted by Elly

Yes, I did. I gave her a few connections. She stayed with him the first day, but all the other days she dropped him off for 6-7 hours. I feel better about my decision. Thanks for all the good advise:)

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This is why I don't allow parents to stay at daycare for ANY amount of time. I find it confuses the child and then they think mom is always going to stay. You might have had the same outcome though if the child has never been away from mom but I usually allow 2 half days (mornings) then into daycare full-time. Parents need to drop off quickly and definitely no staying.

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Yes, I did. I gave her a few connections. She stayed with him the first day, but all the other days she dropped him off for 6-7 hours. I feel better about my decision.

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I don't let parents stay for phase-in's which I rarely do. Most of my clients come at 12 months and so phase in's tend to be more for the moms than for the kids who just get on with it. The most I will allow for a phase in is two short visits immediately before a start. One where Mom grabs a coffee or some groceries and returns within 2 hours max. A second where it's more of a brisk drop and go for a similar amount of time.

If people want 6-7 hours for phase in's then that's a full day and they need an earlier start date and to pay the fees accordingly.